Jaded

"Billie Joe get your fucking ass out here and help Sarah and I set this up!" I screamed as the screened in porch came tumbling down.

"Why can't Mike?" I faintly heard Billie Joe yell from inside the camper.

"Because he's not making out with his fucking girlfriend like you are!" I said as Sarah and I gathered the metal sticks and began re-staking them into the ground. The only way Billie Joe agreed to come was if Kristy could come. I was enthralled by the idea, but whatever. Mike rustled through the bushes gathering fire wood. Sarah stood with one hand on her hip and the other in the air holding the steak in place. I took it upon myself to try and hammer the steak in the ground, until I pulverized my thump instead.

"God fucking dammit!" I cried wrapping my free hand around my wounded thumb. I was pissed. I took the hammer and chucked it at the camper.

"Billie Joe get your fucking ass out here!" I howled.

"What?!" he yelled peeking his head out of the camper.

"Fucking help! Can't you see us all trying to get things in order?!"

"Your the one who wanted to go on this fucking camping trip!" he bellowed.

"So! You came along, so you can help!" I said pointing my finger at him every time I said "you".

"I!" he began pointing at himself mocking the way I pointed to him previously "didn't want to come on this mother fucking trip, so I don't think I need to help!"

"You fuck-"

"Guys guys! Mike came from out of the woods. Keep it down would ya? Billie Joe you come over and help. Sam you, you just stop fucking yelling and help me get wood," said Mike.

I heard Billie Joe mumble under his breath as I we crossed paths. I'm sure calling me every word in the book.

Mike and I went off into the woods searching for wood before the sunset.

"You know Billie Joe really didn't want to go on this, right?" Mike asked as he handed another piece of wood to the tower pile that rested in my arms.

"Yeah, I figured. Why the hell did he have to bring Kristy though? He does know I think she's dumber then melting ice right?"

"Oh, yeah. He did that especially to piss you off. I'm sure they'll be all over each other,"

"I'll get him back," I said adjusting my arms so that we could fit a bit more wood.

"Just try not to kill each other? You wanted to come out here to get away remember?" Mike challenged. I gave a look of contemplation before nodding my head in agreement. Although, the real reason I did want to go camping was to avoid Jimmy and get away from Mom and Dan. I guess that does fit into the category of 'getting away', but I figured I'd clarify it more in depth.

When we returned we made a fire and did a few odd and end things like hook-up electricity, water, and a screened in porch. We weren't really "roughing it" at all, but I didn’t care. I was enjoying the time of being away.

“Why the fuck didn’t anyone tell me to bring a jacket?” Billie Joe said with the sleeves of his thermal hanging loose as if he had no arms.

“Well, due to the fact that we’re at a higher altitude and it’s pretty cold back home I figured you would be able to have the brain to pack some warmer clothes,” I stated with a fake smile plastered across my face.

Billie Joe tightened his face to where he looked like he was about to snap at me. Instead he did the one thing that would piss me the fuck off without even saying a single word to me.

“That’s okay I can warm myself up right here,” he said taking a seat on Kristy’s lap and instantly sticking his tongue down her throat.

Billie Joe was at his best pestering me with Kristy. They felt the need to share exchange taste in smores by constantly being attached by the mouth. Billie Joe would shoot a grin my way every once in a while, but I didn’t show it was fazing me.

Eventually we all went to bed. I prayed that I would wake up to a clothed Billie Joe and Kristy next to me and wouldn’t be awakened in the night by moans. You never can tell with Billie Joe what he might do.

**

That morning I was first to awake. I gathered a towel, some soap, and fresh clothes for the day and headed down to the bathrooms the camp ground provided.

When I returned Sarah was sitting on a lawn chair with a blanket around her by the once lit fire from the previous night eating some Frosted Flakes in a coffee cup.

“Morning,” I said taking a seat at the empty chair next to her.

“Hey,” she said after swallowing a mouth full of cereal.

“Sam, I want to thank you again for everything your doing for me,” she said after a few moments of silence between us.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said shrugging my shoulders “You want some coffee?” I asked.

“Sure,” she replied with a weak smile “Why don’t we make some breakfast for everyone?” she suggested. I shrugged my shoulders yet again in reassurance.

We took turns using the old Coleman gas stove that my dad used to make breakfast for Mom and I on when we used to go camping. I made the “camp coffee” as I called it and eggs, and Sarah made the bacon.

The aroma must have caught on to everyone, because soon enough everyone was up. Billie Joe and I still had not engaged in any positive feedback of a conversation and Kristy may not have been a genius, but she was no dummy to try and strike up a conversation with me.

While we all ate I had remembered when I was leaving the bathroom a bulletin board that had different trails we could take around the park Some took us up mountains, to water falls, national parks, and what not.

“Why don’t we all go on a hike today?” I asked.

“Why?” asked Mike poring his now third cup of coffee.

“Because, we are camping and that’s what people do when they camp,” I said trying to sound as convincing as possible.

“Well, I can’t go,” said Kristy.

I rolled my eyes and questioned why not.

“Because I only brought flip flops,”

I let out a laugh “Who the fuck goes camping in flip flops? You and Bill really were made for each other,”

“You know what Sam you can just shut the fuck up-“

“Billie Joe please let it go. I don’t want a fight. Just go with them,” said Kristy completely unexpectedly.

“No Kristy! She’s got no fucking right to talk to us that way!”

“Babe calm down,” she said kissing his temple “I have a nice book to read. I’ll be fine,”

Billie Joe wasn’t pleased, but she eventually convinced him to come along with us. I could’ve given a shit if he came or not. I was so infuriated with him that if we come across a cliff I don’t think I’d hesitate to give him a shove.

It went in the order myself, Sarah, Mike, and Billie Joe sulking in back as we walked the trails.

“How long is this thing with you and Billie Joe going to end?” Sarah whispered.

“As long as he stops being a fucking asshole,” I replied.

Billie Joe made the entire trip miserable. Anytime we’d catch a nice view he’d mumble negative comments. He lugged behind holding us up and was just an asshole period. On our way back I discovered a short cut that could get us back to camp faster.

“I have to take a piss,” Billie Joe mumbled for about the tenth time on this entire trip. I’m sure many of the times it was to piss me off.

“Again?” I asked while closing my eyes in aggravation.

“Yes, fucking again. Is that okay with you, Sam?”

“Whatever. It’s getting dark so make it quick,”

“Well, you’re the one who wanted to get off the fucking trail,”I heard him mumble.

Sarah, Mike, and I proceeded ahead and then decided to take a rest on a rock while we waited for Billie Joe to catch up. Lo and behold he appeared a few minutes later in which we proceeded home.

“Can we take a break,” Billie Joe asked not ten minutes after we had continued walking.

I let out an exhale of breath “We’re almost back to camp can’t it wait?”

“No, it fucking can’t. I don’t feel good,” said Billie Joe taking a seat on the ground scratching at his leg.

“All you’ve done this entire trip is bitch! Get the fuck over it!” I said exploding.

“You dragged me on this fucking thing-“ Billie Joe began until he leaned over to the side and vomited all over the place.

Sarah scrunched up her face in displeasure and Mike gave me a look of concern.

“Should have brought a fucking jacket,” I said crossing my arms unsympathetically assuming he just got sick from the cold or from exchanging so much damn saliva.

Billie Joe wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his shirt and said “You guys I really don’t feel good,” he whined and then proceeded to scratching his leg.

Sarah and Mike gathered around him as I still stood with my arms crossed looking at the sun setting behind a mountain.

Sarah got up and stood next to me and said “Sam, he really doesn’t look good at all,”

“He doesn’t,” said Mike getting up and coming towards Sarah and I “He’s really pale and sweating,”

“What the hell do you want me to do? I mean sitting here isn’t going to do anything. We have to at least get him back to camp,” I said.

“I know your pissed at him, but give the guy a break. I’ll carry him or something back to camp and-“ Mike began until we heard the leaves crunch and Billie Joe lying in his own vomit passed out.