Moving Is the Hardest Part

Breath Sherry breath my mind tells me. Stupid panic attacks...now the guys think I'm crazy! I paste the room with hot tears streaming down my face. I don't know a damn thing about this family... the only things I know so far is 1. I have to get out of this room and 2. Matt was my friend and now he's my half brother. I look around the room and find a box filled with pictures of me growing up. This must be what mom sent. I think finding the two DVD's and putting them in.

The first one is mom telling Gary about her cancer and me. Hearing her voice soothes me. The second DVD is just for me it says A Little Piece Of Heaven on it. It has all of mom and my favorite songs we would always sing together. Along with that it has mom reading poems and a few short home video's. I fall asleep listening to Yours by Lovex and dream about my mother and I on Mother's Day last year.

Later that night I wake up, go to the bathroom and sit in the dark just watching the rain hit the window outside. I think about my mom and how she loved the rain.

FLASH BACK

"Mommy whats that stuff?" you ask pointing at the window. "That's rain Star." "Whats rain?" "Rain is all the sadness of the Angels tears when someone dies." "So someone died?" "Yes Star someone died." "I don't like the rain." "Why not it's so beautiful and relaxing?" "But it's sad." "Not all the time...I'm happy when it rains." "Why?" "The coolness of the rain feels nice on my skin." "Can I feel?" "Sure give me your hand."

Mom takes your tiny hand in hers ans puts it out the window. "Ohhhhh cold!" "See isn't it nice?" "Yes." "You want to know the song I sing every time it rains?" "Yes I like when you sing Mommy!" "Okay it's called Rain by Breaking Benjamin." mom starts to sing and you listen. "This is the chorus sing with me?" the two of you sing.
Rain rain go away. Come again another day all the world is waiting for the sun.

END OF FLASH BACK

I open the window and the rain drops splash on my face as I cry and sing to myself, "Rain rain go away, come again another day all the world is waiting for the sun. Rain rain go away, come again another day all the world is waiting for the sun. All the world is waiting for the sun. All the world is waiting for the sun." I sing softly out loud and it feels like mom is singing along.

I take a deep breath, shut the window and whip me face, hell I feel a lot better. I continue to watch the rain fall and I can't help but think about mom. There's a soft knock at the door, but I say nothing. The lock clicks and the door opens slowly, "Sherry...you sleep?" Matt's voice ask. The room is very dark and cold, but Matt finds me.

"Look...I know you're mad at me for blowing up at you...but I'm not mad at you, Iwas am mad atmy our dad. I never thought he would cheat on my mom." I say nothing, I don't want to even look at Matt. "Sherry please say something?" "...You ever wonder why people cry when it rains?" I ask softly. "A little." "My mom said people cry cause another person has lost someone and they can sympathies with that person's pain and sorrow." "I can see that." "...Yea?" Matt looks at me," You were close huh?" "She was my best friend." "I'll be your best friend...if you'd like." I study Matt and smile a little. "I'd like a big brother." I say telling the truth. "You've got one!" Matt says pulling me into a hug.

"Come on I've got heat in my room." he jokes warming up my small hands. Matt picks me up and takes me to his room. I change into a pair of his old sweatpants and a wife beater, "Thanks Matt." I say getting under his covers. Matt pulls me close to him, "Love you sis." "Love you bro." I say before I fall asleep to Matt singing.