Not Just Any Whatsername

"Tré? Tre Cool? Bullshit!!" Alison said, raising an eyebrow, her voice full of doubt and ridicule.

"I'm serious" Alex said, averting her gaze from Alison's face and staring at her coffee. "We were both drunk and... yeah."

Alison folded her arms and looked down at Alex. "Alex, you know it's not good to lie! Especially about something this huge!!"

Alex looked up at Alison again. She slowly rose to her feet. "Are you calling me a liar Alison? Have I ever lied about something like this?"

Alison looked reluctant, as if she wanted to believe, but still didn't.

"No... but still... prove you slept with him," she said, also rising.

Alex regarded her with a look of surprise and questioning. "How the hell am I supposed to prove it to you? You want me to build a fricken time machine, tape the whole thing and bring it back for you to watch?" she asked, yelling as loudly as she could without actually yelling.

"No, you disgusting psycho!! I don't know how, but just prove it somehow!!" Alison was now yelling.

"Ix-nay on the shouting-ay." Alex groaned, raising her hands to her head.

The next few minutes were filled with an empty silence. "I know!" Alison said, banging her hands on the table, causing Alex to jump.

"What?" she said, sitting down and rubbing her eyes. Her head still felt like a rock had replaced her brain and her stomach felt like it had been left at the top of a rollercoaster while her body was at the bottom.

"I never told you this," Alison began. "But Tre Cool invented a sex position. If you slept with him, you would know what it was."

Alex sighed. She again averted her gaze from Alison. "It's called the 'Bullwinkle' and yes, we used it."

Clutching the back of the chair, Alison felt her knees weaken. She opened her mouth, only to shut it again when the words failed her. She had somehow known all along that Alex was speaking the truth, but she had not wanted to believe it. She could remember the days that they had spent fantasizing about the trio that made up the band Green Day. She didn't want to believe Alex, but she knew she had to. "You did sleep with him," she said, her voice shaking.

"Wow!" Alex said, her voice coated with sarcasm. "Nancy Drew has finally realised the truth!" s
S
he then raised her coffee to her lips and took a sip as Alison asked her "Was he good?"

Alex's coffee caught itself on the way down her throat as she choked. She coughed and spluttered as she spilt the remaining coffee. "What?!" she asked when she had stopped coughing.

"You're not getting off that easy!" Alison said, sitting down next to Alex, ignoring the coffee that was seeping through her jacket.

Alex looked at Alison as though she had sprouted another head. "You seriously want the details of my sex life? What are you? A sick perve?"

Alison glared at her. "No! Ordinarily, I wouldn't ask you, but hello! It's Tre Cool. You HAVE to tell me."

Alex rolled her eyes "What if I don't wanna tell you?"

"Come on Alex!! Please?!?!? I'll love you forever!!!" Alison's eyes were practically bugging out of her head.

"Uh, let me think about it. No," Alex said.

"Why not?!" Allie whined, trying her luck with the puppy eyes.

"Because I do not feel like exposing the details of what I did in some guy's bedroom to you!!"

"Alex, please!!! I swear... .I will... .I will... ." Allie trailed off, searching her mind for a good compromise. "I will clean your apartment for a month. I will do your dishes. Wash your clothes. ANYTHING!!!"

Alex sighed, a sure sign she was near defeat. "You're not going to let up about this, are you?" she asked Alison, staring down at the coffee stain that was creeping up Alison's arm.

"What do you think, Sherlock?" Alison said, in a slight mocking tone.

Alex's hands found their way to her temples, rubbing them as she gave another sigh. "Fine, I'll tell you."

Alison leant forward and pricked her ears intently. She couldn't believe she had actually cracked Alex.

Alex closed her eyes and began to chew on her thumb nail. "It was last night, after Dave had dumped me... ."

Flashback
Last Night, Joe's Bar, CA

"Joe, give me another one," Alex instructed the owner of the bar as she drained the last drops of umpteenth her beer.

"You sure?" he asked, well aware of how many she had already finished.

"Yeah. I've never been surer of anything," she said, her words slightly slurred.

"Alright then," Joe answered, opening another bottle and handing it to her, not assured.

She thanked him and raised the bottle to her lips. She took a swig from it and then set it sown, staring at the amber coloured liquid inside. "You know what my problem is?" she asked Joe, looking up at him.

"What?" he asked, wiping the inside of a glass.

"Men!" she said, pointing a finger at him. "You all are chauvinistic jerks who think with your pants."

"Yeah, we are, aren't we?" A voice to her left said.

"Finally, a man who admits it," she said, not looking at him.

"Yeah, I know." Joe said, putting on a falsetto. "Men are such assholes!!" Alex looked up at him and flipped him off.

"So, why are you convinced men are so terrible?" the man to her left said.

She looked up at him. He looked so familiar, yet she couldn't place him. Of course that could do with the fact that she was already half-drunk. "You lie," she said bluntly. "You tell a woman you love them just to get into their pants, and then when they've put out, you dump them."

He regarded her with a look of slight surprise. "And you think all men are like this?" he asked, surveying her with his unusually blue eyes.

"Well, not all men. Only half of you. Then the next half of that are jerks without feelings who don't care who or what you do as long as you get your way. Then, the small few left over are basically perfect, but you never meet them, as they are just a figment of the imagination."

The man looked at Joe, who mimed drinking a bottle of something and then the man nodded. "Well," he said, leaning onto the bar, "Why don't I buy you a drink to apologize for some of our many mistakes?"

She snorted. "It's not up to you to apologize for the misfortunes of our species."

He laughed slightly. "I know," hHe said knowingly, nodding his head. "But it'll make me feel better if I do."

Alex shook her head, laughing quietly. Then she looked up at him, nodding. "Yeah, OK."

"You sound like you need something strong," he said, looking at her.

She nodded. "Definitely."

He looked up at Joe. "Two tequilas," he said.

As the minutes passed, the two drank shot after shot of the liquid, neither keeping a tab of how much. As they swallowed more and more, they each got more giddy and reckless. To Joe, who was watching them, it appeared that their innocent drunken flirting was turning into something more serious. He was therefore not surprised when he saw them both lean in and lock lips. He shook his head and went back to doing his inventory.

"Cya Joe!" the barman heard them say. He looked up. The pair was leaving the bar, Tre with his arm slung over Alex's shoulders. They were laughing. He saluted to them and turned back to his work, shaking his head slightly. He knew they would have more than one regret the next morning.

End Flashback

Alison whistled. This was a new story to her, but it did make sense. "So," she said, looking at Alex, who had sunk her head into her arms. "How was it? Was it good?"

Alex looked up. Her gaze darted from Alison to the ceiling and to various spots of the kitchen. At long last, she bit her lip. "It was good," she said, a small smile arising on her features. "Very good." She had hoped that would be enough to suffice Alison, but she was mistaken.

"How good? Best, medium or worst you've ever had?"

Alex sighed. She thought on how to give her answer. She looked up at Alison.
"Remember Joey? And that every time you slept together, you were practically bouncing off the walls?" Alison nodded eager for more. "Well, like that good."

Alison's mouth opened, half in shock, half in amazement. "You are so lucky!!!"

Alex shrugged. "I guess," she murmured, lifting her feet to her chair and hugging her knees to her chest.

"You guess... ?" Alison asked. She couldn't believe Alex saying this, as she normally liked to brag about something as big as this.

"Yeah," Alex answered, staring at her knees. "Not that it's ever going to happen, but what if I see him again? He's going to think that I'm such a slut, and I don't really want that."

Alison shook her head. "Alex, he will not. You're so far from a slut."

Alex made a noise of recognition, halfway between a sigh and a snort. "Thanks. But seriously, I got drunk and slept with him without even asking his name!" she shook her head. "It's just hard to believe I did something like this."

Alison screwed up her face. "Alex, shit happens. Don't worry. Best case, he forgets you or you never see him again. Worst case, he remembers you and thinks you're a slut. But so what? It's not like you're ever going to see him again. Or are you?" she added, looking at Alex with renewed curiosity.

Alex shook her head. "I don't know. I left the house without saying anything."

Alison did not believe Alex was saying this. "House? You were at his HOUSE? You KNOW where he LIVES? Oh. My. God!!! God must love me today!! Were Mike and Billie there?" she asked, tone wild with anticipation.

Alex shrugged. "I don't know," she said, rising and walking to the sink. "I got up, got dressed, and left."

This time Alison was definitely shocked. "What the hell is WRONG with you?!?!" she said, voice rising as she also stood. "You're supposed to get breakfast before you leave! That's how you figure out if you like them or if they like you! That's how Rick and I started dating!!" Alex had so much to learn. "One drunken night with a breakfast turned into a two year relationship!"

Alex rubbed her eyes. She had not wanted to go into this much detail. "I was too embarrassed!! Anyway, it's not like he wanted me to stay," she added in an undertone.

But Alison had heard the afterthought. "How do you know he didn't want you to stay?" she asked. "Did you ask him?"

Alex shook her head. "No. But I didn't need to. I mean, he's Tre Cool. He can sleep with whoever he wants. Why would he want to continue a relationship with me?"

Alison sighed. The conversation was not going how she wanted it to. "You don't give yourself enough credit. You're a young, beautiful, smart woman, and you're masses of fun to be with. Why wouldn't Tre want to be with you? What's not to love?"

"Because Tre could do so much better than me. He doesn't want someone like me," Alex argued, wanting to drop the subject.

"Alex, Tre Cool can't do any better than you. You're as good as they get. Trust me," she added as Alex gave her a look of disbelief. "Say you'll go and see him again."

"I can't," Alex's voice was firm.

"But why not?" Alison asked. She obviously thought Alex was crazy.

"Because I could get totally humiliated. And in front of people I've admired for years."

"Who fucking cares?!" Alison asked, voice rising again. "Look, I'll even come with you so I can give them a mouthful if they insult you."

Alex snorted. "Come off it. You just want to meet Green Day."

Alison made a face at Alex, though she was kind of hoping to meet Green Day. "I do not. Just because I love them, doesn't mean I won't go off at them."

"Alison, I am not going to see him," Alex's voice was hard and firm. "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. If it is, I'll see him again someday. But that is not likely to happen. Just give up on this because I've made up my mind."

Alison nodded. She hated giving up on this, but she knew Alex meant business. "Alright," she said, nodding.

"Good," Alex walked from the window and began to clean up the mess on the table. "Thank you," she added quietly under her breath.

"You're welcome," Alison said traces of disappointment in her voice.

The two friends looked at each other. They smiled. They knew it would all be fine.