Not Just Any Whatsername

Alex gulped and swallowed excess amounts of air, trying to regain her composure. She could feel her knees ready to give way from under her. She managed to stumble over to a chair and sit down before she did collapse. "Uh... H-hi," she said, closing her eyes as she inwardly scolded herself for sounded so much like a dumb fuck.

"How you been?" he asked her, sounding completely at ease. Well of course he is, you stupid retard. You're normal to him. You're not the famous drummer calling an ordinary chick!! She mentally gave herself a slap on the hand. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of her conscience.

"Uh, not too bad, not too bad. What about you?" she said, still trying to keep herself from hanging up.

"Yeah, I've been good. Dyed my hair again yesterday," came the reply, the latter of the sentence uttered as an afterthought.

"Really?" Alex asked, her voice mingled with curiosity. "What colour?"

"Green," was the answer that came through the earpiece of the phone. Alex giggled softly.

"Inventive," she said, causing Tre to smile, although he knew she couldn't see him. "What made you do it that colour?" she asked him, twirling the cord of the phone around her fingers.

"Just felt like it.," he said in a matter of fact tone.

She giggled again. "Right," she said, nodding her head a little.

She could hear him begin to laugh a little.

"Hey," he said, suddenly ceasing his laughter. "Are you busy tonight?"

Alex immediately stopped toying with the chord of the phone, his words shocking her and causing her to go limp against the wall. Her mouth suddenly went dry; all sources of moisture somehow being cut off from her mouth. For maybe, the third time in her life, she was rendered speechless.

"Alex?" his voice came through the earpiece again, lifting her from the trancelike state she had entered.

"Wha-? Oh sorry," she said, shaking her head, clearing all thoughts that she had allowed to enter her mind. "Uh, no. I'm not doing anything tonight, unless I made some plans with Allie that I've already forgotten."

He laughed again, amused at how she was so carefree about her social calendar. "Do you like...mini-golf?" he asked her, as she began to relax again, her heart returning to a normal speed.

"Mini-golf?" she said, her voice rising in question. Laughing slightly, she continued. "No. I don't play mini-golf anymore." Shaking her head slightly, she smiled to herself, biting her bottom lip.

"Why not?" he asked her slightly surprised at the tone of her voice, which was slightly annoyed, slightly scared and slightly amused, all at the same time.

"Because last time I went, Alison locked me in one of those stupid novelty things that get in the way of you getting the fucking ball in the fucking hole thing," Alex said, her tone rising in annoyance. "And don't even think about making some sex joke," Sse added quickly as she heard the words she had said.

"Too easy anyway," Tre said, his laugh coming through the phone. "Why did she lock you in there though?" he inquired, snorting slightly after his words were uttered.

"To cut a long story short, now runs whenever she sees a golf club," Alex said bluntly, cutting her sentence short. She laughed softly, beginning to twist the phone cord between her fingers again.

"Okay, no golfing...what about bowling? You don't have any irrational fears of bowling balls or anything?" he said, his tone becoming a mock as he ended the sentence.

"Funny," she stated dryly as he began to laugh again. "And no, I'm not afraid of bowling balls, bowling pins or the arcade games or whatever else you can think of that we may run into at a bowling alley," she continued, as though she was explaining the situation to a child, which on some part, she was.

"Does that mean you're accepting my invitation on a date then?"

Silence, awkward silence filled the moments that followed that question. Alex's breathing had returned to quick, silent breaths that were almost like pants. She didn't know how to respond. The idea of him actually asking her out had stunned her and thoughts were not being sent properly around her brain, probably due to the lack of oxygen.

She swallowed, trying to return the moisture to her mouth. "Uh, um..." she began, licking and biting at her bottom lip. "I guess it does. On three conditions," she said, examining her black painted nails as she spoke.

"Three conditions, eh?" he asked her, doubt threading through his voice, as though he was regretting his choice in dinner dates. "Why does this worry me? You don't seem that high maintenance..."

Alex bit her lip, trying to keep herself from bursting out into laughter. "Well, I kind of am.," she said, smirking to herself. "Condition one: I don't have to wear a dress, heels or more make-up than I usually do."

He laughed again, something he seemed to be doing a lot in the company of Alex. "Done. What are conditions two and three?"

"Condition two," Alex continued, beginning to trace the outline of a magnet she kept on her fridge. "You don't be all typical male, thinking you have to bring me flowers or any shit that I have to pretend I give a damn about, but really want to die a painful death. And three, don't expect me to be all girly, only ordering a salad or some other form of rabbit food or get worried about breaking a nail or something like that."

He gave another hearty laugh. "Deal, but I have one condition as well," he said, putting on a mock serious tone for the latter of the sentence. Without waiting for an answer, he continued. "Don't be a girl and cry when I beat you at bowling."

Now it was Alex's turn to laugh. "Don't get too sure of yourself," she warned him, her tone a slight sing-song.

"Oh, I'm not," he said his voice full of certainty. "Anyway, where do you live? I'm at least planning on being 'gentlemanly' enough to pick you up," he continued a slight teasing tone in his voice when he said gentlemanly.

"Apartment twelve, building seven, Dunmore street. Should I send an escort, or can you find it on your own?" Alex answered her voice dry with sarcasm.

"Oh, hardy har har, very funny. Aren't we quite the little comedienne?" Tre shot back, unable to think of a smarter comeback.

"I'd like to think so," Alex stated bluntly, fighting the urge to crack up laughing.

"Oh, the girl has an attitude. I like it." He sounded as though he was about to say something else, but she heard his name being through the earpiece of the phone.

"Shit. I've gotta go. I'll be there at 5:30. Be ready. Cya." And then the phone line went dead.

"Random," Alex said. Then, with a shrug of her shoulders, she placed the phone back on its cradle.

She sat down at her kitchen table, toying with the drawstring on her Nightmare Before Christmas pyjama pants. Twisting it around her fingers, she thought about his parting words. Then, the realization hit her like a drumstick to the head. She had just talked to the best drummer in the world. She had made him laugh. She was going on a date with him.

"Aw, fuck."

"Alex! Alex!" a voice came ringing through her apartment, accompanied by the loud sounds of a fist connecting with the wooden door.

"Wait a minute!!" Alex's voice answered back, a slight tone of annoyance creeping into it.

Hurrying through her apartment to the door, Alex slipped the lid back on her eyeliner, throwing it onto her couch as she answered the door.

"What do you want?"

Standing on opposite side of the mesh door, was Alison, her blonde hair falling out of its loose ponytail and onto her face. Her cheeks were red and flushed; she had obviously taken the stairs and not the elevator.

"My key doesn't work anymore!!" Alison cried out pitifully, tucking her askew fringe behind her ears. Pulling her black and white striped hooded jacket closer around her, her hand circled over the doorknob and she attempted to open it, but found that her attempt was in vain.

"That would be because I had my locks changed dumb ass, and this time, I'm not giving you the key," Alex said, as a way of explanation, when Alison looked at her, her eyes full of question.

Alison's eyes narrowed in to slits of fury, her mouth curling up into a snarl. "So not cool!" she said, pointing at her dark haired friend. Then, leaning against the door, her frame seemed to relax, as she turned to face her friend.

"You wanna go out, get some beers and then laugh at people with funny hats?" Alison asked hopefully.

Alex sighed, but laughing inwardly at the stupidity of her friend. "Normally I'd love to, but I have to be somewhere tonight." She said, carefully avoiding the subject of where she was actually going.

"Where?" Alison questioned, looking at the shorter person in front of her. Her face had taken on a look of genuine interest.

"Uh..." Alex licked her lips, hoping Alison would not sense her discomfort. She searched her brain, trying to think of a place, one that wouldn't sound fake. "Uh, going out with the guys from work."

"Your work friends?" the tall blonde scowled. She didn't really like the people Alex worked with. She found them selfish and shallow, and they liked hip-hop and R&B music.

"Yes," Alex replied to her friend, giving her reproachful look. Although, she was internally breathing a giant sigh of relief. "Don't bitch about them. You know I don't like you doing that."

Alison made a face, her nose crinkling up in disapproval. "Fine. But can I at least stay here while you go out? I forgot to pay my cable this month."

Alex snorted, leaning against the door. "No. Remember, my TV that had the cable on it was the one you put your foot through. And I also don't want you here alone," she said to her friend, going to close the door. "Go hang with Ian or someone. I do NOT want to see you here when I get back."

Then, blowing a kiss to Alison, she closed the door in her face.

"Bitch," Alison said to herself as the door closed, leaving her out in the hallway.

***

Alex walked back to her room, chuckling slightly to herself. She sat down on her bed, wrinkling her flying cow's duvet, as she looked for her black converse high-tops. Her floor was scattered with clothes and shoes, a large Ramones poster dangerously close to falling off the wall. The top of her wooden dresser was covered in various forms of makeup; eyeliners, mascara's, eye shadows and lip glosses.

Her eyes scanned the floor, searching for the shoes she wanted. She couldn't see them anywhere. Standing up, she turned, hoping they would suddenly pop out if she looked closely. They didn't.

She walked to the area near where her guitar was resting on its stand. She pulled the t-shirt that was hanging off the tuning pegs towards her, smelling the arm pits. Wincing, she threw it over her shoulder, continuing her quest for the shoes. Peering behind her purple guitar, she tightened the black studded belt that was holding her purple jeans up. The shoes were nowhere to be found.

Alex threw herself down onto the floor so that she was eye level with the things that littered the area. Crawling in a commando like fashion, she stuck her head under the bed. Sitting right in front of her face, lying at absurd angles, were her chucks.

"Finally," she muttered, grabbing them and rolling out from under the bed.

She sat on her bed again, wrinkling the duvet even more. Pulling on her left shoe, she checked her watch. It was 5:25. Groaning slightly, she tightened her printed laces. She had about five minutes left to quickly do her hair.

Standing up, she walked to her bathroom, tugging her hair out of it's ponytail as she did so. She stood before her mirror, examining her two-toned hair. She had straightened it the day before, so it wasn't too curly or frizzy. She pulled out a comb, and running it through her thick hair, she pulled it into two low pigtails.

Humming 'London Calling' under her breath, she smoothed out the bunches, arranging it so that the pink streaks were visible. She fluffed out her side fringe, only to flatten it down again.

Alex turned to the side, hand resting on her diaphragm. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Exhaling, she examined herself critically, looking for any major faults. She had decided to wear a black Ramones t-shirt, tight fitting purple jeans and her converse.

No... she thought to herself. It doesn't look too bad.

She bent over her bed, looking for her black canvas messenger bag. Fumbling around under her bed, her hand brushed over an unfamiliar object. Curiously, she pulled it out.

Leaning onto her oversized Marvin the Martian doll, she opened the small box she had found. She peered inside, her nose being hit with the familiar scent of Lynx aftershave.

Inside the box was a silver charm in the shape of a horse shoe, hanging from a thin silver chain.

She gave a small gasp of surprise. She hadn't seen this object since she had moved into this apartment. She hadn't wanted to see it. She wound the chain around her fingers, letting the charm dangle over her thumb.

Suddenly, she heard a buzz coming from the intercom near her door. Dropping the necklace, she looked at her watch again. It was 5:35.

She jumped up, grabbing the messenger bag from the end of her bed. She ran out the door of her room, grabbing her red and black hooded jacket from the chair near her door as she did so.

She would get back to the necklace later.

"Graveyard here, Bones speaking," she said, pressing the button on her intercom with one of her black painted nails.

"Yeah, I was buried a few days ago, and there's a problem. I'm still alive," Tre's voice came through the electronic system.

She smiled to herself as she pulled on her jacket. "Well, I'll send someone down to inspect the body," she answered back, putting on a mock serious tone.

"Naughty...I like it..." she heard him say, trailing off as she opened the door of her apartment. Laughing, she let herself out, locking the doors behind her.

She quickly walked down the stairs, zipping up her jacket. Swearing to herself for not choosing an apartment building that had an elevator, she jumped down the last few stairs, slamming into the door that led into the building. As she did so, the door opened, causing her to fall out into the street.

"Damn door...Why don't they get one that opens INWARDS?" she grumbled to herself, dusting her jeans off.

"Maybe because they don't expect people to come falling through the doorway?" a voice said from above her, the tall figure blocking the sun that was pouring onto her.

She looked up. Tre was standing there, pulling his sunglasses from his eyes. She brought her hands together, clapping slowly.

"Well done, coz it really takes a modern day Einstein to figure that out." Alex rolled her eyes, brushing her fringe out of her eyes.

He gave her a bemused look, extending a hand to help her up. She took it, mumbling thanks.

"That really was quite an exit," he said to her, pulling his sunglasses on again.

She grunted, looking over her shoulder at her jean clad butt, inspecting for dirt. Deciding it was clear, she shrugged. "I guess I don't exactly do things the 'conventional' way," she said, pulling a pair of oversized sunglasses from her messenger bag. Putting them on, she smiled at Tre and shrugged again. "So where we going?"

***

"Size eight please," Alex said to the man behind the counter, reaching for the shoes he handed her. "So, what, you've never tried sushi?" she asked Tre, turning around to face him.

He shrugged. "It's raw fish. Could never bring myself to taste it.," he said, picking up his own shoes and walking to their allotted lane.

Shaking her head, she smiled and followed him. She sat down, pulling her shoes on and lacing them, smiling at Tre's vivid green hair.

"You ready to get your ass handed to ya?" he stood up, cracking his knuckles and stretching slightly.

"Uh, yeah...but shouldn't we go somewhere private for that?" Alex said, tipping her head to the side and twisting a few strands of hair around her fingers. Laughing, she walked over to the rack of bowling balls and began weighing them.

"Nice," he said, following her, looking for the weight numbers on the bowling balls. Carefully selecting one, he held it up, inspecting it in the light. "I never expected a girl to have a mind as dirty as mine."

She looked up and winked. "Live with it." Smiling, she picked up a ball and walked back towards the bench.

***

"Gutter ball!" Alex laughed as Tre's ball went into the gutter, the third one that had done so.

He turned, giving her a glare. "You laugh now..." he said, pointing at her, his tone threatening. "But just you wait."

"Ok, this is my last bowl, and I'm thirty points ahead of you. It's physically impossible for you to win." She grinned. "How does it feel losing to a girl?" She stuck her lower lip out, pouting at him, putting on a fake baby voice.

Sticking his tongue out, he sat down on the hard plastic bench, folding his arms. "You suck," he told her matter-of-factly.

She laughed, picking up the bowling ball she had been using. "So do you."

Walking over to the lane, she carefully adjusted her hand position. Taking a big swing back, she almost threw the ball down the centre of the lane. The ball went slightly to the left, Alex leaned to the left. The ball veered to the right, Alex leaned to the right. The ball hit the front of the pins, knocking them over.

"Oh yeah!!" Alex pumped her fist, and then started doing her victory dance, in which she was pretending to circle a horizontally held cane at waist level. Then suddenly, she stopped, brushed her fringe out of her eyes and sat back down next to Tre. "Your turn," she said to him, grinning.

Smiling to himself over her abrupt change of moods, he stood up and grabbed his green bowling ball, determined to finish the game with dignity. He walked over to the start of the lane, looking from the ball to the pins, as if he was calculating the distance. Crouching down, he held the ball in front of his face, taking careful aim. He rose slightly, then swung back and sent the ball flying. It sailed down the lane and made contact with the pin that was at the front of the triangular formation. He turned around to face Alex as the pins were pushed down the hole at the end of the lane, grinning at his recent success of a strike.

***

"Corona or VB?" Tre asked Alex as they settled down at a table in front of the bowling alley's café.

"You can drink here?" she asked curiously. She had never been to a bowling alley where they allowed you to drink.

"Duh. It's Saturday night, there are no kids here. What else would you think? They have adults only nights here," he explained to her, as though he was talking to a five year old, explaining that one plus one DID equal two.

"Corona then," she said, raising an eyebrow.

He stuck his tongue out at her. Then, faking a storm off, he went to the counter, and appeared to be ordering food and their alcoholic drinks.

He returned a few minutes later, balancing the drinks and a large plate of fries in his hands. Managing to lay the fries down on the table, he set a Corona before Alex, its lid already taken off.

"So," he said, sitting down opposite her, folding his legs under him. Stuffing a handful of fries in his mouth, he began to speak again. "Where'd you grow up?"

"What is this? Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" she asked him, slightly perturbed by his question as she sipped at her drink.

"Well, we're on a date, we've slept together, and we're gonna get to know each other even if it kills us. Now, I ask you where you grew up coz your accent isn't from around here," Tre reported, his mouth full of food, giving Alex a full view of him beginning to digest his food.

"Well done braniac, it really took a genius to figure out that my accent isn't from Berkeley. But, if you must know, I grew up in Australia. I moved here about three years ago," she said nodding slightly. "What about you?"

"Mendocino Mountains. Dad moved us out there when he came back from Vietnam," Tre said, not looking too concerned as he shovelled more fries in his mouth. "It was us and my two sisters. You have any brothers or sisters?"

"Yeah, a brother and a sister. I was the youngest, my sister was 16 years older than me and my brother was 18 years older than me. We weren't really that close." She said, giving him enough information to stall the next few questions. "You?"

"I was the youngest too," he offered, moving a single fry around the platter. "There wasn't too much of a difference though. Three years and five years."

They sat in silence for a few awkward moments as the pair sipped at their drinks and ate the fries.

"So...How old were you when you lost your virginity?" Tre asked with such casualness, he could've been inquiring her birthday.

Alex choked on the fry she had just swallowed, it catching in her throat on its way down. She started coughing, sounding as though she was about to cough up a lung. "Huh?!" she asked, her breath and composure slowly returning.

"What? It's not like I'm asking you your preferred sex position or anything. That comes later on," he said, shrugging.

"I was 15, almost 16. I was legal in Australia," she said, shrugging at his look of surprise and curiosity. "What about you, were you legal?" she teased slightly.

"Not in California. I was 16," he said, blushing slightly. "It's 18 in this state."

"I'm surprised you even waited that long," she said, giggling, downing more of her drink.

"Yeah, so were my friends. They were joking about how my mind was so dirty, I could rival the founder of Playboy."

"Well, I agree with them. You two would've probably been bum chums or something." She laughed, downing more of her drink.

"Hey, where's the weirdest place you've ever done it?" Tre suddenly asked, breaking the hush that had fallen over them.

Alex, who had just finished the remains of her Corona, ended up spitting it all over the table. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry," she spluttered out, alcohol dripping from her face.

"You have liquids...uh...dripping from your nose and stuff," he said, gesturing around his own nose and handing her a tissue.

She took them, wiping at her nose. "What kind of a question was that?" she asked him, dabbing at the front of her shirt.

He shrugged. "What? I'm known for being very upfront about things."

"I'll say," she muttered under her breath, checking her shirt for anymore stains.

"You gonna answer my question or not?" he asked, draining the last drops of his drink.

She rolled her eyes, looking behind her and biting her lip. "You know," she whispered, leaning in a little. "There's another reason I hate mini golf courses."

His eyes widened in shock. "You mean you...?" he asked, sputtering a little on his last words.

"Yeah. It was about 2 years ago. Don't ask for details," she warned him, poking a finger threateningly at him.

"Oh, gosh damn it!" he said in mock anger, banging a fist down on the table. "How did you know?"

She stood up, walking towards the bar. "I just did," she whispered, bending over to reach his ear.

He turned as she walked away, not bothering to hide the fact he was openly staring at her. How does one do it on a golf course? He wondered to himself, shaking his head slightly. He was still lost in thought as Alex came back, holding two Vodka Cruisers.

"So what about you, Mr. Cool?" she asked him, passing him the blue beverage. "Where's the weirdest place you've ever done it?"

He sipped some of his cruiser, his face wrinkling up in thought. "Uh, I think it may have been...on a pool table...in New York, I think." He shrugged. "But I don't really know."

"So, you've done it in that many weird places? Geez, I didn't think you were that slutty," she marveled, taking a swig or her pink coloured cruiser.

"Yeah, well, it's not that shocking once you think about it."

They sat in silence for awhile, drinking their 'lolly water's' until the bottles were empty.

"Wanna get outta here?" Tre asked her as he gulped down the last of his drink, shaking his head slightly at the taste.

"Only if we can get ice-cream," she said, tracing the neck of her bottle, grinning at him.

"Fine," he said, cocking an eyebrow to his vivid green hairline. He stood up, walking to her side of the table. "M'lady?" he said, offering his arm out to her.

"Good sir," she said, pretending to blush as she accepted his arm.

They walked out of the alley, arm in arm, pretending they had a posh air about them.

***

"I'll have a double scoop of mint choc-chip. With extra sprinkles," Tre said to the man running the ice-cream cart after careful deliberation.

"Yes sir, and for the lady?"

"Um...A double scoop of double choc-chip please."

"Very good now," the man replied, bustling about, filling in their required orders.

He handed them to Tre, along with his change.

"Thanks."

The pair began to walk along the sidewalk, occasionally pointing out what a beautiful night it was, or how delicious the ice-creams were. At one point, as they were walking along the boardwalk next to the beach, the white sand glinting in the moonlight, Tre slipped his hand into Alex's, lacing his fingers with hers. She smiled to herself and tightened the grip, swallowing the last of her cone.

They walked along the beach, slipping their shoes off as they padded across the soft sand, talking about the most random things, Tre entertaining them with tour stories.

"...So yeah, this one time, I had convinced Mike and Billie that we absolutely had to play that game from Billy Madison, where you light a bag of dog shit on fire, and when we had left it on the doorstep, Billie, the idiot who had the lighter, lit my pants on fire, so I ended up with shit all over my converse."

Alex laughed as she imagined Tre jumping around, dog pooh trailing from his shoes. All too soon, they approached a familiar apartment block.

"Well, uh, I guess this is goodnight," she whispered to him, standing on the edge of the doorway which made her see eye to eye with him.

"Yeah, I guess it is," he whispered back, looking straight across into her hazel eyes. Then, acting on an impulse more than anything, he leaned over and planted a kiss on her lips.

Her eyes widened in shock as she felt his lips press against hers. She closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around his neck. Surprisingly, she felt herself melt into his arms, feeling that storybook 'fireworks' erupt behind her eyes.

She felt Tre's tongue run against her bottom lip and she willingly opened her mouth, letting him enter. Suddenly, she reached behind her, opening the door which she had previously unlocked.

She backed into the hallway, still not breaking the kiss. He followed her, kicking the door shut behind him.

They continued like this, occasionally backing into the walls or tripping over each others feet.

They backed up the stairs, still locked in a fierce battle with each others mouths. They reached Alex's floor and she fumbled for her keys in her pocket. Breaking the kiss, she struggled to unlock the door, Tre's arms around her waist, his lips attached to her neck.

Finally kicking the door open, they resumed their heated kiss. Alex tugged on the bottom of Tre's t-shirt, her fingers lingering on his skin. She pulled it over his head, tossing it aside as he began to do the same to her shirt.

They stumbled into Alex's bedroom, clothes being discarded in the hallway along their journey.

The door slammed behind them, leaving the stench of question, excitement and thrill hanging in the air.