I wasn't Special Then. What Makes me Now?

Jessica's P.O.V

There I was, in the rain. I stared out into space as the cold drops made contact with my skin, making it paler than usual. I walked back to Brian's car. I sat in the car seat, almost lifeless. "How could this happen to me? I made my mistakes. I’ve got no where to run, The night goes on as I’m fading away. I’m sick of this life, I just wanna scream How could this happen to me?" I sang softly, my voice barely a whisper. How could this happen to me? Soon my tears became those of anger. I've been such a good person. What the fuck did I do to derseve this shit? Did I accidently stepped on an ant? Did I mash the ground too hard? Why, God why? Why fucking why? Then I just lost it. I screamed so loud, letting out all my anger, all my frustration, all my hurt, I just let out everything. Suddenly, my phone started ringing. Looking at the caller i.d., I saw that it was Brian.

"Yeah?" I croaked. I closed my eyes, praying that Brian didn't ask about anything.

"Um, Jess? We're almost finished eating, can you come get us?," Brian said.

"Uhuh," I said and hung up. Inside I was freaking out. They can't see me, I'd just receive some unwanted pity and sympathy. I searched Brian's glove compartment and saw exactly what I was hoping for. Sunglasses. I put it on and drove back. I didn't see anyone outside so I had to step out of the car. With the sunglasses on, I knocked on the door. James, Zack's dad, opened the door.

"Hello again Jess, just come in for a second. Jimmy's just finishing up his food. Do you want any?" he asked. I shook my head and sat on the couch, where Val, Zina and Leana were.

"Hey Jess, why don't you take out those sunglasses?" Val asked. I gulped and shook my head again.

"Oh come on," Leana said and took the shades from my eyes. Immediately, I closed my eyes, looked down and had one of my hands covering my eyes. "Jess? Show me your eyes," Leana demanded. Slowly I looked up and opened my eyes. The girls gasped and my puffy eyes that were no doubt still red.

"What the fuck did my ass of a brother do?" Zina asked. I shook my head.

"Don't bother," I said, my voice still a bit hoarse. Suddenly, everyone else came into the room.

"What did I miss?" Jimmy asked. I shook my head again and grabbed the sunglasses, putting them on. Johnny's phone rang. A few minutes later, he hung up.

"That was Zacky, he said he has some really great news to share with us so he;s coming here," Johnny said, looking at me. I looked at my feet, thinking of how foolish my appeareance probably looked as I had on sunglasses. Indoors.

Minutes later, Zacky came in holding Gena's hand. Both of them sported happy looks on their face. Zacky raised Gena's left hand high, "We're engaged!" Everyone was silent and then the faked cheers started. I heard someone curse behind me and I saw Zina.

"He's such a dumbfuck," she muttered. I nodded, agreeing. Unable to take this anymore, I went to the kitchen.

"Well well, looks like you lost," Gena said from behind me.

"Zacky's love was never a game! You just played with him. Like you actually love him," I said, with as much hate in my voice I could muster. She laughed.

"But you don't have him, don't you? You're so pathetic. Can you imagine how happily ever after we will be while you're going to drown in your own self pity? I can. It's amazing," she said.

"How can you be such a bitch?"

"By talking. Now why don't you do everyone a super big favour, and just get the fuck out of our lives? It''ll be easier for the wedding," I slowly backed away from Gena. Thankfully, I still had Brian's keys so I slowly walked out the Bakers' back door.