Calling Carter.

“Nothing important,” he said, looking troubled. I could see from his face that it wasn’t a good thing.

I held his face in both hands, forcing him to look at me. “Tell me? Please?” I asked.

He took a deep shuddering breath. “First, I need to apologise.” He closed his eyes tightly for a second. “I didn’t even notice you were gone,” he admitted.

(CARTER)
I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t take care of both of these girls. Kala was gone, taken by Caidan. But Si… I couldn’t bear it if I lost her. I decided I needed to tell her how I got the scar on my arm, like I said I would when she fell off the cliff. That memory made me shudder. Silah looked worried.

“It’s okay,” she said quietly, eyes downcast. “I think I would have preferred that,” she looked up, biting her lip. “Are you as worried as I am?” She asked.

I nodded. She hugged me, because she knew I needed it. Jesus, she was being the strong one here. This was all messed up. It was okay for Kala to look up to her, but me? I wasn’t so sure.

Adam spoke from the other side of the room. “Shouldn’t Daniel and Luc be here?”

I shrugged. I didn’t know. Wait.
How could I not know? What was wrong with me? I felt lost and spaced out, as if I’d taken some kind of drug to lose my bearings in the world.

“Okay. You know how you asked me how I got the scar on my arm?”

“Yeah?”

“I got in a fight. With this real huge motherfucker. He said something about Kala and I went off my head,” I shook my head with a bitter recollection. “Didn’t know he was best mates with a real sick bastard. After our fight they beat the shit out of me and ended up hanging me by my arms from a tree with barbed wire.” I tried to explain quickly and efficiently, without feeling.

Silah looked absolutely horrified for a second, then resolutely gritted her teeth. “What happened next?” She asked quietly. Her voice was almost calm, only just shaking, but she was outraged. Her hands were in fists even as she hugged me and she was trembling.

“We ended up moving,” I remembered softly.

She nodded in understanding. A thought flashed across her face, one that caused her pain, but she shut it away. I felt a ripping pain through my chest as I realised she was withdrawing from me.

“Si?” I asked, so quietly I wasn’t sure she’d heard it.

She looked at me. “Yeah?”

“What were you thinking just then?”

Her face hardened. “It’s nothing.”

I put a finger under her chin. “Fibber.”

That irritated her, like I knew it would. She hated being called a liar.

She sighed. “Fine,” she muttered, “but I don’t want to…” She trailed off.

(SILAH)

How was I supposed to say this? That the thought of him moving again practically – no, it did – broke my heart? I didn’t want him to leave.

Because I loved him.

But a nagging question came to my attention.

Does he love you?

I looked up at him; saw the worry in his eyes, saw pain that I may have caused. I decided I would not be a hero. I took a deep breath.

“I don’t want you to leave, Carter. Ever. I can’t take that thought.”

I wasn’t sure how he was going to react until he tightened his arms around me, and I felt him smile.

“Really?” He asked breathlessly.

“Yeah,” I squeaked, cause I was fast running out of air, “really. Let me breathe, please?” He loosened his grip only enough so I could breathe, then picked me up and swung me around.

He hugged me again, then kissed my nose.

“I love you, Silah.”