The Words I Thought I Would Never Say

"I have had it with your shit Mike! I've had it!" I screamed at my scummy boyfriend as I threw the new cd I had bought for him right at his head.

"Jade! I… what are you doing here?" At this moment I wished for nothing more than for him to be dead. He frantically climbed out of the bed leaving the blonde bimbo laying there looking confused. I grabbed his pants and threw them at him so hard that his belt buckle hit him in the family jewels.

Good. He deserves that. I thought.

"I hope you and your fucking slut are happy because you'll never see me again you lying son of a bitch!" I grabbed the nearest thing off of the table next to me, which happened to be his cell phone, and chucked it at him as hard as I could. It smacked against him hard and he let out a yell. I had to give the other girl credit, she was keeping quiet. It proved she was smart.
My anger had now completely consumed me. I was barely aware of my surroundings much less my self control. He deserved everything that was coming to him and that was all the hell I could muster up right now. I continued to grab every object that I possibly could and threw it in his direction. I didn’t know how many things actually hit him but I really didn't care. I wanted him to have everything from broken bones to erectile dysfunction so that he'd never be happy again.

"I guarantee you Mike, after tonight you will never see me again. So you can go back to living on your own with no income and no family to help support you. I hope you're fucking happy." My growl was menacing as I gave him a final glare daring him to utter another word to me.
He made the smart choice and remained quiet as I left the apartment to go back to my own. And here I thought I would go surprise him and see if he wanted to go to dinner. You could only imagine my surprise when I walked in on him fucking some other slut. Two years wasted. Gone down the drain by his own doing.

My eyes clouded over with tears as I went to pick up the only other joy in my life. I pulled up into my friend Emma's apartment and knocked on the door. By this point the salty tears were already rolling down my face and were occasionally being wiped away as my hair whipped back and forth due to the cool San Francisco breeze that decided to grace us tonight.

Emma opened the door and instantly took in my disheveled appearance. "Oh my gosh. Jade what happened?" I practically fell into the apartment as she wrapped her arms around me in a comforting hug.

"He cheated on me Ems. He cheated." I sobbed as she guided me to the couch. She told me to stay put and that she would go get me a cup of coffee from the kitchen. I brought my hoodie covered hand up to wipe away my tears before the joy of my world decided to make an appearance. I had to stay strong.

Small feet thudded lightly across the wooden floors and I couldn’t be more thankful for my timing. I put on a smile as I stared into a reflection of my own eyes.

"Mommy, why are you sad?" The little girl ran over to me and climbed up onto the couch the best she could with only having the height of a three year old.

"Because baby, Mike gave mommy a boo-boo on my heart is all." Her blue eyes widened and because filled with sadness in the very same way that my own did.

"Can I kiss it better for you mommy?" My grin was genuine as I nodded and watched as Riley pulled up the bottom of my shirt before placing a nice wet kiss on my stomach where she thought my heart would be.

"There! All better! Now mommy no more cry."

"Thank you sweetie. Now why don't you go finish playing with your play-doh for a few minutes while I talk with Emma and then we'll go home and watch Spongebob alright?" Her eyes lit up to the size of golf balls at the mention of her favorite television show.

"Spongebob!" She jumped off of the couch making her blonde pigtails go bouncing as she went running back in the other room as fast as her little converse clad feet could carry her.

Riley was the joy of my life and without her I had a feeling I would be nothing. After struggling with depression for so long I finally had something in my life that was worth living for. It wasn't an easy road though. Riley was the result of a rape that occurred back when I was nineteen. My parents never believed me when I told them that I had been raped and they still didn't when I found out I was pregnant from it. From that day on I had lost touch with my parents. They didn't care about me. All they ever cared about was when their next trip to the Bahamas would be and who would watch me. I often got left with my aunt and uncle down in southern California up until I was old enough to watch over myself. Then they just left me on my own. Some say neglect, I say good riddance.

I guess this brings me to where Mike came in. After I found out I was pregnant I freaked out. Emma always assured me I would find the right guy and one night I happened to meet Mike. He was a fairly decent guy at the time. Had a good job and a great personality. At least, that was before he started drinking. It wasn't bad at first. He would just get sort of silly after a few beers. But then he lost his job for going in drunk. I of course, felt bad and offered to help him out. Biggest mistake of my life. Thankfully whenever I went over I always left Riley with Emma just in case things were to get out of hand, which they never did. It seemed like the more he drank though the more we argued. I wanted nothing more than for him to stop and get some help with his addiction but he always told me he was fine and didn't want anyone's help. Mike and I never lived together because I simply didn't ever want to put Riley at risk. She was too important and special for me to do something stupid like that. He knew about Riley and did like her but I just couldn’t risk anything happening.

I honestly couldn’t even begin to tell you why he cheated on me. Things weren't that bad. I don't know why it happened.

But it did.

"So what happened?" Emma questioned as she brought me out a cup of coffee that was still steaming.

"I walked in on him and some chick. I had bought him that new cd he had been asking for and was going to go ask him if he wanted to go to dinner but when I walked in they were going at it Ems! He tried to explain which we both know would have been a load of bull, and I just lost my temper and began throwing things at him. I totally lost it."

She chuckled and nodded knowingly.

"It's that infamous Sanders temper I tell you. We both know your cousin is just as bad as you are. It's clear to see where you got it from growing up." I let out a scoff knowing she was right on with that accusation.

He could definitely be worse than me at times. I'll never forget the time I went down to visit in middle school. My parents had yet again gone on vacation and I was in seventh grade at the time. He was a sophomore in high school. I remember being shocked when I walked in the door and he was sitting on the couch. My uncle was yelling at him because he had gotten suspended for getting mad at one of the football players and decided to take a baseball bat that belonged to his friend and smash the guy's car up. It ended up being fun though because he got to stay home with me all week.

"You're right about that. Well anyway, Mike and I are no longer together obviously." I let out a sniff as I took a drink of my coffee. I really needed to keep my composure for the sake of Riley.

"Stay strong Jade. There is obviously someone better out there for you. You'll find him in time and I bet he will be someone who will love Riley just as much as he loves you. That always aggravated me about Mike. He wasn't good with kids, that no good douchebag." I had to completely agree with her on that. I wanted to date a guy that would love Riley just as much as he loved me as well. If he wanted me then he also got my daughter; we were a team package.

"Thank you Ems. You're right though. I shouldn’t fret over this."

"Mommy? Can we go watch Spongebob now? I'm tired of play-doh." Riley pouted as she came into the room with colorful hands from the crafty toy she had been enjoying.

"You're tired of play-doh? Is that even possible?" She giggled as I ticked her sides gently. "Let's go wash your hands and then we'll go home alright?" She nodded enthusiastically making her pigtails bounce around.

I led her into the bathroom and stood her up on the small stool that Emma had for her. She quickly washed her hands and then jumped down before skipping back out into the living room where Emma had her small pink backpack already packed up for her.

"Thank you Auntie Emma." She told her as she helped her put it onto her back.

"You're welcome hun. Now you bee good for your mommy alright? Make sure she's happy." She whispered quietly but still loud enough that I could hear her.

"Ok." Riley whispered loudly back before she let out a small giggle.

I gave Emma a hug and thanked her for all of her help before Riley and I left to go back home.

We only lived five minutes from Emma so we were home in not time flat. As soon as I unlocked the door to our small apartment Emma went running in and sat herself right in front of the television. She grabbed the remote and pressed the power button.

"Mommy, what channel is Spongebob on again?" She questioned.

"Twenty-seven babe. It's the two and then the seven." I explained as I watched her press the correct numbers carefully. I sighed with relief as she cuddled in and took myself into the kitchen to read over the mail that I had haphazardly tossed onto the table earlier. I tossed away the junk mail and then was left with my bills. After going through them my eyes spotted a different type of letter that was addressed to me. There was no return address so it must have been from someone in the building.

I was really surprised to see it was from my landlord and that very fact worried me. As my eyes read over the note I slowly started to develop tears.

Today was certainly not shaping up to be my day.

I had to do a triple read to actually make sure that what I was reading was correct. The apartment complex was closing and everyone was having to move out. Apparently a new company had purchased the property and was wanting to demolish the complex and re-build it as luxury condos. We had two weeks to move out. Two weeks.

As if my day wasn't already bad enough.

I looked into the living room to see Riley was now lying on her stomach with her feet up in the air and her head propped up under her hands as she was laughing at Patrick as he tried to catch a jellyfish only to get stung by it.

I wish I could be in her position right now. She had nothing to worry about. There was nothing she could do. She relied on me and I could only hope that I could find a solution to this somehow.

The more I thought about all that had happened today, the more I thought the world was out to get me. None of this was even my fault and it really couldn’t be prevented in anyway. My hands gently ran over my face as I strained to figure out what I was going to do. When I looked up, my eyes met the phone that was sitting less than three feet from me. I smiled weakly at it and began to dial the number that I had had memorized since it became active.
It rang a few times and finally the gruff voice that I had been waiting to hear answered.

"Hey Matt."