The Words I Thought I Would Never Say

"Uncle Matt?" Riley asked as she came tearing out of the tent with her swim suit in her hands.

Matt was sitting with the rest of the guys in camping chairs around the fire ring that currently only had wood in it and no fire. It was still afternoon but the guys had decided to go ahead and set it up for tonight anyway. They were a bit ahead of the game I suppose. Kacie and I were occupying the picnic table and were just chatting for the most part. All eyes turned to Riley as she ran to Matt however. It was obvious what she was going to ask.

"Uncle Matt can we go swimming pretty please?" She asked as she placed her hands on his knees. Matt did a quick glance around at everyone else to make sure no one had any objections which they didn’t. He picked her up and placed her on his thigh.

"Are you sure you want to go swimming? What if the water's cold?" He teased lightly.
Riley was never one to complain about water being too cold. She would be game for anything and Matt knew this as well. He was just giving her a hard time before he gave in. "Water is never too cold! Please Uncle Matt? I really want to go float in a tube thingy." I chuckled under my breath as Kacie mouthed 'tube thingy' to me. I pointed out a box of inflatable rafts and such that was still sitting on the back end of Jimmy's truck and she nodded with realization.

"Alright babe. Why don't you go get changed and we'll all go down to the lake for a little bit." Riley let out a squeal and jumped off of Matt's lap. She landed on the ground with a thud and then took off running toward the tent that we were reluctantly sharing with Brian. Well, reluctantly on my part anyway.

I got up off of the bench and made my way over as well. She would need help tying her top. Riley insisted on getting a new bathing suit when we moved to Huntington and it just so happened she wanted a bikini. We ended up finding a very cute light blue one that had ruffled on the bottoms that she just loved. The top meanwhile was the same color and had matching bright colored flowers on them that were the same color as the ruffles. It was a cute set I must say.

When I entered the tent she was already standing there in her underwear trying to get the top tied. "Mommy I need help." She stated with a grunt. She turned around so I could tie the thick straps for her up top and buckle the small clasp on the part that went around her back.

Once I was finished she changed into her bottoms and then took a seat on her sleeping bag that was between me and the wall. I grimaced as I noticed that my sleeping bag was between her and Brian meaning I was sleeping in the middle. Joy.

I dug out my bikini as well and told Riley to be on the lookout so I could change. She nodded and continued trying to put sunscreen on by herself. I would have to help her yet again once I was changed. I didn’t want my baby to burn today.

I had already gotten my bottoms on and had just unclasped my bra when the flap to the tent opened and Brian's head poked in. My eyes widened and I let out a scream as I frantically pulled the sleeping bag out from under me to try and cover myself. Brian's eyes had widened as well as they snapped to my bare chest.

Riley seemed to sense what was going on because she leapt to her feet and ran charging at Brian's head.

"Brian! Get out! Mommy's changing! Go go go!" She screamed. She waved her arms in front of his face but it was no use; he had already gotten a free show. A smirk crossed his face as he continued to eye my chest that was now covered by my arms since the sleeping bag hadn't worked. Riley continued to scream at Brian and I just sort of sat there with my face now burning as red as a tomato. I managed to turn around so my back was facing him and with a grunt I heard Riley shove him outside.

She must have followed him because she as now lecturing him. "Brian… what's your last name?"

"Haner Jr!" I heard Jimmy yell from somewhere else meaning that the guys had all heard what was going on.

"Thanks Jimmy! Brian Haner Jr! That was so mean of you! Don't you know you don't look at girl's boobies like that? It's rude! My mommy always told me that no man should google at a woman like that. You need to say sorry to her!" I chuckled at her mishap of the word oogle and chuckled even more at the fact that she was telling Brian off.

I finally managed to get my top on but couldn't tie the strings to it. I slipped my board shorts on over my bottoms and decided I might as well face the music with this one. I held the top close to my body and unzipped the flap to the tent, face still pretty red I'd imagine. Riley was standing on the picnic table so she was eye level with Brian who was standing beside her with his hands in his pockets. He was being a good sport for being told off by a toddler. The guys were all changed into swim trunks with the exception of Brian, and they were all sitting back in their chairs laughing. Kacie was perched on top of Johnny and she too was giggling as the scene continued to unfold.

Eyes snapped to me as I stood up and averted my eyes to the floor. I walked over to Matt who tied my top for me before going to rescue Brian from the wrath of my daughter.

Riley spotted me walking over and she placed her hands on her hips. She then lifted one hand and pointed at me while still staring at Brian with a stern expression.

"Riley baby it's alright. It was an accident." I told her gently as I lifted her down from the table and onto the ground. She gave Brian one final glare before running off toward Zacky.

Brian turned to face me and cleared his throat softly. "I'm sorry." He said in a genuine tone.

"It's alright. I'm just sorry for having Riley yell at you. I think she felt guilty because she was supposed to watch the door to make sure no one was coming close. That wasn't alright though so I apologize." Brian just shook his head and opened his arms. I was slightly confused as to why he was motioning me give him a hug but I sucked it up and stepped into his embrace.

It felt odd at first. Brian wasn't usually one of the guys that I hugged all that often. His arms were strong and held a sense of protectiveness to them. I rested my head against his chest as I blushed some more. This was sort of awkward.

"I really am sorry though. I should have looked away. If it makes you feel any better you have a very nice rack babe." My blush intensified and I smacked his chest hard causing him to pull away from me. I gave him a glare but couldn't help but feel a sense of happiness that he had complimented my figure. I wasn't all that fond of my chest because in my eyes it was rather small. I averaged a 34B but could sometimes wear a 36A which was embarrassing to me at times. I actually really appreciated the confidence boost if I was being totally honest.

Brian just gave me a wink before he ducked into our tent probably to change into his swim suit as well. I brought my hand up to rub over my face and let out a deep breathe I had been holding in.

I went over to where everyone else was and decided to sit down on Matt's lap. I pinched his cheeks and with wide eyes started to tell him what I thought. "Save me from him!" I whispered harshly. He stared back at me with equally wide eyes and tried to talk but it came out as a mumble since his cheeks were still between my fingers. He reached up and pulled my arms away so he could talk. His cheeks now had two small pink dots on them from where I was holding but that really was the least of my worries.

"Oh come on Jade. So you gave the man a free show on accident. No harm done." I literally could have smacked my cousin there on the spot.

"Matt!" I said in disbelief. "You're supposed to back me up here."

"Well he's my best friend."

"Oh so you're saying you wouldn’t mind if I flashed everyone here then? Since you're all such good friends?" I asked as I reached for the strings on the back of my top. Zacky's eyes held a hint of mischief and I knew he wouldn’t mind getting a show. Johnny was just chuckling and Jimmy was sitting on the edge of his chair with an amused grin on his face. Matt on the other hand looked mortified. He reached up and covered the ties of my top.

"That's not what I meant." He grumbled as we all laughed. Brian came out of the tent wearing just his black swim trunks that came past his knees and it looked like we were all set to head down to the lake. Zacky lifted Riley up and carried her over to where the pile of floating things were. Riley grabbed her life vest that she surprisingly loved wearing. I always hated them as a kid and was very relieved when Matt had taught me how to swim one summer.

Jimmy pushed the container of floatation devices further into his pick up bed and then motioned for us to all climb in. It would only take us a few minutes to drive which seemed like a better idea than walking with all of the tubes and towels. Johnny lifted Kacie up into the truck while Zacky did the same with Riley. I placed my hands on the back end and was ready to push myself up when I felt hands on my hips. Strong arms hoisted me up and I turned around after to see Brian was grinning at me. I gave him a smile of thanks and watched him climb up too while Matt and Jimmy went to sit in the cab of the truck.

Brian casually placed his arm around my shoulders on our way and I let out a small grimace. Riley and Zacky both just chuckled at us lightly earning a playful glare from me.

It wasn't that I minded the gesture, I was just nervous about it going anywhere. I suppose that was my whole reason for being so cautious with Brian; I didn’t want to become just another notch on his bedpost and I feared that would be the result. It usually was with women and him and I really didn’t want to become another cat in the bag so to speak.

Brian jumped down first when we reached the water's edge and held his arms open as Riley went bolting and jumped into them. She giggled as he lifted her up and then placed her on the ground. He held his hand out for me to take and I did before jumping down.

I was pretty surprised to see that the edge of the water looked like a beach. There was sand and people were lying there on beach towels. There was a rental spot down the edge a bit and it appeared to have everything from inter-tubes to canoes to paddle boats. The sign listed all of those things along with water skiing and several other activities. Big Bear was always ready for recreation no matter what time of the year it was and I think that was what made it such a great vacation spot.

It didn’t take us long to get settled and Riley was quickly putting on her pink life vest before she ran toward the water. "Hold it Riles!" I yelled remembering that she was still lacking sunscreen. She paused with foot in mid step and hopped around to face me. I waved the bottle of sunscreen at her and she came hopping back over on one foot. I rolled my eyes as she sat down in front of me and allowed me to finish getting the spots she had missed. I flicked her pony tail when I was finished and she jumped up.

"Can I go now?"

"Do you have someone to go with you?" I asked with a raised brow. She turned and faced the rest of the bunch with her hands on her hips.

"Well?" She asked as she raised her hands. "Who's gonna go with me?"

When nobody made any motions that they were going to abandon their dry towels for the water Riley looked pretty frustrated. "Come on babe. I'll go. This bunch of suckers can sit here all day for all I care." I told her as I stood up. She grabbed my hand anxiously and drug me toward the edge of the water. I turned my head and stuck my tongue out at everyone. Brian and Zacky were the only two who returned the gesture.

I waded into the water with Riley and eventually went out past where she could stand up.

She gripped onto my arm as I pulled her out more. She wrapped her arms around my neck as we got out to where the water was up to my boobs. I held her around her waist and laughed lightly as she splashed about.

A squeal sounded from the shore and I looked to see Johnny heading toward the water with Kacie in his arms. They were just too cute sometimes. I rolled my eyes at the new couple and turned back to Riley. She let go of me and paddled her arms so she swam a few feet from me. The good thing about a lake was that there were no waves so I didn’t have to worry about her being taken under. She had more freedom here that was for sure. The guys all looked at one another before standing up and making their way for the water.

I watched as they all walked slowly but then suddenly I noticed Brian had an evil glint in his eyes. He snuck up behind Zacky who was just now stepping in the water and gave him a good shove knocking his fellow guitarist to the ground and into the water completely. Zacky sat there on his ass looking up at a smirking Brian with a dumbfound expression across his face.

"Dude. What the hell?" He asked as he stood up and gave Brian an equally hard shove. The difference between the two was that Brian had been expecting this and therefore was able to keep his footing. He took off running into the water and away from Zacky. The downside of this was that they were both heading straight for me.

Brian grabbed me around the middle and spun me so I was between the two. His hands were on my arms keeping me in place and I started yelling at him to let me go as Zacky continued to approach.

"Zacky stop right there!" I said as he continued to inch closer, now at a slower pace since I was the obstacle standing between him and his target. He didn't stop but in fact seemed to ponder things for moment before giving Brian a smirk. He nodded which then had me concerned for a moment since I didn’t know what he was nodding at.

Brian's arms moved from on my arms to around my chest and Zacky made a charge at me splashing water the entire way. A scream echoed out from my mouth as a wave created by Zacky's arms met my face. I struggled against Brian's arms as more came flying my way.

"Baker! Stop! Brian let me go!" I screamed. A mini version of my scream met my ears as the water stopped and I opened my wet eyes to see that Riley was now on Zacky's back with her arms around his neck. She had snuck up behind him to come to my rescue.

She giggled as Zacky reached behind him and pulled her off of his back before bringing her around to his front side. He gave her a fake glare before she pushed him off and she swam over to where Matt was floating by in an inter-tube. "Uncle Matt save me!" She squealed as Zacky swam after, purposely letting her get away. Matt very easily picked her up out of the water and set her on his lap as they continued to float. She sat up and stuck her tongue out at Zacky, even adding her hands stuck out at the side of her head.

"Did you see that?" He asked me as he whipped his head around to stare at me in disbelief. I shrugged my shoulders and played innocent while I gave Riley and Matt a wink.

"See what?" I asked tilting my head to the side for emphasis. Zacky just pointed between me and Riley a few times before hanging his head and giving up. He slyly slipped me the finger as he swam over to where Jimmy was trying to dunk Johnny and Kacie was doing her best to keep him away.

"You can let go of me you know." I told Brian while not removing my eyes from the other four that were now in a heated battle of dunking.

"What if I don't want to?" Brian said into my ear.

"I wasn't really asking you." I said.

His arms released me from his grasp and he splashed some water on me before swimming over to where Matt and Riley were floating nearby. I ducked under the water to get my hair out of my face and surfaced to see that Brian had tipped the inter-tube over and was now claiming it for himself while Matt and Riley looked at him in shock.

I just giggled lightly as I swam back to the shore to go lay out for a bit. It was going to be a long afternoon.

***

"Matt, no."

"Oh come on Jade. You need a break. Just let me take Riles with me." I placed a hand on my hip and gave Matt a look of disbelief.

"I'm not sending Riley to the showers with all you men! I don't need her being scarred for life you know." I said as I shook my head. "I can handle it Matt. I don't need a break." I said with a sigh.

"Jade come on. She won't be a hassle. And we won't scar her I promise."

"Matt… it's just not right. I can't send Riley with five men into the showers. We already went through the 'why are boys different than girls' phase but I'd really rather not strike up anything more at the moment."

"I can tell you why we're different." Brian said as he stepped out of our tent with his shower bag and a towel in hand.

"Of course you'd know how we're different." I mumbled under my breath as I rolled my eyes. His smirk fell into a frown but I chose to ignore it before patting Matt on the arm.

"The answer is still no babe." I told him before grabbing my shower bag and two towels for Riley and I. Kacie was keeping Riles occupied over at the picnic table. They were trying to deflate the air toys but for some odd reason they weren't being super successful.

As I approached I was knocked out of the way by Jimmy who ran to the table and snatched up Riley who began laughing. Zacky and Johnny were following with towels and shower bags while Matt and Brian were bringing up the rear.

"We'll have her back squeaky clean!" Zacky yelled as he waved his hand over his head. Matt turned and stuck his tongue out at me. I blinked a few times and realized that my daughter had been kidnapped. While the swimming had been fun we were all slightly worn out and were wanting a shower.

"If anything happens to her or she sees anything you're dead Matt!" I yelled as I slumped down opposite Kacie who was holding a tube close to her chest letting the air out.

"Why do I even bother?" I asked as I slumped my head down on the towels. "They never listen to me." I grumbled further as Kacie set aside the water toy and pulled her own shower bag toward her.

"They're men. They're not supposed to listen I guess. She will be fine with them."

"That's easy for you to say. You're not the one who will have to explain the male anatomy to her when she questions why her Uncle Matt and the guys have dicks between their legs and what they're used for." My words moaned from my mouth as I shook my head.

"Then let the guys explain it. They created the situation so they should get to handle it."

"True." I nodded as she stood up and I followed suit. "Riley…well… she isn't afraid to speak her mind. If anything I can see her pointing at them and asking "what's that?" to them." Kacie burst out laughing at that.

"Well then it'll serve them right for taking her with them. They're big boys. They can handle it." She said as she waved it off with her hand.

Thankfully for me, the showers were right beside eachother. The guys was in the next building over from the girls one so if they needed anything they could just yell and I could go help. But hey, if they insisted on taking her then they were on their own as far as I was concerned.

"So how are things with Johnny?" I questioned as we reached the shower block. Thankfully it appeared that we had the place to ourselves. I set my bag and towel down on a bench against the wall opposite a shower stall.

"Pretty good. He's such a sweet guy. But you know, I just want to take things slow for now and thankfully he respects that. Not many guys do." She said as she entered a stall and hung her towel over the door. "How are things with you and Brian?" She asked casually as she started the water. I could hear the playful smirk in her voice as she started humming.

I glared at the water knob as I turned it on and warm water cascaded out of the tap over my head. "There is nothing between Brian and me." I said in a firm tone.

"Oh really? Because from the way I see it, you both sort of like each other." Her voice echoed through the small building and I only hoped it didn’t carry over to the guys shower block.

"I can't date him. Ever." I said as I poured some shampoo into my hand from the travel sized bottle.

"Why not?"

"Because! I just can't! He's a player. I don't want someone like him so involved in Riley's life. She shouldn’t have to deal with that and neither should I."

"But what if he's not always like that? I'm sure there will come a time when he will want to settle down. And I hate to break it to you hun but he's already a very big part of that girl's life whether you like it or not. He's a part of your's as well but you just don't want to admit it." She said in a sing song voice that aggravated me. She was exactly right and I hated it.

A giggle came from the building over and I felt my heart beat speed up as the guys' chuckles followed. Oh please let things to be going alright. "Uncle Matt!" Riley squealed before she laughed again. Well she wasn't crying so that was a plus.

"I just don't know what to do Kacie." I sighed as I moved onto the conditioner after recollecting my thoughts. "He's just so damn attractive but yet I don't want to like him. He still bugs the crap out of me and I just hate the way he is!" I groaned as I described the way I felt about Brian.

Kacie let out a chuckle and I saw her hand reach out to grab her towel. "You can't help who you like."

"I know, I know." I grumbled as I too took my towel after shutting the water off. I stepped out of my stall after I had the towel wrapped around me and instantly felt my eyes widen and my stomach plummet.

My head snapped to Kacie who was looking equally perturbed by what we were seeing, or not seeing.

"Is this really happening?" She croaked as I nodded only to confirm our fears.

Our clothes were gone. Not even in eyesight and we both knew who was to blame.

"Guys!" Kacie yelled as she stuck her head out of the door. Her face flushed as we both heard them all laugh. "Ah fuck! You're all dead when we get back!" She screamed.

"What?" I asked in frustration.

"They were all running back toward the camp site. Zacky and Brian had our clothes and Riley was slung over Matt's shoulder laughing. Those fuckers."

"I'm going to kill them." I said as I put my things back in my bag that had been left empty. My towel was staying close to my body and I was swearing that I would murder someone if we came across any other people.

"Well I guess there's only one thing to do." Kacie said as she clung to her towel too.

"Yeah. Get back to camp so we can skin them all alive. With the exception of Riley of course." I said under my breath as I slung my bag over my shoulder while still clutching my blue towel.

Kacie and I looked to make sure the coast was clear and when we were satisfied that it was we set out back toward the camp. "I swear." Kacie grumbled as we followed the path threw some bushes. "If something jumps out at me I will not be a happy camper. Literally." A chuckle came past my lips but then turned into a nervous chuckle as the bushes rattled nearby. I froze as did Kacie and we moved closer together out of instinct.

"What was that?" I whispered as the bushes rattled again, this time closer to where we were standing.

"I don't know but I don’t like it." She replied. "Let's keep moving." I nodded and we continued walking at a quicker pace this time. My eyes were scanning the area quickly and cautiously. I didn't fancy being eaten.

"Ahhhh!"

"Ahhhhhhhh!"

"Eeeeee!"

Kacie and I both let out screams as two figures jumped out of the bushes in front of us. I slipped losing my footing and tumbled to the ground pulling Kacie down with me.

"What the hell!" Kacie yelled as the two figures started laughing in deep tones. There was no mistaking who it was.

The infamous guitar duo.

"Brian!" I screamed from my spot on the ground. Thankfully I was still wrapped in my towel and so was my newest partner in crime.

Zacky and Brian both stood with their hands on their knees as they laughed at the two of us on the ground. "You should have seen your faces!" Zacky said through a fit of laughter.

"Wait until you see your's once I get my hands on you!" Kacie snarled as she stood up and went chasing after Zacky. Part of her towel was flapping in the air but I really don't think she cared at this point.

My hand over my chest was shaking as I continued to sit on the ground while Brian still laughed. I truly had been shaken up. I wasn't a fan of the woods in the evening. All sorts of animals came out at dusk and I was always afraid that something was going to come out.

I brought my other hand that had been holding me up on the ground up to my face and rubbed it over my eyes as I tried to get my breathing back under control.

I heard Brian's laughter stop and when I looked up again he was standing over me with a concerned look. "You alright?" He asked as he held a hand out for me to take. I reached a hand out to take it but when Brian noticed it was shaking he retracted it. He squatted down and instead of taking my hand again he scooped me up into his arms.

"We really scared you didn't we." He stated as I nodded. Normally I would have yelled at Brian for picking me up when I was only in a towel but I really was too shaken up to care. Something like that prank should be insignificant to me but it was quite the opposite. If there was one fear I had in life it was being attacked by a wild animal. I know it was probably a stupid fear but I couldn’t even control it.

"I'm sorry." He said as he held me close to him while we walked through the woods more.

"It's ok." I told him as I shivered as a gust of wind came and chilled my skin.

"Why were you so startled?" He asked with genuine curiosity.

I explained my fear to him and he let out a groan of sadness. "I'm so sorry Jade. If I had known…" He trailed off as I shivered against his chest.

This was an odd position to be in with Brian. I was honestly surprised he even cared. What surprised me even more was when he leaned his head down and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

Before I could say anything to him light met my eyes as we rejoined the rest of the group. "Mommy!" Riley squealed as she came running while Brian set me down on my feet. He kept his hands on my hips which ended up being a good thing because my legs almost collapsed.

"Are you alright?" Riles voice was quiet and scared as she stood before me.

"Yeah baby. I'll be alright."

"Jade?" Matt asked as he came over with worry in his eyes.

"I'm fine Matt. Can I just please get into some clothes now?" I asked firmly as everyone now started to come toward me when they noticed my frazzled state.

Brian steered me toward the tent and helped me inside.

"Do you, um, need any help?" He asked as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"No. I'm fine." I said stiffly as I reached for my bag. He nodded and gave me a small smile before leaving the tent and zipping up the door.

When I removed my towel I noticed I now had a nice bruise forming on my upper thigh from where I had landed on the ground. I grunted and pulled on my clothes and followed it by a hoodie of Matt's that I had taken earlier in the week back at home.

I ran my hands over my face gently as a deep breath escaped from my throat.

So today hadn't been the greatest day overall. It had started out alright but it only seemed to go downhill as the afternoon progressed.

I had a lot to think about in a sense. I hoped that Riley still hadn't been scarred by the guys. I hoped that this stupid bruise would go away.

But what was nagging at my brain the most was what the hell was up with Brian? And why the fuck had he kissed me?

I left the tent with my mind swirling and sat down in one of the chairs between Matt and Brian. Kacie was now re-dressed and was perched beside Johnny with a metal stick in her hand that had a marshmallow on the end of it.

"Look mommy! I'm gonna make a smore!" I smiled at Riley from where she was sitting on Brian's lap.

"Awesome baby. Can you make me one?" I asked sweetly.

"No. But Brian will." She said with a giggle.

"See? We didn't scar her." Matt said from beside me softly.

"Riley babe how was your shower?" I questioned skeptically wanting the answers straight from her.

"It was good! I got to shower all by myself! And I got dressed by myself too! Brian just had to help me dry off and brush my hair." She said proudly as she spun her marshmallow on the stick.

"Brian brushed your hair?" I asked with shock. She nodded and leaned forward forcing Brian to grab onto her hips to keep her in his lap still.

"Wow. I'm impressed." I stated gently as he coughed.

"Ah fuck!" Jimmy yelled earning a glare from Riley. He brought his marshmallow up to his lips and blew at it hastily since it had now caught on fire. "I hate burnt marshmallows." He grumbled as he held it between his fingers. Johnny sneakily leaned over and snatched the burnt to a crisp marshmallow from between his fingers with his teeth. We all let out laughs as Jimmy looked hurt at the action.

"There." Johnny said through a mouthful. "Now you don't have to worry about it anymore."

Brian nudged me with his elbow and held out a finished smore for me. "To say I'm still sorry about earlier." He stated softly.

"Thanks Brian." I said quietly as I took the sweet treat from him. It tasted perfect. He reached his arm out and because I was sitting so close he was able to wrap his arm around my shoulders. Matt looked warily at us but I just gave him a smile to let him know I was alright.

"Brian!" Riley squealed as he placed a kiss on her cheeks playfully.

"What?" He asked.

"That was a sticky kiss!" She complained as she wiped at her cheek.

"You don't like sticky kisses?" He asked.

"No!" She giggled as she pulled her marshmallow away from the fire. Matt took it from her and made her a smore before handing it back to her. She took a bite and then leaned up to place a kiss on Brian's cheek in return.

"There! Now we're even!" She said triumphantly.

Kacie was watching the exchange with interest and she caught my gaze soon after. Her look told me all I needed to know and more.

Riley adored Brian and he adored her. It appeared that I was the only one not in the loop this time around and it hurt that I wasn't.