This is My December

Just as the morning light illuminated Elliot’s pale features, he was already up and dressed, readying himself to bid Lydia a relieved adieu if she did not already leave.

He remembered her temperature was almost towards normal. There was no possible way it could spike up any higher! She would be completely fine.

A strange uneasiness whirled inside his stomach. What is this feeling?

He shook the strange sensation from his mind as he finally reached the living room. He was already picturing Lydia jumping around, dashing towards the door in great speed as Elliot noticed she seemed fine.

What he saw instead was, as with everything in this crazy mixed up world, completely unexpected.

Elliot was greeted with a rousing cough followed by a loud sneeze. Lydia lay completely curled up in her little quilt, shivering violently. Her face was completely vapid, void of all possible color. Her striking auburn locks seemed even duller. What the…?

“L…Lydia? Is that you?” Elliot asked, flabbergasted how this was actually possible.

Lydia coughed a few times to clear her throat before she answered in a hoarse voice, “Sort of… I will admit I have felt better…” She coughed once more.

His doctor senses kicked into action as he dashed to feel her forehead. Elliot surmised it was about one hundred or one hundred one degrees - Much, much higher than it was days before. To check, he popped a thermometer into her mouth as he gave her a quick examination. No matter how hard he tried to disprove it, his wildest fears came true.

“You’re really still sick…,” he murmured, staring as the thermometer as it displayed a whopping 101.5 degrees Fahrenheit.

“Sorry, Elli, I know you were expecting me to get out of here already, but what can I say? My fever just came back out of nowhere.” She released a haggard sigh. “I guess we both now have to tell our stories now, don’t we? We both promised too… DARN!”

Elliot’s body froze. He did promise he would tell her if she was still sick. Worst of all, he still really wished to hear her story.

He then released a tired groan, cursing himself for thinking of such a proposition. Who knew it would have worked against him in such a manner?

I knew it! I must be cursed! I should have never made a deal with that evil demon queen… He shot Lydia an irritated glare as she returned it with her own blissfully mocking smirk.

“Okay, I’ll tell you… tonight.” Her eyebrows furrowed at this, clearly questioning why. “Well we both need some time to prepare ourselves, don’t we? I bet you’re not ecstatic about telling your side of the story as I much as I am with mine.” Elliot soon told her.

Lydia’s gaze fell downcast, probably recalling she had to prepare herself for her own little tale.

“Yes, that sounds reasonable enough…” She slightly nodded her head. “Okay, deal.”

“Wonderful!” As Elliot walked away from her, he added, “I’ll be preparing you your breakfast and medicine, alright? I really should be working first as a doctor, shouldn’t I? I don’t think it would be very professional of me to shirk my responsibilities.”

Lydia chuckled a low laugh as she shook her head. With a light smile, he headed towards the kitchen, boiling the water to prepare a warm steamy broth.

He uneasily ran his pale fingers through his raven hair and released a low nervous laugh.

He really got himself into a terrible mess. He never told that story to a single soul, not even his sister, who was only aware of a small portion of it. Then he grew even more ill at ease to feel that strange feeling leave his stomach. A more pleasant, an almost happy, feeling replaced it.

“Why is that?” he mumbled to himself.

Was he actually happy that Lydia was…?

He dismissed such a ridiculous thought from his mind. “HA! That is just ridiculous!” He else would he react? Surely, he would not feel happiness.

A new and even more disturbing though crossed through his mind.

Just how would he feel if he Lydia really did leave? He contemplated that for a few long moments. That question just completely baffled him. How would he react? He just was not sure…

~* * *~

Hours ticked by in a quicker speed Elliot would have liked. His anxiousness over the proposed event increased with each passing second. How was he going to say it?

“Hey, Elli, are you ready yet?” Lydia asked him, sitting completely upright.

He sighed. “As ready as I’ll ever be I suppose.” She wryly smiled, also feeling uneasy.

He slowly seated himself right across from her. "Okay, before we start I just want to set a few ground rules."

With a little smirk, she said, "I was thinking the same exact thing."

"Rule number 1: Whatever we say here will stay here. We will never mention this outside the room and to no one else." Elliot began as Lydia nodded her head in agreement.

"Okay, rule number two: This is without any restraints. No holding back. We can ask each other any question we want. It has to be within reason of course. Nothing too out there." Lydia continued.

"Rule number three: Absolutely no interruptions. You can't say a word as the other person speaks. Is that agreed?" Lydia viciously nodded her head.

“Yeah! Yeah! I get it already! I’m not stupid. Can we please just get this over with?” she griped impatiently. “Gentlemen’s first!”

“I thought ladies go first?” he countered, wishing to be second to delay the interrogation.

“Well too bad for you because I’m not a lady. I’m a sick person here!” she released a thunderous cough, which sounded completely fake in his cultured ears. “See? Terribly sick.”

Elliot rolled his eyes. “Of course… Now what am I talking about exactly?”

Lydia quickly reminded him, “You have to tell me about your reluctance to talk about your “fantastical road to medical genius” and, of course, why you hate Christmas.”

He scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, okay. Now let’s see…” He cleared his throat. “Ahem, now it all started just a few Christmases ago…”

“Ooh! Ooh! Question! Question!” the girl exclaimed, waving her hand up in the air. “Which one are you answering? The Christmas one or the doctor one?”

“Both. Lucky for you they’re both connected. Now what did I say about interruptions? I will walk away you know! I have better things to do.” he threatened.

“No! Please no! Don’t! I’ll be good, I promise.” She begged, swiftly covering her mouth.

Elliot scrutinized her for a moment and soon decided to continue. “Okay. As I was saying, it all began just a few Christmases ago. I was a young aspiring eighteen-year-old boy, who was ready to pursue his life’s dream – to become a doctor. My family was fairly affluent, consisting of my father, mother, my sister, Louisa, and me. It was in that winter where I had received the best Christmas present I ever thought possible.”

“What was it?’ Lydia whispered, her eyes sparkling in honest curiosity.

He smiled and replied, “My payment for college, and not just any college. It was for Princeton University, one of the most elite institutions in the country. Receiving such a gift was unlike anything I could ever obtain, and something I could not accept.”

She stood up and smacked his head. “You idiot! Why were you thinking that? It’s money! You are supposed to accept it! Especially if it’s for college! Do you have an idea how expensive those tuitions are?!” He glared at her for a few moments before Lydia realized the error of her actions and seated herself back down. “Oh… oopsies! Sorry about that… Um, I’m going to shut up right now.”

She gently patted his head and covered her mouth to assist in preventing anything else from escaping from her lips.

Seeing she was not going to utter a peep anytime soon, Elliot began once more. “When I told them I couldn’t allow them to pay for me for all those years of schooling…”

He paused for one moment, observing her as she nearly fainted at that. “They insisted. My sister even smacked me on the head to knock some sense into me. She thought it was the stupidest thing I ever done.” Lydia nodded her head in deep approval. “But, the main problem was, I knew I could not pay them back in any way. My gift was not even good enough to compensate for it. It made me feel like I owed them way too much – a debt I simply could never repay.

“My parents then assured me that I could repay it if it would ease my mind. Maybe not in material sense, but in another way. All they wanted from me is to use their money and become a great doctor. They wanted me to make them proud. I had once thought I could do it. It may not be much, but if it’s all I had to do to make my parents happy, well, I would have done anything. My promise to them was that I would become a great doctor. That had begun my road to the university to work towards my medical degree. I passed the entrance exam with flying colors and once thought that maybe I really could achieve both my dream and my promise. I thought I could really do it.”

Then the atmosphere shifted. Lydia could feel it.

She watched as his face hardened. His brilliant emeralds dropped to the ground, gazing out into space. “What a fool was I? My first few years were fairly pleasant, and I went along just fine… but it seemed I was not destined to have such an easy time. I am currently in my fourth year in receiving my medical degree, and everything just seemed to be going horribly wrong. I can’t seem to do anything right. I had been doing terribly, fumbling around like I don’t know what the heck I was doing. I almost diagnosed an illness wrong. That person could have died!”

He released a tired sigh as Lydia gazed at him with sympathetic eyes. “I… I just have been wondering if all my parent’s money was well-spent. They could have put it into a better cause than to send me to college for my medical degree. I just feel that I can’t give my parent’s that one Christmas present. I’m a complete failure. It was then I realized that Christmas is just filled with empty promises no one can achieve. It’s a stupid holiday.”

Then all was still. Elliot’s eyes seemed completely saddened, tinged with a bitter gleam.

Lydia was completely shocked by his response. She considered everything for one long moment.

She then released an uproarious laughter, breaking the placid air between them. Elliot blinked a few times, staring as the little girl fell out of her seat, clutching her stomach with her pale arms. He narrowed his eyes, completely furious at her. “Why the hell are you laughing? It was not funny!”

Lydia shook her head as she slowly began pacifying herself. “I know! I know! I’m sorry, Elli! Didn’t mean to laugh.” She wiped a tiny tear from her golden irises.

“Then please explain to me what was so hilarious, Dee Dee. I didn’t seem to get the joke,” he scowled.

Lydia cleared her throat of all unnecessary releases as she said, “I don’t expect you to.” Elliot’s gaze softened at this, his expression quizzical. “I was laughing because you have the same problem as me. Oh, and thanks for nearly ruining my story.”

“B…but what do you mean? I don’t understand,” he murmured, clearly confused.

“As I said, I don’t expect you to! Just wait until I tell you my little story then everything will be clear!” Just moments before she was going to begin, she said, “Ooh! Wait! Before I start, can I comment on your little narrative?”

With a sadistic smile that Lydia learned to fear, he replied, “No way, Dee Dee!”

“Why not?” she whined. “There’s not rule saying I can’t give any comments.”

“It is now. No comments until we both finish with our stories. That’s rule number four,” he said in a matter-of-factly tone.

“But that’s not fair! I’m going to forget by then!” The little redhead griped.

He smiled even more brightly as he replied, “Well too bad. Now do you know what to talk about?”

She released an exasperated shrug as she said, “Yes… I have to talk about my cooking abilities and why I hate Christmas… Whoop-dee-freakin’-doo…”

“Very good. Now please, begin.” Elliot said, excitedly awaiting her response. With an irritated glare, she pushed herself from the ground, wiped herself off, and plopped herself right next to him.

With a spiteful glow in her eyes, Lydia released a loud string of coughs near him. “Okay, now I’m ready!”

She slowly cleared her throat as she carefully thought about her word choice. ”Alright then! Here we go! Even though you practically spoiled my story, I will begin my tale by saying this has absolutely no happy endings. I guess that’s the story of my life…”

She bitterly chuckled before she breathed in a deep inhale. “Okay, this all happened when I was only about fifteen years ago and ironically enough around the Christmas season, the happiest holiday in the world! What a joke…

"Anyway, the only person that my whole world revolved around was my dear mother. She was the fairest one of all and had an irrevocable love for the holiday. She would always try to work in things such as food drives, cooking for those who were less fortunate.

“So that’s how you learned how to cook. Your mother was a chef?’ Elliot queried.

Lydia nodded her head. “Yep! A darn good one too! She was one of the head chefs for a reputable restaurant. She would always let me tag along with her and watch her work. It wasn’t very long until I was flipping pancakes and preparing a flambé. Though she had a big heart, she had extremely poor health. She was always weak in physical strength, but her will was amazing. Nothing seemed to bring her down… that is until that one faithful day.”

Suddenly, just like Elliot, the atmosphere shifted. Elliot could feel a bitter taste fill the air as he watched Lydia’s face darken.

“My mother had to go to the hospital just days before Christmas. I just didn’t know what was the matter with her. It was nothing I could cure by myself. I hoped the doctors could help her and identify her mysterious ailment.

"Several days had passed and… still nothing. They could not figure out what was wrong with her. They promised that they will try to make her as comfortable as possible, but it was only a matter of time until…”

Lydia stopped herself in mid-sentence, seeing her breathing grew uneven. She took in a few deep breaths, calming herself. Her voice soon fell unusually soft. “As my mom stayed in the hospital, I visited as much as humanly possible, trying to ease her of any anxieties or pain that I could take care of. Then came Christmas Eve.

“My mother’s condition seemed even worse off than it was the passed few days. To top it of all, I didn’t even have enough money to pay for her gift. I had to save it all for the rent of our apartment. My mother just smiled at me with that radiant smile and assured me that it was okay. She made me promise one thing, and that would be my gift for her. I would make something out of my life – something that would make me truly happy and make her proud. She doesn’t want me wasting my life away.

"I vowed I would try my best in giving her that one present, only if she tried to get me this one present – the only present I wanted that year. I wanted her to get better really fast. I did not want to lose her…”

Lydia paused for another moment. What a terrible Christmas that must have been… Elliot thought, his lips curved into a tiny frown.

“Heh, I know that must sound completely selfish of me to request anything like that my sickly mother, but I was desperate. I would do anything for that woman to help her stay alive. The funny thing was that she smiled at me in such a way that it made me feel hopeful. She said that she would also try her best. Just no matter what happens, I was to give her that one present. Find true happiness and make her proud.

"After spending as much time as I possibly could, the nurse soon forced me out the door. I was strangely optimistic. I hoped with all my heart that my Christmas wish would become reality. Of course, I suppose I should have not expected such a thing. It would only hurt me in the long run…”

“So what happened?” Elliot asked. “What happened to your Mom?”

“Hey, Elli, what happened to rule number three and four? Are you going against your own rules?” She released a wry smile, tinted with the bitterness of the sad memory. Elliot quieted down, feeling guilty.

“Yeah I forgot… please continue.”

“Okay, let’s see… Christmas Day. Oh yeah did I get a gift. When I walked into the hospital to spend Christmas with my mother, the nurse stopped me. I could not go visit her any longer…” She bit her lip. “Well that’s the end to my melancholy anecdote.”

“But what happened after that? What did you do?” Elliot quickly asked.

“Oh that. Well I had to waste the rest of my time with my drunkard of a father. He left my mother and me when I was very little. When I moved in with him, he left me well enough alone so we never had any quality ‘bonding time’. He just did not care what I did or when I did it. He even left me alone in that dump of an apartment during the final days of my senior year. That was fine by me. That was when I decided to leave the place of my birth, wandering aimlessly to many cities and even more dead-end jobs.”

“Why did you go through all that though?”

She smiled and replied, “Well I had a promise to keep didn’t I? I don’t break my promises… no matter how I felt that wretched holiday broke mine. Even though I ran into my obstacles, I never gave up! I always persevered and kept on looking! I knew I would find my calling sooner or later.”

“So… that’s the reason why you were outside of the house? You were on your way to your newest destination.”

“Yep! Bingo! I always travel from place to place, looking for that one place where I belonged in order to achieve my personal happiness and to make my dear old mommy proud.” She giggled and added, “See? What did I tell you? We actually had something in common. What are the odds in that?”

Elliot figured his lips into a grin as he replied, “Yeah… who knew…”

Her eyes soon regained its original shimmer as she exclaimed, “Okay! Let’s get on with the comments! You promised, Elli! You promised!”

He shrugged. “Okay, Dee Dee. I know. So what did you want to say?”

A bright smile touched her lips as she bluntly said, “You are so emo, you know that?”

Elliot fell out of his seat, completely taken aback by her frank remark. It took a few moments for him to collect himself back to his respectful disposition.

He replied, “Yeah… Strangely enough, I heard that once before. Louisa used to say that to me all the time.”

“And she’s a wise woman! You must listen to her more often!” she said.

Elliot’s eyes narrowed, glaring at her. Yep, she’s a dead ringer for an even more annoying version of my sister…

“So why do you say that?” he inquired, though he himself feared the answer.

“It’s simple really! It’s because you putting yourself down so much. You nearly exude the whole ‘There is no meaning in life. The world is completely meaningless… blah blah blah…’ aura. Hmm… at least you can have the look. You have dark enough hair for it. Put on some guy liner, black clothes, and continue talking in that depressing manner, and you would just be perfect for an emo wannabe or, at the very least, a goth!”

His forest green orbs glared with a burning intensity, almost intent on melting that stupid grin that graced her pallid lips.

“Okay, I’m only kidding! I only meant that you should give yourself a little bit more credit. You’re so hard on yourself! Just because you hit a few bumps in the road doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world as we know it! With that attitude, I’m surprised you didn’t commit suicide already. Just look at things this way. You took care of me fairly well right?”

Elliot tentatively nodded his head, “Uh… yeah I guess…”

“Then that means you’re better than you think! So don’t give up on yourself just yet. You just have to persevere a little bit more. You are a better doctor than you think.”

Elliot was completely speechless. He never expected to hear such a thing from her… well he could easily imagine her saying the whole ‘emo’ thing. How was he supposed to react? Apparently he could not help, but channel the amazement into a more negative route.

“You don’t know anything about me! Why should I even listen to a little redheaded twerp like you?! You don’t understand how I feel or what’s going on it my life! It’s not like your life it perfect so it’s really not your place to give anyone advice.” He spat out defensively.

That certainly was not the reaction Lydia was expecting. Anger quickly flashed in her golden orbs as she countered, “What do you mean by that?”

“You think I’m the delusional one? Then maybe you should realize that I’m not the only one that is completely misguided! If you think that all that wandering around business, nearly killing yourself along the way, is a way for you to find out what you want to do with your life, than you are horribly mistaken!” he exclaimed, standing up from his seat.

“You are just running away from your disappointment and shame over your mother’s death. You were just so upset that you could do nothing about it that you just run away as far as you can from the pain, wandering around aimlessly for something to placate that ache in that spineless body of yours.”

Enraged, she shot up, looking up to stare at his equally irate irises. “Well I’m sorry if I am not Miss Perfection! At least I’m not the one who doesn’t understand that his parents only want him to do his freakin’ best! They don’t give a damn about everything else. As long as you’re happy, they’re happy! You are so lucky! I would give anything for that!”

Then silence ensued their dissension. Their livid irises glared each other down as the tension thickened the air. Elliot broke away, storming off. “I’m leaving!”

Lydia yelled in response, “Yeah, fine by me! Jerk!”