Can't Have You

I looked at Sofia in utter shock as she deviously smirked at me. Then I looked over at Joe who looked a little confused, but shook his head once and gave me a sympathetic look, like he knew this whole idea would end bad.

I knew I looked broken just standing there, watching them. As Joe detached himself from Sofia, he started to stand up and move closer to me.

“Elle,” Joe said softly. “This is my girlfriend Sofia. I met ---” Joe started but before he could finish, I took off running, tears threatening to fall.

I felt sick to my stomach, like I was going to throw up. As I made a dash from the door I turned back to see Joe running after me which only made me want to run more. I couldn’t be near him or that tramp right now. I pushed the door open and ran out into the pouring rain.

As I took off running through the rain, I felt it soak my clothes and hair instantly. I was about to stop from being out of breathe, when someone grabbed me from behind and pulled me to them. I put my arms around the familiar body and laid my head against his shoulder. I knew I shouldn’t feel this broken, but seeing him with her made me feel that way, and I have no idea why. Maybe it's because I like Joe more than I think, that this whole thing has just gotten way out of hand, and my heart is overpowering my thoughts.

“I’m so sorry, Elle,” Joe whispered in my ear as the rain fell harder “I was going to tell you tomorrow. I didn’t expect you to be back tonight. I mean, I yelled before I brought Sofia in, but you never came down so I thought you were staying there.”

I let him ramble on for a little as I tried to pull myself together and reframe from bursting into more tears over this. I mean, Sofia was my boss! So why in the hell she was here and swearing around with my mortal subject, I had no idea! Personally, I didn’t care. I just didn’t just want Joe hurt.

“Joe, this Sofia is bad news.” I said weakly as I started to pull away from his embrace.

“Elle,” Joe sighed in frustration and pushed away completely as he shook his head. “You told me to find someone else! Hell, you practically screamed it earlier today and now that I do, you don’t want me with her. What the hell is wrong with you, Elle? You can’t have your cake and eat it too!”

I jumped back at Joe screaming at me like that. Sure, we had been in a lot of fights before and screamed at each other, but he seemed really mad about this. I looked at him sadly and a couple tears started to fall again, but I didn’t wipe them away since it was already raining.

“Tell me, why she is so bad?” Joe demanded and I didn’t answer.

I couldn’t tell Joe that Sofia was really the goddess of love, and my boss. That really she was probably was just using him to get to me because that would destroy him completely. I had already broke too many rules anyways. And if I broke any more, I was probably screwed and going to hell.

“That’s what I thought.” Joe said as started to walk away from me and back to the bus. I started to break down as he got closer and closer to the bus. Suddenly out of nowhere he came walking back shaking his head. “Give me one reason not to go back in there to Sofia.” He looked at me as if he wanted me to say yes.

“I…I..I…” I started but kept stuttering.

“Three words, eight letters,” Joe said getting closer. I could feel his breath on my lips as his hands went into my wet hair. “Say it. Come on, Elle.”

It was horrible watching Joe beg for me right in front of me. Sure, I had seen him beg for me before, but this was different because we were both in pain. There was only way to bring us both out of pain and it involved 3 words I just couldn’t say. I moved Joe’s hands out of my hair and took a step back.

“I can’t.” I said looking down. My thoughts overpowering my heart, again.

Joe didn’t even say anything. He just backed away from me, the sound of his shoes hitting the pavement and rain, making my heart break with each step. He was walking away just like before, but this time I knew he wouldn’t be coming back. I just let the tears fall as I started crying. As the hot tears streamed down my face, I fell to my knees in a muddle as the rain hit me harder than before. Honestly, I had never been so destroyed in all my 70 years before. The saddest part of it all, is I really do love him.

---

I sat there, trying to focus on what Kevin was telling me about the boys upcoming press conference. But I couldn’t because I was watching Joe out of the corner of my eye. Sofia and Joe were pressed up against the wall in the hallway making out. I bit my lip as I stared at the couple, and wished it was me.

I had my chance though and that was last night when he asked me to say those 3 forbidden words. I guess he was moving on, but unfortunately, my job wasn’t going to be done any time soon because Sofia wasn’t mortal either. I was pretty much screwed and would have to figure out a way to get this bitch out of here. Otherwise I was going to be stuck on earth forever with this asshole project that I was madly in love with. Then I would definitely miss my vacation which I was dying for right now.

“Elle,” I heard Kevin say then he snapped his fingers and I turned to look at him.

“Yes?” I asked.

“You know he just met her last night so most likely it won’t last,” Kevin said smiling. “Plus he has been pretty love sick over someone.”

“I’m not interested in Joe.” I lied and looked down at my papers.

“Sure,” Kevin laughed as he got up. “Well I’m going out for some air.”

I watched Kevin walk out of the bus and close the door loudly which made the couple jump apart in shock. I didn’t dare look over though, I just kept staring at the papers in front of me. I heard some hushed whispers then heard heels hitting the floor.

“Loser.” I heard Sofia mutter as she walked by me and I looked up.

“Bitch.” I snapped back.

I watched as Sofia waved herself back up to Mount Olympus when Joe had started to walk back to the bunk area. I put the papers down and started to walk back to the bunk area. As I got there, I saw Joe rummaging through some things and I closed the door behind me.

“Need any help?” I asked walking over next to him.

“No,” Joe muttered. “Well, not from you anyways.”

“Seriously Joe?” I asked frustrated. “Are you going to act like you’re 12?”

“What do you want, Elle?” Joe asked yelling.

“To talk.” I said quietly and rubbed my arm.

“I think we did all the talking we needed to last night.” Joe sighed and then turned to me.

“Joe, there’s rules. A lot of them. There’s things you don’t know and can’t know,” I said biting my lip. “This thing between us should have never happened. You shouldn’t have ever found out I was cupid. We have broke so many rules!”

“Whatever,” Joe waved me away as he turned back to what he was doing. “I don’t even care anymore.”

“That’s a lie," I said barley over a whisper. "What if I said I need you now?"

Joe didn’t answer, he just stopped what he was doing, contemplating. So I just walked closer to him and put my hand lightly on his shoulder. I watched his back tense up at my touch and I sighed putting my head on his shoulder. As I did so he turned around and looked at me coldly.

“It wouldn’t matter anymore.” Joe said coldly then pushed past me and out the door.

I think I just ruined the best thing that could have ever happened to me.