Attention, Attention.
So hard to leave.
"You promised…" Gabe said with hurt eyes. "Why did you do it? Please Kels, answer me." I stared at my feet. "Kellee." I glared up at him, Maja, Trav, and…him. "Answer me, Kels."
"I can't tell you," I murmured. Gabe sighed.
"I can." I looked at the source of the words. William. I tried to send telepathic messages to him, telling him not to tell, but obviously it didn't work. He went on a ramble about…well, everything. I tried to block it out.
"I never loved you," I said bitterly between clenched teeth after they had worked on laying down a few recordings of the song and we were walking outside. Beckett shrugged.
"Yeah you did…sorta, you know?" I shook my head violently.
"Kels…let's go," I heard Gabe say. He took my hand and led me to the car. I stared down at it, not feeling my stomach leap at his touch like I used to. I sighed. I hated this. I hated Beckett for coming back into my life and ruining it all again. I hated myself for letting him. I hated…alright, past the emo shit, onto the drive home.
Memories plagued it.
They were horrible ones.
An awkward silence swallowed the whole vehicle.
Gabe would occasionally clear his throat.
Faces appeared in front of my eyes.
Faces of people I didn’t want to see.
I blocked them out.
The car pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex.
Gabe didn't unlock the doors.
He turned to me.
"Kellee, we need to talk." I stared at my lap. "Kellee, I don't hate you, I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed." He leaned forward, sloppily placing his lips to mine. I winced. "What's the matter, Kels?" I shook my head.
You love him.
I despise him.
You're only lying to yourself.
I gently kissed his cheek, unlocking the car door and walking out. I managed to walk to the apartment, inside, past the kitchen, into the bedroom.
"What are you doing?" I turned and faced Gabe. I shrugged.
"I'm gonna go for a walk." I grabbed a faded pink hoodie, hugging it to myself as I walked out the door. A familiar scent filled my nose. I smelled again. It was the hoodie…the pink one I wore the day Bill first kissed me. A pang of sadness, then guilt, and then…I was alone. I wrapped the hoodie around me, forcing back tears threatening to fall. Memories washed over me. I blocked them out. My vision blurred as tears leaked through my eyelids.
I'm not coming home tonight.
You wanted more than you could have.
We both wanted more.
"I can't tell you," I murmured. Gabe sighed.
"I can." I looked at the source of the words. William. I tried to send telepathic messages to him, telling him not to tell, but obviously it didn't work. He went on a ramble about…well, everything. I tried to block it out.
"I never loved you," I said bitterly between clenched teeth after they had worked on laying down a few recordings of the song and we were walking outside. Beckett shrugged.
"Yeah you did…sorta, you know?" I shook my head violently.
"Kels…let's go," I heard Gabe say. He took my hand and led me to the car. I stared down at it, not feeling my stomach leap at his touch like I used to. I sighed. I hated this. I hated Beckett for coming back into my life and ruining it all again. I hated myself for letting him. I hated…alright, past the emo shit, onto the drive home.
Memories plagued it.
They were horrible ones.
An awkward silence swallowed the whole vehicle.
Gabe would occasionally clear his throat.
Faces appeared in front of my eyes.
Faces of people I didn’t want to see.
I blocked them out.
The car pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex.
Gabe didn't unlock the doors.
He turned to me.
"Kellee, we need to talk." I stared at my lap. "Kellee, I don't hate you, I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed." He leaned forward, sloppily placing his lips to mine. I winced. "What's the matter, Kels?" I shook my head.
You love him.
I despise him.
You're only lying to yourself.
I gently kissed his cheek, unlocking the car door and walking out. I managed to walk to the apartment, inside, past the kitchen, into the bedroom.
"What are you doing?" I turned and faced Gabe. I shrugged.
"I'm gonna go for a walk." I grabbed a faded pink hoodie, hugging it to myself as I walked out the door. A familiar scent filled my nose. I smelled again. It was the hoodie…the pink one I wore the day Bill first kissed me. A pang of sadness, then guilt, and then…I was alone. I wrapped the hoodie around me, forcing back tears threatening to fall. Memories washed over me. I blocked them out. My vision blurred as tears leaked through my eyelids.
I'm not coming home tonight.
You wanted more than you could have.
We both wanted more.