Attention, Attention.
Saying Sorry.
Here I was. Back home, exactly where I didn't want to be. In Gabe's arms, almost fast asleep. I finally took one final yawn, and closed my eyes.
The memories came flooding back. Every time my eyes shut, there his face was. Whether it be laughing because of something Mike said, or if there were tears spilling onto his shirt because his best friend passed away, there it was. It was as though the past was haunting me and trying to kill me with the horrible recollections. I couldn't escape from them.
By 7 am, I had decided that I wasn't going to be able to sleep that night. I needed to get out. And there was only one place to go.
Kylie.
I hadn't seen her in about 2 years. She didn't like Gabe. At all. So she wouldn't come see me. I made sure to leave a not so Gabe didn't panic. So here I was, knocking on her door. Her big smile greeted me.
"Kellee!" she enveloped me in a hug. I smiled feebly in return.
"Hey Kylie," I said. Her eyebrows furrowed.
"Come in," she said, pulling me in the door. I sat on the couch nearest the door. I explained to her everything – how William had suddenly decided to intrude on my life and everything else. She sat there, patiently waiting for me to finish.
"Well, you know I don't like Gabe. Maybe you should just be single for awhile…then maybe talk to Bill? Cause, I think he likes you," she said after I was done.
"Well you thought he liked me last time and he cheated on me," I said, tears brimming my eyes. It was quiet for awhile. I wish she could read minds so I didn't have to explain everything to her.
"You look tired," she said, her voice breaking the silence and startling me. "You can sleep in my room."
The light seeped through the curtains. I squeezed my eyes shut. It took a long time, but I finally fell asleep.
I fumbled with the keys to the apartment. Finally, I was able to push open the door and walk in. I set my stuff on the table by the door, and hung up my jacket.
"Billy boy! I'm home!" I called. It was late. He must be asleep. I walked into the bedroom we shared, immediately wishing I hadn't. There he was. In bed, with a girl. Both were completely stripped of clothes except for his boxers on him and a shirt on the girl. His arm was lazily slung over her body as they slept. I felt a lump rising in my throat, and all I felt was hurt.
"Bill!" I yelled. His eyes fluttered open. He nodded his head slowly. Then his eyes widened, as he looked down at the girl beside him. He sat up quickly.
"I didn't know I was doing it!" he said.
"Of-of course you didn’t!" I screamed, my voice cracking as tears spilled from my eyes. "Bill…please tell me this isn't happening." He got out of the bed, walking over to me. He placed his hands on my shoulders.
"Kellee, I love you, I really didn't mean to," he said, biting his lip. The girl stirred and watched us fight.
"Yeah you do, 'cause people who love each other always go out and fuck other people," I managed to say.
"I'm sorry, Kel…"
"Save your breath. It's over, Bill."
I woke up in a cold sweat. Why did he always haunt me? I just want sleep, dammit. I glanced at the alarm clock. 9. Had I really slept in that long? There was talking from the next room over. I stumbled out of bed, glancing in the mirror and cringing at the sight. I ran my hands through my back to natural brown hair a few times, and rubbed the sleepies out of my eyes. I made my way into the hallway, where the voices got louder. I was in the front room now. The voices came from the kitchen, which was actually about the size of a medium sized walk in closet. I walked in, biting my lip as I saw who was in there. Bill and Kylie.
Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact…
Spit it out. Say sorry, you know you are, you know you need to.
Shut the hell up.
Do it.
"I'll leave you two alone," she said, giving me a grin as she passed by. I glared at her.
William scratched the back of his neck.
He always did that when he was nervous. And when he asked you out, remember? He likes you again.
"I'm sorry I fucked up, I'm sorry for cheating on you, I'm…I'm sorry, Kellee." He stared at his feet. I walked over, and wrapped my arms around his thin frame. I stared up at him. No matter how long it had been, he still towered over me. I was 5'5'', he was at least 6 feet. End of the unimportant details, back to the story. He leaned down and kissed my cheek, bringing me closer. I had missed his hugs. I buried my head in his shoulder.
"I'm sorry too."
The memories came flooding back. Every time my eyes shut, there his face was. Whether it be laughing because of something Mike said, or if there were tears spilling onto his shirt because his best friend passed away, there it was. It was as though the past was haunting me and trying to kill me with the horrible recollections. I couldn't escape from them.
By 7 am, I had decided that I wasn't going to be able to sleep that night. I needed to get out. And there was only one place to go.
Kylie.
I hadn't seen her in about 2 years. She didn't like Gabe. At all. So she wouldn't come see me. I made sure to leave a not so Gabe didn't panic. So here I was, knocking on her door. Her big smile greeted me.
"Kellee!" she enveloped me in a hug. I smiled feebly in return.
"Hey Kylie," I said. Her eyebrows furrowed.
"Come in," she said, pulling me in the door. I sat on the couch nearest the door. I explained to her everything – how William had suddenly decided to intrude on my life and everything else. She sat there, patiently waiting for me to finish.
"Well, you know I don't like Gabe. Maybe you should just be single for awhile…then maybe talk to Bill? Cause, I think he likes you," she said after I was done.
"Well you thought he liked me last time and he cheated on me," I said, tears brimming my eyes. It was quiet for awhile. I wish she could read minds so I didn't have to explain everything to her.
"You look tired," she said, her voice breaking the silence and startling me. "You can sleep in my room."
The light seeped through the curtains. I squeezed my eyes shut. It took a long time, but I finally fell asleep.
I fumbled with the keys to the apartment. Finally, I was able to push open the door and walk in. I set my stuff on the table by the door, and hung up my jacket.
"Billy boy! I'm home!" I called. It was late. He must be asleep. I walked into the bedroom we shared, immediately wishing I hadn't. There he was. In bed, with a girl. Both were completely stripped of clothes except for his boxers on him and a shirt on the girl. His arm was lazily slung over her body as they slept. I felt a lump rising in my throat, and all I felt was hurt.
"Bill!" I yelled. His eyes fluttered open. He nodded his head slowly. Then his eyes widened, as he looked down at the girl beside him. He sat up quickly.
"I didn't know I was doing it!" he said.
"Of-of course you didn’t!" I screamed, my voice cracking as tears spilled from my eyes. "Bill…please tell me this isn't happening." He got out of the bed, walking over to me. He placed his hands on my shoulders.
"Kellee, I love you, I really didn't mean to," he said, biting his lip. The girl stirred and watched us fight.
"Yeah you do, 'cause people who love each other always go out and fuck other people," I managed to say.
"I'm sorry, Kel…"
"Save your breath. It's over, Bill."
I woke up in a cold sweat. Why did he always haunt me? I just want sleep, dammit. I glanced at the alarm clock. 9. Had I really slept in that long? There was talking from the next room over. I stumbled out of bed, glancing in the mirror and cringing at the sight. I ran my hands through my back to natural brown hair a few times, and rubbed the sleepies out of my eyes. I made my way into the hallway, where the voices got louder. I was in the front room now. The voices came from the kitchen, which was actually about the size of a medium sized walk in closet. I walked in, biting my lip as I saw who was in there. Bill and Kylie.
Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact…
Spit it out. Say sorry, you know you are, you know you need to.
Shut the hell up.
Do it.
"I'll leave you two alone," she said, giving me a grin as she passed by. I glared at her.
William scratched the back of his neck.
He always did that when he was nervous. And when he asked you out, remember? He likes you again.
"I'm sorry I fucked up, I'm sorry for cheating on you, I'm…I'm sorry, Kellee." He stared at his feet. I walked over, and wrapped my arms around his thin frame. I stared up at him. No matter how long it had been, he still towered over me. I was 5'5'', he was at least 6 feet. End of the unimportant details, back to the story. He leaned down and kissed my cheek, bringing me closer. I had missed his hugs. I buried my head in his shoulder.
"I'm sorry too."