A Kiss And I Will Surrender.

Gerard P.O.V
I was devastated. My whole world had just come crashing down around me.
I couldn’t talk to Frank, couldn’t look at him. He was partly to blame for this.
If I hadn’t fallen in love with him, I never would’ve told my wife there was someone else. She’d told me she’d take me back, if I’d tell her who it was. I couldn’t do that. To admit to her that I’d fallen for Frank would be too much. I told her that it was a girl I’d dated in high school. She slapped me, I deserved it. Then she told me in no uncertain terms that she hated my guts and that I could rot in Hell. I deserved that too. Admitting I’d never loved her was the hardest thing. She pushed me, screamed at me, until I admitted it. She threw her wedding ring at me. That was it.
I didn’t have to pack my bags, she did that for me. Told me I could fuck off back to Jersey and go knock up my little slut. I told her it wasn’t like that. That earned me another slap. She hit me again and again. I deserved every second.
She was still screaming at me as I walked to my car. I took another verbal lashing, before she flipped me the bird and I drove off, hardly able to see from the tears in my eyes.
The woman at the airport desk told me that the only way I could go home was to get a flight to Texas and connect to Jersey. I took it. I was not going back to that house.
Frank was the only person I could call. Mikey was away with his wife. I was too upset to call Mom and Dad, and Frank was my best friend, best option.
Frank pulled up in his driveway. I didn’t look at him, just slid out of my seat, went to the trunk of the car for my bags. He helped me carry them.
It had been a while since I’d been to Franks house. They’d changed it a bit. Had some interior work done. New colour in most of the rooms. The living room was red, very Frank.
I parked myself on the bed in the bedroom he led me to. It was big. Looked out on the back yard, was painted a cheery blue. Black would’ve suited my humour a little bit more at that moment.
“Gee… Are you okay?” he asked, sitting down beside me.
I didn’t look at him, kept my eyes on my feet in the meditation pose I was holding. “Yeah, peachy.” I mumbled.
He sighed. “Can I get you anything? Soda? Food? You haven’t eaten today have you?”
“Soda I guess.” I muttered, wanting him out of the room even for a moment.
I couldn’t help looking at him as he left. He’d done something with his hair. It was black, a little more spiky at the back, suited him. He had a few more tattoos too. He was wearing a red plaid shirt and ripped blue jeans. His wife was one lucky woman.
He returned and handed me a fizzy raspberry soda, my favourite. He flopped down on the bed and cracked open his own soda. Apple, I might have guessed.
“So… How’s things up here?” I asked, staring at the design on my can.
“Rocky.” He sighed. “We’re kinda unofficially on a break. Well not really a break. But she’s gone for a week away with the girls, cos I was driving her nuts apparently.” He didn’t sound happy.
“Oh… Well… That’s not so bad… Is it?” I was actually interested in this topic. I’d never liked Franks wife. Bit of a snob as far as I was concerned. She didn’t treat Frank very well either.
“Yeah kinda. She wants to do marriage counselling.”
“Do you wanna?” I was able to look at him from under my fringe now. I couldn’t feel any anger for him.
“If its over, its over.” he sighed, and I could tell he didn’t want to broach the subject any more.
I tried to cheer him up. “We should do something.”
“Like what?” he said a little taken aback.
“I dunno… Uh… X Box?”
Frank gave me a weak smile. I knew how much he loved playing X Box.
So we went to the bright red living room. He picked Guitar Hero, I knew he would. He conceded to let me play Halo with him later.
I kicked his ass at Guitar Hero, maybe because Frank was being Frank and was bashing the shit out of his guitar while I was calmly sitting in the armchair frowning at the screen.
He gave up after I kicked his ass at seven songs, and collapsed out of breath onto the sofa.
“We suck.” I laughed. I couldn’t believe I was laughing. I was miserable, but I was laughing just because I was with Frank.
He laughed too. Smiled that irresistible cheesy smile of his.
We hadn’t realised how late it was, nearly two in the morning. Frank was nodding off on the couch, so I told him to go to bed, I’d go later. He hugged me goodnight, before stumbling up the stairs.
He’d been drinking, I could smell it off him.
Being nosey, I went into the kitchen just to see.
In the refrigerator, there were three six packs of beer. In the trash, there were seven six packs of beer, at least.
I knew Frank, and the Frank I knew did not drink that much.
I decided to investigate further. I headed up to his room.
He wasn’t asleep. That was surprising.
“Whasup?” He asked a little confused when I entered the room.
“Frank… How much have you had to drink today?”
“Uh… A few cans.”
“How many is a few?” I asked.
“Couple of six packs.”
“Why are you drinking so much?” I asked, crouching down beside his head.
“I just have some shit goin’ on Gee.”
“Like what?” I pressed.
“Just shit.” he said. He was being all tight. It was always bad when Frank wouldn’t spill to me.
“Is it about the fights?” I asked, remembering his relationship trouble.
“Kinda.”
At least I was getting somewhere.
“C’mon Frankie! You can tell me.” I pleaded. He sighed.
“I love someone else.”
That took me aback. I’d never seen Frank as the type of person that’d get into that type of position.
“Oh… Who? Do I know her?”
“Yeah… You do know them… But I don’t wanna talk about this right now, I’m totally fried.”
“Oh… Okay… See you in the morning.” I said, standing up as he rolled over to face the wall.
I went to my room, sat on the bed. So Franks marriage was on the rocks. He’d fallen for someone else. I could emphasise with him there. Except he’d fallen for another girl. Probably drop dead gorgeous, I knew the type of girls Frank used to hook before he was married. He said I knew her. I started profiling all the women I knew in my head. It wasn’t a reasonable thing to do, I realised. There were too many possibilities.
I didn’t sleep well. I worried for Frank. I worried for my ex. I wondered who Franks new woman was. It was going to kill me to see him with yet another girl, to see someone else have what I wanted so badly. But I was keeping my secret, Frank was never going to find out how I felt about him, and when he told me who this girl was, I was going to support him, because I had no other option.
Why couldn’t I have been born a girl?