What a Bunch of Fools We Lovers Are

Arming Venus, if I had to describe them in one word, were rough. But Gavin's voice sent me somewhere I didn't want to leave. Soon, I couldn't hear anything except him and his guitar, and it sounded like he was singing exclusively to me. It was bliss.

The first two songs passed too quickly in that manner, but the third I recognized. Bulls Make Money, Bears Make Money, Pigs Get Slaughtered was one of my personal favorite songs by Chiodos, a band I'd been fond of for years, and even though the rest of the guys in Arming Venus sort of wrecked it, Gavin sounded beautiful, and I would have loved nothing more than for him to sing me that song for the rest of my life.

"I'm forever yours," he sang, and as he said, "You're wearing your skin like it's too tight," he looked at me (for real this time!) and smiled. He must have noticed the way I yelled my heart out on that line, and perhaps he knew subconsciously that the next part was my favorite, because he walked up right next to me and pressed his cheek to mine. It stuck to me with sweat, but I wouldn't have minded if it never came off again. This was a dream come true.

He put the microphone to our lips, and we sang, "There she was, reflecting so brightly the warmth that she installs. There she was; we were infinite for a moment." I came as close to the high notes as a drunken archer to his target, and I felt for a moment that I didn't belong here, next to him, but I knew, somehow, that this was as right a moment as my entire life would ever contain.

At the end of the chorus, he tried to shoot back to the center of the stage, but his arm remained in my grip. If only for this moment, he was mine. I had to make the most of it I could.

My lips aimed for his but missed, and my kiss landed on the corner of his mouth. Then I released him, but for a split second, he didn't move; he just stood there, looking at me, his expression unchanging. Only when it occurred to him that he was in the middle of a song did he shake it off with a laugh and continue the show.

Though I couldn't get the smile off my face, I kept wondering what he was thinking. The only evidence I had was his laugh. But a laugh can mean so many things, from mocking to happiness to simple amusement. And how was I to know which he felt?

Watching Gavin performing on stage as excellently as ever, it seemed to me that my kiss had gone completely unnoticed, not only by the band, but also by the crowd, who were paying no mind to me and enjoying the music just as before. It was as though the kiss had been all in my head, and that it hadn't actually happened at all.

When the song ended, Gavin looked at me again and laughed. Such a cute, genuine laugh... but what did it mean? I could feel the eyes of the audience on me as he said, "Think I could get your number after the show?" I should have been embarrassed or something, but I only laughed. Just before he started his next song, another Arming Venus original, so discreetly, and obviously only for me, he winked.

A wink is not like a laugh. A wink is a gesture that has one meaning only, but a meaning that's known solely between the winker and the winked at.