What a Bunch of Fools We Lovers Are
V.
I woke up the next morning to the smell of a poor breakfast in the making. Of course, Parker was not snoring at my side. No, he was burning the house down as well as some eggs and bacon. Sitting up slowly and wincing as my back cracked a few times—ah, the joys of sleeping on a thin carpet—I decided I'd better go help him.
Running up his basement steps, I shouted, "Parker, couldn't you have picked something easier to make for breakfast? A bowl of cereal?" Upstairs, I found the kitchen full of smoke, without Parker in it. I turned off the stove and opened a window to clear away some of the smoke so I could see just how burnt Parker's breakfast was. Ash was hardly discernable from egg, so even though Parker might still have eaten it, I threw it away, fixed two cups of coffee—straight black for Parker, and black with sugar for me—and set off to find the arsonist.
When I opened the door to the living room and saw that he was sitting on the couch channel surfing, I yelled, "You idiot! You are so lucky Susan isn't home right now, or she would kill you!"
"What?" he responded, turning around to face me. I pointed into the kitchen at the alarming amount of smoke, which was slightly receding thanks to me. "Oh, bacon's done. Would you get that for me?"
"There was no bacon left in the pan," I told him. "Everything was charred because you left it on about an hour too long!"
He shrugged. "Did you put more on?"
"No." I sat down next to him on the couch and handed him his cup of coffee.
Only three seconds passed before we heard some impatient person continuously knocking on the door.
"Who would visit you at nine in the morning?" I asked.
"No clue," Parker said. "Are you gonna get it?"
I got up and glared at him. "You lazy fuck," I muttered, and walked off to answer the door. I became quite irritated when I saw that the door was not locked. Wouldn't you think that as badly as this lunatic wanted in, he would at least try to open the door himself? But no, he annoyingly persisted in rapidly pounding on the door. How obvious it was that this was one of Parker's idiot friends. Rolling my eyes and walking back toward the kitchen to check on my toast, I shouted, "Come in!"
I heard the door open behind me and didn't bother to check who the jerk was. I just hoped I didn't know him because, if I did, he would be in for a rude awakening. I was not a happy camper on any given morning, so when I had to deal with two ignorant curs first thing in the morning, I could be most unpleasant.
"Serenity," said the soft voice behind me, a voice I had wished so many times I would never hear again. Fighting to retain my sanity, I kept walking, pretending I didn't hear him. Obviously, he wasn't buying it—he knew me too well, and he also knew how much I hated him, so he didn't say anything else. I pictured him standing there with a forlorn look on his face, wishing he could pursue me but knowing he couldn't. I could have easily looked back to prove myself right, but frankly, I didn't want to know.
Running up his basement steps, I shouted, "Parker, couldn't you have picked something easier to make for breakfast? A bowl of cereal?" Upstairs, I found the kitchen full of smoke, without Parker in it. I turned off the stove and opened a window to clear away some of the smoke so I could see just how burnt Parker's breakfast was. Ash was hardly discernable from egg, so even though Parker might still have eaten it, I threw it away, fixed two cups of coffee—straight black for Parker, and black with sugar for me—and set off to find the arsonist.
When I opened the door to the living room and saw that he was sitting on the couch channel surfing, I yelled, "You idiot! You are so lucky Susan isn't home right now, or she would kill you!"
"What?" he responded, turning around to face me. I pointed into the kitchen at the alarming amount of smoke, which was slightly receding thanks to me. "Oh, bacon's done. Would you get that for me?"
"There was no bacon left in the pan," I told him. "Everything was charred because you left it on about an hour too long!"
He shrugged. "Did you put more on?"
"No." I sat down next to him on the couch and handed him his cup of coffee.
Only three seconds passed before we heard some impatient person continuously knocking on the door.
"Who would visit you at nine in the morning?" I asked.
"No clue," Parker said. "Are you gonna get it?"
I got up and glared at him. "You lazy fuck," I muttered, and walked off to answer the door. I became quite irritated when I saw that the door was not locked. Wouldn't you think that as badly as this lunatic wanted in, he would at least try to open the door himself? But no, he annoyingly persisted in rapidly pounding on the door. How obvious it was that this was one of Parker's idiot friends. Rolling my eyes and walking back toward the kitchen to check on my toast, I shouted, "Come in!"
I heard the door open behind me and didn't bother to check who the jerk was. I just hoped I didn't know him because, if I did, he would be in for a rude awakening. I was not a happy camper on any given morning, so when I had to deal with two ignorant curs first thing in the morning, I could be most unpleasant.
"Serenity," said the soft voice behind me, a voice I had wished so many times I would never hear again. Fighting to retain my sanity, I kept walking, pretending I didn't hear him. Obviously, he wasn't buying it—he knew me too well, and he also knew how much I hated him, so he didn't say anything else. I pictured him standing there with a forlorn look on his face, wishing he could pursue me but knowing he couldn't. I could have easily looked back to prove myself right, but frankly, I didn't want to know.