Without a Sound

When we got back inside, Mikey asked if I was hungry. I shook my head, even though I probably should have said yes so he would eat, too. I just wanted to sleep.

He waited for me to change into my new pajamas, then he came in to say goodnight. I looked towards the wall against his room and asked apprehensively, “Will you be alright in there by yourself?”

Mikey laughed. “Probably not,” he replied honestly. “Just wake me up if I bug you.”

I frowned, but that didn’t last for long. I couldn’t frown when he kissed me just to the right of my lips. It was hard to keep my composure when all I wanted was for him to move a little to the left. I could’ve moved to the right, but I didn’t want to scare him away.

Instead I closed my eyes and imagined he was really kissing me. I didn’t know what it would feel like, though, so I didn’t have much to imagine.

“G’night,” he said, casually brushing my hair out of my face before standing up to leave.

“Good night,” I answered, watching him walk out of the door once again. I started to worry about how bad his nightmares would be, but I fell asleep before I could get very imaginative.

I woke up to a thump coming from Mikey’s room. I analyzed the position of his blood. Maybe his hand had hit the headboard in his sleep. He was definitely tossing around enough for that to be more than possible. I got up quickly, and concern ate its way through my stomach.

I swiftly made my way to the hall, opened his door, and stood beside his bed. His expression was stressed, and it made his face look older. His eyebrows were squeezed close together tensely, he was muttering unintelligible words, and droplets f sweat ran down his face and soaked his hair.

I looked down at his lips and felt extremely tempted. He was asleep anyways. Why not? I asked myself. I wiped the sweat from his cheeks and brushed the hair off his forehead. Then very lightly, I kissed him.

His lips were soft, like rose petals. He stopped muttering instantly, and I knew he was waking up. He groaned, so with an internal sigh I pulled away. I thought he might be mad at me for kissing him, but instead he just grumbled, “I’m not still dreaming, am I?” without even opening his eyes.

“No,” I replied, perplexed.

“Sorry I woke you up again, then,” he said. “I won’t bother you again. You can go back to sleep now.”

“No,” I stated stubbornly.

This made him open his eyes. They were dark and tortured, but there was also a glint of softness in them. “Why not, Charlotte.” He didn’t really ask the question; it was more of a statement, like he already knew I wasn’t budging.

“Because you’ll just have more stupid nightmares!” I exclaimed.

Mikey sighed, saying, “Yeah. But there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“Wrong,” I retorted curtly. “I’ll be back.”

I went back to my bed. After tearing off two blankets and grabbing a pillow, I went back to Mikey’s room and made myself a little bed on the floor next to him. He watched me without saying a word.

When I stretched out and set my head on the pillow, he sighed dramatically. “We don’t even know if this will work or not.”

“Exactly!” I agreed. “We know there’s a chance it will.”

His tired eye met my determined ones for a long minute. He soon gave in, though. “Fine. Have it your way,” he huffed. I smiled victoriously when he closed his eyes and set his head on his pillow. I closed mine, too.

Neither of us fell asleep. I was too focused on his breathing, how close he was, and… how it had felt to kiss him. I tried to imagine what it would be like to kiss him while he was awake, to have him kiss back.

At first, I didn’t know why he wasn’t falling asleep either. Then he whispered curiously, “Why did you kiss me?” So must have been thinking about that. Neither of us opened our eyes, so I was free to smile at the memory before it hit me that he had indeed been conscious while I was still kissing him.

“I just… I needed… I was just trying to wake you up,” I stuttered quietly. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he replied so quietly even I, with my keen hearing, barely heard him. I almost felt his muscles relax as he fell asleep. I didn’t know what to make of his last two words, even though I thought them over a hundred times before I too submitted to my exhaustion.

I had the same dream over and over that night. Although I knew I was dreaming it, I couldn’t stop myself. I just kept seeing the faces of Mikey, Ivy, Sylvia, Celia, Gerard, Adam, and even myself. Each face smiled, but tears fell from their eyes. Then the next appeared. And although I couldn’t see his face, I knew the vampire who killed our families was who was making them cry, and I wanted him to stop.

Despite my troubling dream, I smiled when I woke up. Mikey was lying peacefully on his stomach with one arm falling off the bed. The hand connected to that arm was holding my hand tightly, even though he was asleep.

Once again, he had slept without trouble because of me. I liked that a lot. Maybe he did love me. Maybe Celia was right, and he just didn’t know it yet. Maybe he did know, but it was hard for him to admit it. I would wait and see. What else could I do?

I knew when he was starting to wake up. His finger twitched, his tongue moved. Finally opening his eyes, he mumbled, “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” I said back, thrilled that he hadn’t let go of my hand even now that we were both awake. “And how did you sleep, Mister ‘we don’t even know if this will work or not?’”

He laughed, looking happier than he had in a while. “Better once you came in, to be honest, Miss ‘there’s a chance it will.’ And you?”

“Not too bad,” I replied even though it was slightly a lie. He was in such a good mood now that it wasn’t worth it.

“That’s good,” he stated, and then he looked at our linked hands. I looked at them took, and then our eyes met again. “Are you going to go visit Celia again today?”

I shook my head. “I thought I’d stay here, if that’s okay with you. Maybe we could both go visit them tomorrow. I want to see Adam and Gerard, too.”

He was trying to hide how pleased he was. Trying, but not succeeding. “Sound perfect,” he assured me.