You're Attractive but Bitter

[CALEB’S POV]

Just as I walked out of her door, I knew that I was about to step out of her life completely. We’re bound to see each other every now and then knowing that Kyle is her cousin and Blake is her friend but she won’t see me as anything special. I know that this is practically one big hunch but I know that’s what’s going to happen since well, I’ve been through all this messed up shit again and again. Trust me this wasn’t the first time. I mean this was the first real relationship I’ve had in years but it wasn’t the very first. I walked to my car trying to get past all the thoughts of getting her back since obviously, her mind’s made up and well that’s never going to happen. I can’t believe that I actually thought that I wouldn’t screw this up and thought that she would be the one to commit all the mistakes but I’m never really right now am I? I know that this memory will sting and it will create a scar somewhere deep inside of me but to get through life, you need to experience right, and then learn from it? Then I guess I’m on the right path. I know that she doesn’t deserve all this pain and all the things I’ve caused but it all just happened. I mean it’s not as if I planned it all. It was all a mere coincidence and well I really, really was going to tell her but then Blake rushed the whole thing so it’s his fault and not mine.

Now I know that I’m really not supposed to blame anyone and I’ve gone over this already for like a thousand times but it just keeps repeating itself nonstop and somehow, my brain is functioning on it’s own and my conscience is locked up somewhere in it. I’ve never realized that this would hurt so badly but I’m good at faking so I guess this won’t be such a big deal. My thoughts are all messed up and I don’t think I’ll be able to think straight, hence all that senseless rambles I’ve been rambling about but I guess this is all part of the aftermath.
Before I could get away, Kyle came out of his house and walked over to me. He knocked on my car window and so I rolled it down. He had this somewhat disappointed look on his face meaning he probably heard about the news already. Well, I wouldn’t really be surprised since I was just pacing on Kate’s front yard for about thirty minutes and besides news like this always spread like wild fire. Next thing you know, the whole band will be chattering away about this and then maybe it’ll reach the fans and then the whole world. That was fine by me but I don’t know if Kate wants all that publicity unless of course she’s a vain whore.

“And this is why I told you to-”

“Look, I know I screwed the fuck up okay so just back off and let me deal with my situation.” I stated as I cut him off mid sentence and without further ado, I rolled the window back up and drove off.

I really didn’t know where I was headed but all I knew was that I was going somewhere far away from anyone who knew me personally. I didn’t want to get beat up today. Not when I’m already down in the dumps. I needed to just get away and try to relax and just think.
I only had one question to think about practically but I needed a lot of time to think about it. It’s like one of those really hard to answer kinda questions you get on an exam and you need total concentration and total focus the really answer the question properly and that’s why I’m driving back to that deserted apartment building so I can sit on the roof and just think about it.

Once I parked my car in the parking lot beside the building, I started toddling up the stairs in a slow and steady pace. I practically spent about 10 minutes climbing two flights of stairs and then another 10 minutes to climb the rest. I guess my pace wasn’t that steady at all. When I reached the top, I threw the door open and felt the cool breeze slap across my face. I slowly sauntered over to the ledge and looked around.

“Uh, hi?” A girl with long brown corkscrew curls, blue green eyes and a slender body said awkwardly. I took in more of her physical appearance before responding to her.

“Hey,” to me this felt kinda awkward since well, I thought I was the only one who knew about this place but then I guess I was wrong, again.

A few seconds of silence passed before she started to talk again. “M-my name’s Blaire.” She stammered moving forward as she placed her hand out for me to shake.

“Caleb,” I said casually as I took her in and placed it in mine. “That’s a nice name you got there,”

“Thanks,” she said blushing and showing off a sheepish smile.

We started to make small talk and ask each other why we were here on this apartment building and how we found out about it and somehow there was a common factor. We both lived here once upon a time. Once this place shut down and went out of business, we both went our separate ways not even knowing that we both were once in the same building.

“So well I kinda have to go but can I have your number so we can keep in touch?” she asked and I was kinda surprised. Wasn’t the guy supposed to make that move?

“Yea sure,” I said and then we exchanged digits.

I smiled at her knowing that my charm was already working. I didn’t want to impress anyone else or better yet have someone blush at something I said like that but I don’t even know how to control it so how was I supposed to stop myself? Girls are so easy sometimes and for some reason, I’m like the best fisherman out there catching all the big fish and right now, I didn’t want that position. I wanted to somehow take a break but I guess once a great fisherman, always a great fisherman. Stupid analysis, I know but I hardly knew how this all worked so well, I guess all I can say is, what now?