You're Attractive but Bitter

“Wake up, sunshine! It’s a brand new day!” Jonathan practically screamed in my ear.

“Okay, okay! I’m up, quiet down, please,” I jumped up from the couch, startled.

I looked at Jonathan as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. He was already fully dressed and the rest of the guys except Caleb and Kyle were already heading out of the bus. I never knew guys their age could do such a thing so early in the morning. But then again, it might already be late in the morning since I didn’t know what time it was.

“Oooh, did I wake Mrs. Grumpy up?” he said as he wiggled his fingers right in front of me. Maybe he placed too much sugar in his Cheerios this morning. It was seriously creeping me out.

“Whatever,” I said rolling my eyes as I got up and walked past him to see if there was anything to eat in the fridge. “What time is it?” I asked grabbing the big carton of milk.

“9:30,” Caleb’s voice pitched in.

I got my head out of the fridge to see if Caleb was really there but when I pulled my head out and spun around, I bumped right into him. Jonathan was nowhere to be found. At least the milk didn’t fall and hit the ground. That would’ve been more embarrassing.

“Sorry,” I said blushing as he laughed.

“It’s okay,” he said taking a seat on the table where a box of Cap’n Crunch stood.

“Did you eat yet?” I asked placing the milk on the table and then grabbing two bowls and two spoons.

“Nope,” I thought so.

I sat right across him and handed him a bowl and a spoon. He pushed the box towards me and I smiled in gratitude. I placed some cereal into my bowl and watched as he poured in the milk first.

I gave him a questioning look but he just shrugged it off with a smile.A very cute smile.

“Oh and thanks,” I said as we exchanged.

“For what?” he asked pouring some cereal into his bowl.

“Um, the time,” I reminded and he nodded and smiled.He should really stop smiling.It could kill me one day.

We ate breakfast in silence. But from time to time, I could feel him staring at me. It was like one of those moments where you want to start a conversation but its either you don’t know how to start it or you don’t know what to talk about. But don’t get me wrong, I’m so not comfortable sitting here with him right now. I mean I know we might be friends and all but it still feels sorta awkward being with him after everything that happened but then again, the past is the past and we all have to keep moving forward no matter what, right?

“Yo, Cuz!” Kyle greeted as he came in with nothing but his boxers on.

“Dude put some pants on,” Caleb said almost making me spit out the cereal I fed myself. “Hello, lady on the bus.” At this statement, I just kinda stopped and stared but then quickly looked away when he caught me.

Was he really trying his best to change his ways or is he just putting on a show? Either way, we’re still going to end up friends.But why does it matter to me so much?

“Nah, I’m sure Kate’s fine with it,” he said nudging me as he passed by. “Right, Kate?” he asked looking for some reassurance. I just giggled as I continued to munch on my breakfast.

“So what time are you guys going to perform?” I asked as soon as I finished my bowl. I placed the things I used to eat in the sink where all the other dishes were. I should probably do them later.

“Well, we don’t go on until like 5:30,” Kyle said rocking his chair back making it lean on the counter that was right behind him.

“Oh, okay,” I said.

I turned away from them and got some clothes, necessities and a towel from my bag. I walked into the bathroom and planned to take a quick shower. I was just about to take my clothes off when I heard Kyle and Caleb talking. About me.

I put my ear on the door and listened intently to everything they were saying.

“I don’t know, man, I guess we’re fine now. We’re talking so I guess that’s a good sign.” Caleb said with a sigh.

“Why aren’t you all happy about it then?” Kyle asked him and then I heard a thud. Must be the chair he was rocking.

“Well, don’t get this the wrong way, I mean I know she’s your cousin but I really can’t help myself.” His voice sounded desperate.

“Dude, just leave her out of this, okay? And keep your dick in your pants,” Kyle said getting up and walking away from the kitchen. He passed the bathroom quickly and I heard Caleb sigh.

“Oh, if only you knew how hard it is to do what you just said, maybe you’d understand.” Caleb said talking to himself as he got up.

I quickly turned on the shower and got in it after taking all my clothes off hoping he didn’t notice anything. I started washing my hair with the shampoo I brought along with me and soon the whole place started smelling like wild strawberries. I indulged in the sweet smell as I washed it all off. Then, I rubbed some soap all over my body. I was beginning to think this day would turn out to be great. But that’s when I thought of Blake.

I can’t believe I actually forgot about him. I sighed to myself as I quickly washed every trace of soap on me and brushing my teeth.

I dried myself with my towel and changed into my clothes. Once I was fully dressed, I picked up the clothes I used yesterday and everything else I brought into the bathroom and stuffed them all on top of my bag. Then, I grabbed a brush and started blow-drying my hair with the blow-dryer that was in the bathroom. It was weird that they kept one but I guess since I can benefit from it too, I shouldn’t complain.

Once I was through and fully prepared to face Blake, I grabbed my phone and placed it in my pocket and turned my iPod shuffle on and started listening to some music. I put my hair up in a messy ponytail and then went to look for my best friend.

It wasn’t really that hard to find him since he’s the merch guy for the band. I just had to look for the merch stand and then I’d find him.

“Blake!” I called out from a long distance as I turned my iPod off and then rolled the earphones and placed it in my pocket. He shot me a glance as I jogged all the way to where he was standing. He didn’t look happy.

Once I got into the booth beside him, he started fixing up the piles of shirts that were in a really big mess. “What do you want?” he said in a deep and sullen tone.

I looked at him and furrowed my eyebrows in anxiety. “I want to talk about what happened last night,” I stated and he looked at me with an expression I didn’t really get.

“Yeah, what about it?” he asked turning fully to face me. He crossed his arms against his chest and leaned his side to the table with all the FTSK merchandise.

“Well, Caleb and I aren’t together. We’re just friends and when you saw us hugging, that didn’t mean anything deeper than friendship.” I reassured him.

A wave of relief showed on his face but he wouldn’t let this go that easy. Knowing him, he’d always make you take the long way instead of the short cut.

“Okay, and then?” he asked and I looked at him in confusion. He wanted more?

“Um, well-”

“Look, Kate I don’t have all day here. I don’t have any time to waste. See those people over there, they’re costumers wanting to buy some of this shit and that means money not only for the band but for me as well.” He said turning away from me as he entertained the customers.

The costumers consisted of three girls who looked like they wanted to get into Blake’s pants. The way they flirted with him almost made me want to barf but I guess this isn’t something new to Blake. I mean he is pretty handsome.

“Thanks for the tip,” he said winking at the slutty-looking blonde who showed too much cleavage. Her parents should be ashamed of her.

Once they all went away, the fake, synthetic act Blake had to put up was gone and now, he was back to being all moody and poignant.

“Look, Blake, I’m really sorry, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?” I asked in desperation as I tried to figure out why exactly he was acting this way.

“Kate, I don’t want your apology. You can’t simply forgive that guy for what he put you through,” he said angrily.

“Oh so is that what you’re so angry about?” I spat. “There’s a reason why I forgave him you know,”

“So that he can play you all over again? Yeah, sure, I hope you have the time of your life with that,” he said sarcastically and I swear, if I wasn’t in a really open and public place, I would’ve slapped him right across the face.

“Why are you doing this, Blake?” I asked him as the tears started welling up. “You never gave a damn about who I made friends with and I never commented on your exes so why now?”

“Kate, I care about you and I don’t want to see you hurt.” He said softly looking into the distance not wanting to meet my eyes.

“Well that’s ironic,” I said rolling my eyes as he looked at me.

“Why?” he demanded but from the tone of his voice, I think he already knew the answer to his question.

I stayed quiet as he shook his head. He sat on the monoblock chair that was right behind him as he looked up at me. I didn’t want to have to converse with him anymore so I turned on my heel and started walking away but he didn’t let me take a step.

“Wait, Kate,” he said holding my arm back. He sighed calmly as he pulled me down to the seat beside him. “I’m sorry,” he said letting his hand slip down to mine. He gripped it tightly making me look up as a tear fell from my eye.

“Hey, don’t start crying now,” he said chuckling as he pulled me into a hug. The chairs sorta got in our way so we had to get up.

More tears started falling as Blake held me in his arms. He felt warm and firm. I breathed in the scent of him as I let the tears from my face. He pulled away for awhile and cupped my face with his hands as he tried to wipe away all my tears with his thumbs. He looked me in the eyes before smiling and pulling me back into his arms.

I pulled away from him as soon as my tears started to slow down.

“I didn’t say you could let go,” he said with a scowl on his face.

“You have customers,” I croaked as I tilted my head to the left.

He smirked at me as he went to entertain more girls who wanted him for themselves. I told him I’d be right back. As soon as I got out of my chair, I went to the nearest place to get some water. Luckily I had some bills in my pocket but I didn’t really know how that got there. I paid for the bottle of water and twisted the cap and drank the contents.

Once I was replenished, I turned to throw the empty bottle in the trash can but as soon as I looked up, the same blonde hoebag who flirted with Blake and bought an extra small shirt – which I doubt will fit her – was standing right in front of me.

“What’s up?” she said in a bitchy manner.

“Uh, nothing,” I said and she smirked.

“I saw you getting all sweet over my boyfriend today, what’s up with that, huh?” she said crossing her arms over her chest making her boobs look really huge and gross.

“Um, your boyfriend?” I asked unknowingly and she scoffed.

“Look bitch, stay away from him if you don’t want any trouble from me,” she said with so much authority over me. I wonder where she might have snagged that from.

“Um, you can’t tell me who to not hang out with. You don’t even know me.” I said and then she started to go from Ms. Pissed to Ms. Really-Fucking-Pissed in just a few seconds.

She gave exhaled deeply before storming off. Weirdo.

“What was that about?” Caleb asked startling me again from behind.

“God, you have to stop doing that,” I said and he chuckled. I caught my breath before answering his question. “Some slut’s tryna tell me to back off Blake since he’s her ‘boyfriend’” I air quoted.

“Oh, so you’re all gangsta’ now?” he asked with hand motions. “You gon’ kill that bitch with a shot gun?” he continued making me crack up.

“No,” I said rolling my eyes as soon as I stopped laughing. “It’s just weird how she thinks she has so much authority over me.”

“I’m sure she won’t be bugging you tomorrow,” he said and I looked at him with confusion.

“How do you know that?” I asked him.

He just shrugged and told me that somehow he knew. I smirked at him.

“So where are you headed to?” he asked me as we started walking.

“Um, I was just about to go back to the merch tent,” I said placing my hands in my pocket.

“Oh, why don’t you come with me for a while?” he asked me and I really did want to go but then I realized I told Blake that I was going to be right back.

“But I told Blake-”

“Just send him a text, I’m sure he’ll understand.” Caleb said as he placed an arm around my shoulder.

I did as I was told and told Blake that Caleb asked me to walk with him. I wasn’t sure about what he was going to say about that but I hope that he’ll understand and that this won’t cause another fight between us.

Knowing that maybe this thing with Caleb might turn into something more than friendship kinda scared me. The way he talked to Kyle a while ago had me running terrified. But something in me tells me that I should give him another shot but what happens if Blake was right all along?