The College Stalker

‘Slow down, you crazy child
You’re so ambitious for a juvenile
But tell me – if you’re so smart then why are you still so afraid?’

The teacher droned on with her notes. I made a half-hearted attempt to write down what she was dictating. It little mattered to me. My boyfriend of seventeen months and I had broken up. Well, it had been my fault, and I did want it to end. But his calling me a bitch and a whore didn’t exactly help me. I felt so depressed from inside.
A bitter tear rolled down my cheeks and fell on my lap.
“Are you alright, Aria?” Sheila asked me.
I nodded my head firmly even though inside I was bruised. Hurt to the very core. No one could heal that pain. Not even God himself, for I knew who was to be blamed this time.
“Is anything the matter?” asked the Professor suddenly looking up from her notes. She spotted Sheila looking at me in concern. A sharp check told her I was in a vulnerable frame of mind, for she came towards our bench and stood there, towering over us.
“Aria, I want you to go and meet the counselor right now.” She ordered me. “You don’t seem fit enough to attend this class.”
I was about to retort that I was perfectly fine when I realized there was a lump in my throat. I couldn’t answer the Professor. I merely nodded, collected my things and bolted from the classroom.
I could feel my classmates’ eyes on me. But at that moment, I didn’t care. I just wanted to get away…away from life.

‘Where’s the fire, what’s the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
Although it’s so romantic on the border line
Tonight, tonight…’

I didn’t go to the counselor’s office at once. I needed to collect my wits before facing anyone. I couldn’t, after all, spill the fact I had slept with my boyfriend to anyone. No one would take it in the right way. They’d blame me for breaking up with him. I hated myself. What had possessed me to sleep with him in the first place? Why did I get into this mess?
The mental turmoil was getting too much for me to bear. I went into the ladies’ toilet and locked myself in.
Fishing out a blade from my bag, I began scrapping away at my wrist. It made me feel better. The physical pain helped me forget my emotional pain for hours on end.
I splashed my face with water. The reflection in the mirror showed me the face of a girl who would soon be called a ‘bloody whore’. She didn’t deserve to look this way; she didn’t deserve an ounce of happiness.
Almost at once, the blade came down on my ankle with a sudden force. The reflection’s face contorted with pain. But those dark eyes staring back at me were full of mocking. It seemed glad to see me pained.
When I got out of the toilet, I tried my best to walk normally. I hoped against hope, that no one would notice me limping.

‘You got your passion, you got your pride
But don’t know that only fools are satisfied
Dream on, but don’t imagine they’ll all come true
When will you realize – Vienna waits for you?’

Since the reason I had been excused from the second honors paper class in order to see the counselor, I had no choice but to go there. The college counselor was usually ready to listen to all sorts of problems faced by the students. RK (Rakhi Kanwal) was always willing to help out the students. She was the best. I had a good rapport with her. She knew all about my troubled relationship, and supported my decision to come out of it. What she didn’t know, however, was the fact I had lost my virginity in the process.
I knocked on her door twice before opening it to let myself in. I was confident no one would be visiting RK at this hour of the day.
“Ma’am, I am in trouble,” I began half-way into the room. “I started shedding tears in SD Madam’s class -”
The rest of the words died on my lips. I never got around to voicing them. There in RK’s chair sat not RK but my stalker.
He looked up at me from the computer in front of him and grinned, “Can I help you?”
“No,” I said, backing out of the room. “I better go.”
“Come back, Aria.”
There was something about his voice that drew me back. It didn’t let me go out of the room. I shuffled to my original position.
My stalker motioned towards the empty chair before him, “Why don’t you sit down and tell me what happened?”