The College Stalker

‘I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
and it's one of those moments
when everything is so clear’

I was sitting on the ledge around two o’clock on Friday. My iPod plugged into my ears, looking with dreamy eyes beyond the ledge. It had been a month since my break up with Akash. Yet his memories – more over the good ones – still haunted me.
In this one month, I had grown to be very good friends with my stalker. He wasn’t as bad as he looked. Contrary to the popular notion, that I had broken up with Akash for I was in love with my stalker, I hadn’t an inkling of feeling for him. We shared an awesome rapport and we were just the best of friends.
My heart had been shattered into a million pieces. Only unconditional friendship could heal at this moment. Roshni, Sheila and Preeti tried their best to be there for me. But, the three of them having committed boyfriends couldn’t do much to help me.
I would be alone at night. I would be alone during the weekends. Although they were worried, nothing could be done.
It was then, my stalker who turned into my counselor, metamorphosed into my good friend.
“What are doing, Aria?” someone called.
I turned my head to see Abhra standing right next to me. Did I have the iPod on full volume or what?
I hastily took off my earphone and asked, “Yes?”
Obviously not in the best mood – I could’ve kicked myself. I was being rude to the one person who had been there for me through thick and thin.
Yet I couldn’t detect any connection between my heart and my mouth. I had been busy coming to a conclusion…and did he have to interrupt me?
“Sorry,” he apologized “I didn’t realize you were busy.”
He walked away from me. I stared at his back. Did my one-word answer just tell him I wasn’t in the mood for chit chat? Did he really know me that well?

‘Before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
to work on finding something more than this fear’

Even Akash never understood when to speak to me and when to just leave me to myself. Was my ex- stalker the perfect one for me?
I put the music back on full volume…frowning in thought.
But I couldn’t make much headway with my reasoning for Sheila came bounding at me, and nearly threw me off the ledge.
“What’s wrong with you?” I gasped.
“Hello dear.” Sheila grinned at me, “What are you so busy thinking?”
I shook my head, switching off my iPod. Sheila wasn’t quite as understanding as Abhra. She would sit down next to me, and goad me into confiding in her.
“Nothing much – trying to clear the muddle in my head.” I replied, quite truthfully.

‘Takes too much out of me to pretend,
Tell me now; tell me how to make amends…’

“Is someone developing feelings for a certain someone?” Sheila cocked an eyebrow.
I sigh exasperatedly.
“No. My feelings, towards the certain someone is unconditional friendship and nothing else.”
“But does the certain someone reciprocate this feeling, honey?”
I stared at Sheila. She had a point. Did my ex-stalker begin to have feelings for me? Is that what made him this understanding and careful around me? He never cracked those stupid jokes in front of me anymore.
He had a wonderful nature, I thought I had discovered. I really hoped that I wasn’t the one who developed it.
I couldn’t answer Sheila. I sat there, looking through her. Wondering, how could this keep happening to me?

‘Maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
No escape from time
of any kind’