The College Stalker

‘I am tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take, is another mistake
To you…’

Yeah. To my boyfriend that was right. He thought that whatever I did was a mistake. Nothing I ever did would please him. So it came to pass, that we fought and we fought and we fought.
“How can you people fight so much?” Sheila asked me, shaking her black hair out of the hair crunch and tying it up again.
“Ask him.” was my bitter reply.
“Aria, why don’t you just fucking dump him?” swore Roshni.
I sighed.
Would these people never understand? I couldn’t frigging leave the God damn bastard! He had me on a tight hold. He would never stop haunting me. He was of that nature.
The professor came in, for which I was deeply thankful. I was getting tired of these confronting sessions.
“Couldn’t you at least take a break?” Preeti asked me in a whisper.
I ignored her, focusing in what the Prof was saying to us. My three friends soon got busy with the class and I was free to dwell on my misery. How could a relationship be so strained? And why did we have to put in such a lot of effort to make it work? Damn it!

‘I become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I becoming this…all I want to do
Is be more like me, and be less like you’

It was Friday. Classes got over by 12.50 pm. I didn’t feel like going home. I didn’t feel like messaging Akash. For a certain point of time, I didn’t know what ‘to feel’ meant.
“Let’s drink today,” Preeti suggested after classes were over.
The four of us were sitting in the deserted classroom, pondering what to do with life. I was half-listening to my friends’ talk.
“You got money on you?” asked Roshni, checking her own purse.
“I have an extra hundred bucks.” Sheila informed.
Three heads turned expectantly at me. I shrugged.
“I don’t feel like it.”
“Oh lighten up,” chided Sheila “Have a drink with us. You’ll forget all about this shit in no time.”
“Ha! I wish,” was all I could trust myself to say.
I fished out some spare money from my pocket and handed it to Preeti. The girls’ began to calculate what they could afford with the funds. Finding the topic intensely boring, I left the room.
The Ledge, especially at this time of the day, seemed like the abode of peace. With no fucking person around to ruin my thoughts, my plans and misery – I was pretty contented.
“We’ll meet you back here in fifteen minutes,” Roshni called as she and the others went off to get the drinks.
“Sure.”
I was glad they were gone for sometime. Even though they were my closest friends at college, I still hadn’t grown out of my childhood habit of wanting to be alone.
Hurried footsteps coming from behind me, made me look up. A senior went hurrying past, casting anxious glances into the empty classrooms. He turned the corner.
I was about to collapse into thoughts of sadness when –
“Have you any idea where the third years are?”
“What?”
We looked at each other for a whole minute. Then he repeated his question.
“Maybe they’re in the Union Room?” I asked.
The senior refrained from rolling his eyes, “Thanks a lot.”
“At least I tried.”
Where was all this bitchiness coming from? I wondered. My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. Akash had messaged me - ‘Will be back by 6.30 Muah.’
“Fuck boys!” I thundered, deleting the message.
I was spared listening to what the senior would say next by the arrival of my friends.
“Nice talking to you,” the senior told me and went off before my friends came into earshot.
“Come on, Aria” called Sheila “Let’s fuck those problems and party NOW!”
Almost wishing they had not come back, I put a fake smile on my lips and tried to enjoy the madness.