Poker Face

“Wait here,” he said as he parked the car in his driveway. He pulled his keys out of the ignition and opened his car door.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“To get your bag,” he told me as though it should be obvious. “You left it here earlier.”

“Oh…so, then what?” I was confused.

“Then I’m taking you home,” he answered tonelessly, hopping out of the truck.

“Can’t I just stay here?” I asked. But it was too late, Kris had already walked away. Why was he being like this? Tears formed in my eyes and I felt stupid for crying over something that was probably nothing. But hey, I was emotional. I had just potentially lost my best friend over a guy who was practically ignoring me. I’m sure once everything calmed down though we would be okay. Callie and I were the kind of best friends that can’t stay mad at each other for long because we always have important stuff to tell each other.

Kris came back a minute later, with my bag in his hand. I quickly looked out my own window and wiped my eyes so that he wouldn’t see my tears. I heard him open his door and I felt him nudge me with the bag so I blindly grabbed it. He got in and shut his door behind him, before flipping through his keys to find the right one. “Are you mad at me?” I inquired, turning towards him. He didn’t look at me, he just shook his head and started the truck.

“Nope, why?” He replied, adjusting his seat. I knew he was only doing it to avoid eye contact.

“I dunno,” I whimpered, sniffling. His eyes finally shot up at me when he heard me.

“Why are you crying?” He asked worriedly, grabbing face lightly in his hands. I shrugged weakly.

“Because I just got kicked to the curb by two of the most important people in my life,” I choked. “And I don’t even know why.”

“I’m not kicking you to the curb, Jaime,” Kris stated.

“Right…”

“And I should hardly be one of the most important people in your life.” I gave him a quizzical look. “Jaime, it’s just,” he sighed. “I don’t think you should have chosen me.”

“Why not?” I questioned.

“Did I choose Liz?” He yelled, exasperated.

“What?” I asked, thinking that comment came way out of left field.

“When the guys told me to ditch Liz, I did. I chose my friends over her. And I didn’t even think she was that bad. And yet, here you are. You know I’m no good and you still chose me over your best friend. Your best friend! And I, the man who has done nothing but horrible things to you, was the one you decided to go with. I don’t understand,” he finished, calming down a little.

“So, what? I should just, kick you out of my life? I thought you didn’t want that-”

“I don’t! But Callie is more important than I am,” he stated.

“Says who?”

“Are you kidding me Jaime? Are you that-” He cut himself off.

“Stupid?” I finished for him sadly. He just looked at me apologetically. “Apparently I am.” We sat there in silence before it all suddenly clicked. “Oh…”

“Oh what?” he questioned. I looked at him, trying to decipher what his motives were.

“It was all just charming BS wasn’t it?” I asked him. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“What?”

“You were only trying to get back in my good graces. You wanted me to pick Callie because it was all a lie. Because you didn’t want to deal with me anymore anyways. You told me. You told me not to choose you; you said Callie was right. Oh God, I really am fucking stupid,” I mumbled, getting out of the car. I hauled my bag over my shoulder and started walking away, towards my house. I heard Kris shut off the car and get out as well.

“Jaime, wait, what are you talking about?” He called, spinning me around before I was even off his property.

“You wanted me to pick Callie because choosing you meant you’d actually have to be with me,” I told him. “If I chose Callie then it would have seemed like you did nothing wrong. You’d have no blame. You wanted me to pick Callie because it was an easy out.”

“No, I wanted you to pick Callie because I don’t deserve someone like you,” he corrected. “None of it was BS, I promise. I just don’t understand why you’d throw away a friendship over a guy like me. I can’t guarantee anything to you. I can’t promise I won’t totally screw up and hurt you. That’s why I was taking you home. Because I figured the less time I’m around you the less chance I’ll be a jerk.” I laughed, and he looked at me strangely.

“You do realize that by giving me the cold shoulder and taking me home you were being a jerk, right?” I laughed. He questioned me with his eyes. “First of all, Callie and I will be fine. Our friendship is stronger than a fight like this.” I hoped . “Second of all, I chose you. Why would you think that I would want to be at my house alone?”

“I don’t know,” Kris said, throwing his hands up in the air dejectedly. “I told you I’m not good at this whole relationship thing.” He sighed and I shifted the bag on my shoulder.

“Coming from a man who had a fiancée,” I teased.

“Had being the operative word,” he rebutted. We laughed softly for a bit. “So…are you still wanting to watch a movie?” He motioned to his house with his head.

“Sure,” I replied. He grabbed my bag off my shoulder and laced his fingers with mine as he led me into the house. As soon as we were inside he shut the door behind me and locked it. I went to walk further into the house but he grabbed my hand again and stopped me. “Wha-”

“I love you,” he stated, cutting me off. I looked at him confused.

“I love you too?” I replied. He got a bewildered look on his face.

“Oh, well that sounded reassuring,” he remarked, waving his free hand about. He was smirking so I knew he wasn’t that upset.

“I love you,” I said more seriously this time. “I was just caught of guard when you said it…it was so random.”

“I know, but I just wanted you to know it,” he explained. I nodded. Now it was me tugging him back from walking away. “What?”

“I thought we were just going to stay friends,” I told him.

“Oh, it’s just that I thought…well I figured after the whole thing with Callie…uh,” he shook his head, clearing it. “I just want to be with you. Whether or not it’s as friends or more, I just…I want you around.” I nodded and he looked at me for a while. “What exactly do you want from me? And please don’t say ‘nothing’ because that nearly killed me that last time.” I looked up into his eyes and saw his pleading look.

“I’m not sure what I want Kris,” I told him truthfully. “But I guess having you around in my life wouldn’t be so bad,” I teased. His mouth slowly spread into a grin and he pulled me into the living room.

“Are you hungry? Do you want dinner?” He asked.

“Uh, sure,” I replied. “What did you have in mind?” He shrugged.

“Take out?” He suggested. I nodded and he went into the kitchen. I followed him and saw him pull a bunch of menus out of a drawer. “Okay, we have pizza, Chinese,-”

“Chinese!” I picked, interrupting him. Chinese was pretty much the only takeout I ever ordered.

“Okay,” he chuckled. We discussed what we wanted and he called the place and ordered. After he hung up he took me back into the living room and sat me on the couch. “The food should be here in like a half an hour. So until then, let’s start the movie eh?” I smiled and nodded at him.

He fiddled around with the entertainment system a bit before hopping onto the couch next to me. I was against one end and although he sat more toward the middle to be next to me, he was still a comfortable distance away. As soon as he sat down he started fidgeting. I continued to watch the screen as the previews rolled on, but out of the corner of my eye I could see Kris studying me.

“What?” I asked, turning my head towards him. He turned swiftly towards the television .

“Nothing,” he answered. I turned back to the screen but a few minutes later I saw him looking at me again. “Ma belle,” he called. I had no idea what he said, so I ignored it, thinking he was commenting on one of the previews. “Now I must ask if you are the one mad at me?” I turned to look at him confused.

“No, why?”

“You are so far away,” he commented. I looked at the space between us, which was minimal.

“Kris, I’m right here,” I noted.

“Yes but you’re all up against the edge of the couch like you don’t want to be anywhere near me,” he said. Oh my God, he was not going there.

“I sat down first, so if anything you’re the one who’s distant. Are we really going to argue about this?” I asked, incredulous. He sighed.

“No, forget I said anything,” he muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and looking back at the screen. I looked at him for a few moments before I decided to just give him what he wanted. I scooted closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. I also put my legs sideways over his lap. I felt him tense momentarily, but soon enough he unfolded his arms and drew my legs closer to him, letting his hands rest on my thighs.

A while later the doorbell rang and Kris slipped off the couch to answer it. He came back in with the take out and we ate while watching the movie. When we were both done Kris pulled me back in to him and threw a blanket around us as we continued the film. He started stroking my hair, and before I could help myself I fell asleep. I don’t know how much time went by before I woke up, but I do know that I wasn’t on the couch anymore. I sat up a little and noticed I was in Kris’s bedroom.

I felt an arm across my waist, and sure enough, Kris was next to me. He was shirtless and I couldn’t help but admire the muscles along his body. That’s when I looked down at myself and noticed all I was wearing was a large t-shirt of Kris’s and my undergarments. Wow, I must have been out cold.

I felt Kris stir next to me and his hand gripped my hip, pulling me closer. Since I was still sitting up slightly, I pretty much collapsed on top of him. He didn’t wake up, which made me giggle. I tried to control my fit, but soon enough Kris opened his eyes. It took him a second to remember his surroundings, and then he looked at me strangely. I was still giggling like a school girl, and a small smile began to tug at his lips. “Why are you laughing?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted through my laughs. He chuckled a bit before propping himself up on his right elbow. “Sorry I woke you,” I said, looking up at him.

“It’s okay,” he said. Brushing the hair out of my face with his free hand. “I didn’t mind waking up to that.” I smiled at him and he started leaning down. Just before our lips met he raised his head quickly. I looked at him confused. “Sorry. I forgot.” I was still puzzled before it dawned on me that we had agreed to only be friends.

“Oh…right. It’s okay,” I told him. There was an awkward silence after that. “So, I guess I was pretty tired, huh?” I tried.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “I carried you in here after the movie so you could sleep, and since you didn’t even flinch when I did that I changed you into something more comfortable. That’s okay, right?” I nodded at him. “I don’t blame you for being tired. These past few days haven’t exactly been relaxing.” I nodded slightly again.

“What time is it?” I inquired. Kris turned his head to look at the clock by his side of the bed.

“Almost three. Go back to sleep,” he said, laying back down.

“What time do you have to be up?” I attached myself to his side.

“Eight,” he answered simply. We didn’t say anything else after that, and before I knew it I was waking up again to a ring tone. “Mmm…allô?” Kris answered, half asleep. I snuggled further into his chest. “Oh, sorry--Callie?” My head shot up at that one. He pulled the phone away from his ear for a second and studied it. When he registered that it was mine and not his, he went to speak into it again. “Sorry Callie, I grabbed Jaime’s phone on acci-what’s wrong? Are you okay?” His tone became concerned and a moment later he put in on speakerphone.

“Callie?” I called.

“Jaime? I’m sorry, its just, I have some news and I couldn’t wait to tell you, but first I had to say I’m sorry about everything I said-”

“It’s fine Callie, we’ll talk about that later,” I interrupted. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s really wrong per say, its just…you know,” she stated vaguely.

“Uh, no. I don’t,” I told her.

“My family’s having their annual ‘start of summer bbq blowout’ thing this weekend,” she started.

“Yeah…”

“And they are coming,” she said.

“No,” I gasped, grabbing the phone out of Kris’s hand.

“Yes,” she said in the same tone.

“Who?” Kris butt in.

“Were they invited? Who would invite them?” I asked her, ignoring Kris.

“Who would invite who?” Kris attempted.

“I think they just announced they were coming. You know my dad would never deny them,” she said, also ignoring Kris.

“Your dad would never deny who?” Kris asked Callie.

“Even after everything they put him through? After what they put all of us through?” I reasoned. Kris looked at me imploringly. ‘Who????’ he mouthed, waving madly with his hands.

“I dunno,” she sighed. “But you’re gonna be there right?”

“Hell no.”

“Jaime, please?” She begged.

“No way Cal. Are you nuts?” I asserted.

“Jaime, I can’t go there alone,” she stated.

“So don’t go at all,” I told her. Silence. “Jordan will be with you, won’t he?”

“Yeah, but you need to be there too,” she whined.

“I don’t need to do jack shit,” I replied.

“Okay, but we should at least show them how much better than them we are.”

“And how are we going to do that?” I questioned.

“Simple. Show up with rich, hot dates,” she answered.

“Psh, easy for you. You have Jordan,” I noted.

“Bring Kris,” she rebutted easily.

“Will somebody please tell me what’s going on?” Kris finally broke in.

“So now you’re all on board for Kris again?” I mused, ignoring Kris once again. I heard him groan.

“I thought we were going to talk about that later,” she recalled.

“It is later,” I shot back. I heard her sigh.

“Listen, I was out of line with that whole thing, and I’m sorry. To both of you. Jordan and I talked after that and he made me realize how stupid I was being. He also opened my eyes to how much Kris really cares for you,” she finished. I looked at Kris, who was staring right back into my eyes. I gave him a small smile, and he returned it.

“Alright, I’m not agreeing to anything just yet. We’ll talk at the game tonight, okay?” I said to her.

“Okay, I’ll see you later. Bye!” She stated.

“Bye,” I replied, hanging up.

“Okay, care to let me in on what that was all about?” He asked, pulling me down and wrapping the covers around us again.

“Not really,” I replied. “What time is it?”

“Seven thirty...why not?” His tone was becoming more defensive.

“It’s a long story Kris. A long, complicated story,” I laughed.

“We have time,” he said. I could feel him shrug.

“No, we really don’t,” I rebutted. I thought everything was okay; I thought Kris realized it was no big deal. I had no idea Kris was taking this seriously.

“Fine,” he said, pulling himself away from my grasp and getting out of bed.
“What?” I asked, sitting up.

“If you’re not going to talk to me I’m going to shower,” he stated, gathering his stuff.

“Are you seriously going to be like this?” I questioned. He ignored me and walked into the bathroom. I flopped back down onto the bed and sighed. An idea floated around in my head for a minute before I finally decided to act on it. I quietly entered the bathroom and stripped down. I snuck into the shower behind Kris and grabbed the soap, lathering it in my hands. I took my hands and ran them along Kris’s shoulders. He jumped lightly and spun around to face me.

“Jesus! What are you doing??” He exclaimed.

“I need to shower too,” I shrugged, running my soapy hands along his chest. His eyes fluttered shut and he put a steadying hand on the wall as my hands got lower. Suddenly he grabbed my hands.

“Stop,” he ordered. I frowned at him. “What happened to just being friends?” He was struggling to keep his eyes on my face. I stepped closer to him but he just stepped back. I kept stepping closer until he was backed up against the wall of the shower. “I don’t want to take advantage-” I interrupted him by placing my lips against his.

At first he stayed motionless, still holding my hands. Then, as if he just realized what was happening, he grabbed the back of my neck with one hand and he placed the other on my back. He spun us around so that I was against the wall and kissed me back hard. His lips left mine and traveled along my jaw and down to my neck. His hands also traveled along my body, stopping at my hips. I moaned lightly and he hoisted me up and I wrapped my legs around him. I tangled my fingers in his hair and he brought his lips to mine again. After a few moments, something happened I didn’t expect.

Kris set me down.

He pulled away slowly and looked me right in the eyes. “I don’t want to do this unless you’re sure.” Wow. Kris had never really done that before. Not that I ever objected, but still, if I had, he never would have known. He took my silence as a ‘no’ and sighed. “Let’s just get clean, okay?” I nodded and we finished up, surprisingly without any major diversions. We kissed a few more times, but that was it. Once we were out we got dressed and he got ready to leave. Not surprisingly, he was being distant.

“So I guess I’ll see you later?” I tried. He simply nodded and headed toward the door. “Do you want me to meet you by the locker room beforehand?” He turned around to face me.

“If you want,” he shrugged.

“Well, if you don’t want me to I won’t,” I said softly.

“I don’t care,” he replied, his tone becoming annoyed.

“If you don’t care then I won’t go at all,” I told him.

“Fine.” He opened the door.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked. He turned around to face me again.

“Doing what?”

“Picking fights! It’s like you want us to argue or something,” I observed, exasperated.

“I’m not the one screaming,” he pointed out.

“No, you’re just the one who’s starting all the arguments,” I rebutted. “First I’m not close enough to you on the couch, then it’s because I won’t tell you a stupid story, you’re mad because I’m distant, then you get mad at me for trying to get close to you. I don’t know what to do! I keep trying to please you and all you do is continue to push me away.”

“I don’t have time for this,” he said, shaking his head.

“Me either,” I spat, grabbing my own duffle bag that was still by the door and pushing past him.

“Maybe I wouldn’t be pushing you away if you opened up to me once in a while,” he called after me. I spun around and glared at him.

“Excuse me?” I exclaimed, walking towards him. “It’s not like you’ve given me a good reason to open up to you before,” I reasoned. He rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine. Once again Kris, I will cater to you and your childish attitude. You want to know what Callie was talking about? Fine. I dated her brother briefly, which caused a huge fight between Callie and I, but eventually I found out he was cheating on me, so we broke up anyhow. And the real kicker is, he cheated on me with a girl who Callie and I both thought was a good friend of ours. Long story short, my ex boyfriend and my ex friend are still together, Hell they’re married, and we all hate each other. They caused so much drama it’s insane. That’s who Callie and I were talking about. Hope you’re satisfied.”

I walked quickly off his property and toward my house. Sure it was a good distance away, but it’s not like I had anywhere important to be later.