Poker Face

I eventually made it to my place and collapsed on my couch. As soon as I sat down, the phone rang. “Ugh…figures,” I muttered, getting up to answer it. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” Callie greeted. “What’s this I hear about you not coming tonight?”

“How did you know about that?” I inquired.

“Kris talked to Jordan,” she stated.

“What like, the split second after I left?” I remarked, She ignored me and continued her own story.

“Jordan says Kris is completely out of it. He can’t focus, he spaces out, and he isolates himself. He had been doing it a little before Luc died but it’s gotten worse and Jordan says it’s especially bad when the two of you are fighting.”

“Oh well, not my problem.”

“No, but if Kris is off his game then it becomes the team’s problem,” she pointed out.

“So it’s my fault?” I challenged.

“No, Jaime, that’s not what I meant. Look, either way, I think you should come tonight. I think it will make Kris feel at least a little better,” she said.

“And I should care…why? And you know, the rate at which you change your opinions about Kris is making my head spin,” I told her. She laughed.

“Listen Jaim, if you don’t come for Kris, come for the rest of the guys. This game is do or die,” she said. I heard my cell phone start ringing, so I started rummaging through my bag for it.

“I guess,” I agreed. She thanked me and we made plans for meeting up later. As soon as I hung up with her, I answered my cell without looking at the caller I.D. “Hello,” I greeted.

“Ma belle,” Kris responded. I silently cursed myself for answering.

“Yeah?” I sighed.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. I could almost see him grimacing, and I knew Jordan was probably right next to him forcing him to say it.

“Yeah, you really sound like it,” I observed. He sighed.

“Listen, just please come to the game tonight?” He pleaded.

“Suddenly you want me there?” I asked.

“You know I want you there. You know I always wanted you there,” he murmured. I sighed, and took a moment to think. “Please?”

“Kris,” I tried.

“S'il vous plaît ma belle…” Kris continued rambling in French and didn’t show signs of stopping.

“Kris,” I repeated, giggling a little. “I’ll be there, don’t worry.”

“Bon. Merci. je t'aime,” he said.

“Kris, I don’t know what you are-”

“I love you,” he clarified. Before I could respond, he continued. “I will see you later. Come to the locker room beforehand.”

“Um, okay?” As soon as the words left my mouth he hung up. I re-collapsed on my couch. I lay there motionless for a while, debating whether or not I was actually going to go. Eventually I decided that I really should go, so I hauled myself up off my couch and got ready. A few hours later I drove to the arena and parked my car. As I was walking through the parking lot I called Callie from my cell phone.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Hey. You here yet?” I asked her.

“Almost…I should be there in like ten minutes,” she replied.

“Okay. I have to go talk to Kris by the locker room so call me when you get here,” I told her.

“I have to meet Jordan over there anyway, so I’ll just see you there too,” she explained.

“Okay. Later.”

“Adios.” We hung up with each other and I entered the building. I made my way through the arena unbothered, since security pretty much knew who I was. I arrived at the locker room just as Sidney was about to walk in.

“Sidney!” I called. He turned around and smiled when he spotted me.

“Hey Jaime!” He greeted, walking towards me with his arms open. I embraced him and he squeezed me tightly. “How’re you doing?” He asked, pulling away. He grabbed my chin in his hand and moved my head around, examining my jaw. I pushed him away with a smile.

“I’m alright I guess. I’m here to see Kris but I didn’t want to just barge in there. Can you tell him I’m here?” I requested.

“Sure, but lemme tell you, the last thing the guys in there would mind was is a girl walking in,” he teased, turning around towards the locker room door. I shook my head and then he turned around toward me again. “While we’re on the subject of Kris,” he started. Oh dear…here we go. He didn’t continue, so I looked at him strangely.

“What about him?” I prompted. He gave me a knowing look.

“I hear he’s gonna be your date this weekend for Callie’s family barbeque,” he stated.

“Well, we never really discussed it-”

“Oh, well he said he was going. At least when he was talking to Jordan he sounded like it. I’m pretty sure he wants to beat Jimmy up” Jimmy was Callie’s brother, my ex.

“Yeah, Kris always seems to care about me when beating up my exes is on the table,” I muttered.

“Listen, I know the two of you have had you’re ups and downs,” he said. “Both literally and figuratively,” he added under his breath. I smacked his arm and he laughed. “Anyways, Kris has always had a thing for you. Even when you guys fought, you could tell it bugged him.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is, if he didn’t like you or care about you, like you thought, it wouldn’t have gotten under his skin the way it did. He hated fighting with you. Every time it happened, he was just…off. I know it didn’t seem like it sometimes, but he’s always loved you,” Sidney informed me. I just nodded. “You know, I could see it. Before either of you could. I like to think I’m the one that made him realize it,” he smirked smugly.

“Oh yeah? How’s that?” I smiled.

“I told him this story about this other guy and girl I knew,” he shrugged innocently. “See, these other two, they didn’t agree on much. In fact, they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other everyday, but despite their differences they had one important thing in common: They were crazy about each other.” I just looked at him as he turned back around and reached for the door.

“You stole that from The Notebook,” I called.

“Damn. I was hoping you never saw that,” Sid chuckled.

“Psh! Are you kidding! I’m a girl, of course I’ve seen The Notebook. What’s your excuse?” I teased.

“Hey, watching chick flicks with a girl gets you in her good graces,” my cousin defended.

“It’s one thing to have seen it Sid. The fact that you have lines memorized is a whole other story…” I remarked. He just glared at me.

“He’s better because of you,” Sidney said, switching back to the topic of Kris. “Better all around. Whatever you do to him, it’s working for the best.” Before I could say anything Sidney had entered the locker room, and I stood there dumbfounded. I paced the hallway for a little bit, lost in my own thoughts. My back was to the locker room and I didn’t notice Kris come out until his hands snaked around my waist.

“I missed you,” he murmured into my hair. I pushed him off and turned around.

“What did you want to talk about?” I asked shortly. He sighed and laced his hands with mine.

“So…you didn’t miss me then?” He avoided. I rolled my eyes and pulled my hands out of his grasp.

“Seriously Kris, I am not in the mood. Will you please just get to the point?” I demanded.

“I was just trying to break the ice, Jesus,” he muttered.

“Yes, I missed you,” I sighed, exasperated. “In case you started to care or something.” Kris let his head fall back as he looked at the ceiling.

“How many times do I have to say it? I’m sorry, okay? I do care. I do,” he asserted. “I hate when we fight. Honestly. I know it seems lately like I’ve been trying to pick fights, and I have.” I raised an eyebrow at him and he stepped closer to me, leaning his forehead on mine and pulling my waist in to touch his. “You make me scared,” he whispered. I laughed, and he furrowed his eyebrows at me. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

“I hope so,” I giggled. He smiled too.

“What I mean is I’ve never actually felt this strongly about someone. I’m so afraid of messing it all up. When I first met you I never thought that I would love you. But I do. I love you so much. And I know I said I’d rather be friends with you than nothing at all, but I don’t know if I can do that. I want you, all of you. I want to be with you, I want to hold you and kiss you and not feel like I’m crossing the line. Kind of like I feel right now,” he admitted, stepping back slightly. “I know we argue a lot, but I would rather fight with you than make love to anyone else.” I was going to point out to him that he just quoted the movie The Wedding Date, but then I realized it was too much of a coincidence that Sidney and Kris quoted movies.

“Did Sidney tell you to say that last part?” I quizzed.

“Yes,” he admitted. Wow. First The Notebook and now The Wedding Date? Ooh, I’m going to be making fun of him for a looong time. I looked back up at Kris and stared into his eyes, and he just gazed right back. “So…?” He prompted. I opened my mouth to answer him.

“Letang!” Someone yelled behind him. It was the Penguins Head coach. “Oh, sorry for interrupting…but I need Kris in here. Let’s go son,” he ordered. Kris looked at me quickly to see if I’d give him a quick answer, but I couldn’t react. His eyes were pleading, but time ran out as his coach pulled him inside and the door closed. I shuffled my way to my seat and plopped down, spacing out for a while.

“Hey,” I heard next to me. I turned to look, and saw Callie in the seat next to mine.

“Oh! God, sorry. I totally forgot I was meeting you by the locker room,” I apologized.

“It’s cool. I figured you’d be here. I’m guessing your talk with Kris didn’t go so well?” She tried.

“Ugh…it’s that predictable eh?” I laughed. I told her about everything that had happened, starting from when I was at her and Jordan’s place and ending with Kris being dragged off by Therrien.

“So…you just left him hanging??” Callie asked, incredulous.

“Well what was I gonna say? ‘Sure Kris, I’d love to dive into a full blown relationship with you, even though I know you’ll probably leave me in a week anyways.’ C’mon Cal,” I mused.

“I thought you said he wasn’t like that anymore?”

“When did I say that?” I countered.

“At my place. You said you believed what he said and stuff,” she remembered.

“Yeah I believed what he said. Which was that he loved me. Not that he’d never leave me,” I told her. “Look, obviously we both have changing opinions and views about Kris, mostly because he’s a snake and neither of us would trust him as far as we could throw him,” I started. Callie nodded in agreement. “But I don’t want to not give him a chance, ya know?” She nodded again.

“Either way, you should have told him something,” she noted. “Maybe you can tell him something with your eyes as he skates by,” she added, looking onto the ice where the players were warming up. The game was going to start any second.

“With my eyes?” I remarked.

“Well! What are you going to do? Leave him clueless?” She inquired.

“I guess not,” I sighed, looking for Kris. I finally spotted him skating around the rink, so I waited until he was almost by us so I could ‘convey with my eyes.’ As he passed, he momentarily looked at me but then looked away again, shaking his head.

“Well then…that went well,” Callie joked. I tried numerous times after that to get his attention, but he refused to look at me. I was beginning to lose faith in this relationship.

If you could even call it that.