Poker Face

Don't Pick Me

As soon as they heard me, they broke apart.

“Awe Kris, you had her make popcorn and cocoa for us? That’s so sweet,” she said and pecked him on the lips. She took a mug and the popcorn from me and handed it to Kris, who stood there anxiously. “Thank you,” she said, grabbing the other cup from me. “I’m Liz,” she introduced, sticking out her hand. I shook it and she continued. “Kris’s fiancée.” I froze and looked at him. He had a guilty look on his face, and he refused eye contact. I recovered quickly though.

“Jaime,” I replied, pulling my hand away. She smiled nicely and looked at Kris.

“How do you two know each other?” She asked, genuinely curious. She seemed nice, so I couldn’t really hate her. Kris looked at me, but I wanted him to answer, so I just raised an eyebrow at him.

“She’s the maid,” he muttered. Liz looked back over to me and smiled. I had to clench my jaw to keep it from dropping. Kris cringed, expecting me to rat him out. Liz kept looking at me, like she was waiting for me to do something.

“Can I get you guys anything else?” I asked softly.

“I think we’re good, right babe?” She answered. I didn’t pay attention to Kris’s answer as I just straight up walked out of the house. I flipped open my phone and called Callie as I stood on the sidewalk.

“Hello?” Her voice answered through the phone.

“Callie,” I choked out.

“Oh God, I knew it. Jordan knew it too. I bet you’re standing outside his house with no way to get home, right?” She predicted. I nodded, even though I knew she couldn’t see me.

“Yeah,” I whispered.

“We’ll be there in a second, okay? Just hang on.” She hung up and I waited for them to come get me. As soon as the black truck pulled up I got in the back and buckled myself in.

“I knew it. I knew when I saw the two of you on the plane all cuddly that he was going to hurt you in the end. I just didn’t think it would be so soon,” Jordan mumbled, driving back to his and Callie’s place. So that was what the uneasy smirk was about. Way to warn me, Staal. Callie turned and looked at me, her expression asking me to tell her what happened.

“He has a fiancée,” I murmured. The car suddenly screeched to a halt.

“What?!?” Callie and Jordan asked at the same time. Callie glared at Jordan, which basically meant ‘start driving.’ He did, but he was still listening intently as I told them what happened.

“Liz?” Jordan asked. I nodded.

“How did you know her name?” Callie asked him. “Jordan, I swear to God if you knew Kris was engaged this entire time-”

“No, no,” Jordan defended, shaking his head. “I mean, he was engaged, but he told us they broke it off, honest. I didn’t know they got back together.” Callie relaxed a bit as we pulled up to their place. We made our way inside and I sat on the couch. “I can’t believe he got back with her. She was such a bitch.” Callie gave Jordan a scolding look but he just shrugged innocently.

“She seemed nice to me,” I noted.

“Yeah because Kris was in the room. When he’s gone she does a complete 180. I don’t think he knows how bad she is,” Jordan explained.

“Well have any of you told him that?” Callie challenged.

“Of course!” He defended. “He never saw her dark side but he took our word for it that it was there. That’s how they broke up. I just don’t know how they got back together.”

“I’m gonna go lay down,” I announced. They both nodded at me and I went into their guest bedroom. I flopped onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, knowing I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. My cell began to rang a few moments later, and the caller ID told me it was Kris. I didn’t answer, and soon he was calling again. I ignored all his calls, until I heard a frantic knocking on Callie and Jordan’s front door. It was soon followed by a “What the Hell do you want?” from Callie. I got up and leaned my ear against the bedroom door.

“I just want to talk to her real quick. I know she’s here,” Kris stated.

“Actually she’s not. And I doubt she wants to talk to your lying ass anyways,” Callie responded.

“Seriously Kris? Liz? I thought you guys were done,” Jordan interjected.

“We were,” Kris said. “We are,” he added. “I don’t know why she’s back…she caught me off guard. Listen, I can explain it to you later but I really need to speak to Jaime.”

“No, you can explain it to me now,” Jordan asserted. “I knew you’d hurt Jaime and I’m not letting you do it again.”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you,” Kris stated.

“Tell me what happened with Liz a few years ago. Tell me why you’re playing all these fucking games with Jaime. Tell me why Liz is back. Tell me what your true intentions and feelings are with Jaime,” Jordan listed.

“I loved Liz. You guys told me she was bad news. I didn’t see it, but you guys were my best friends and I believed you. I ended it, she got upset and thought I wasn’t serious. She said we were ‘taking a break instead,’ but after a year passed I figured she got over it and it was all over. Then she just showed up and said she had given me enough time for this ‘phase to pass’ and she insisted we were still together. She saw Jaime, and I freaked. I told Liz she was the maid, and Jaime left. After that I tried to go after her and Liz blew up at me-”

“You told her Jaime was the maid?!” Callie interrupted.

“I wasn’t thinking! I panicked! I was just trying to buy some time so I could sort everything out. I didn’t mean to say it, it just, slipped out. I was practically shell shocked,” Kris defended.

“We’ll get into that later. Continue your story,” Jordan ordered.,

“Well, Liz and I started fighting and she left. I have no idea where she is, if she’s coming back or if she’s gone for good. I don’t care either,” Kris told them. There was a long pause before I heard Jordan.

“And?”

“And what?” Kris replied.

“And the other stuff. You told me about Liz, now tell me about Jaime,” Jordan said. Another long pause.

“I’m not sure,” Kris finally voiced. “At first we didn’t get along, but I always thought she was beautiful. I let my physical attraction take over and we started hooking up. At first it was purely physical, but then I would begin to get jealous when other guys would pay attention to her. I got protective. I started worrying about her more. I started wondering what she thought of me. I found myself thinking about her constantly and wondering what she was doing, who she was with. And then I would get angry at myself for being like that and I would take it out on her. I know I’ve said and done some horrible things to her and never apologized. I saw the hurt in her eyes and I never did anything about it. I can’t do that anymore. She told me about her feelings and I told her mine. We went to my house to relax and that’s when Liz showed up.” Jordan and Callie were silent, probably trying to take it all in.

“Third door on the left,” Jordan sighed. I froze. Damn! I leapt away from the door, as if afraid of getting caught eavesdropping. If I knew Kris though, he’d knock and he wouldn’t come in unless I said okay. Even if it was unlocked. Which it wasn’t. Sure enough, I heard a soft knock at the door a few moments later.

“Jaime? It’s me, Kristopher.” I stayed silent. “I think she’s sleeping,” I heard him say to them.

“Or she’s awake and just doesn’t want to talk to your lying ass,” Callie reiterated. Kris sighed.

“Okay well, Jaime if you are awake, I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything to you, if you even want to hear it. I know I don’t deserve your time, but I really want to tell you everything, even if you won’t forgive me. So uh…yeah. That’s it I guess. Hopefully I’ll talk to you later. I love you,” he finished. I froze again. “Er, I mean…no well I do love you, but if you don’t feel the same it’s fine. But I shouldn’t have said it like that, I don’t want you to think-” I cut him off by opening the door. He looked shocked to say the least, with his wide eyes and mouth hung open. I stood there, staring at him expectantly. “Can I talk to you?”

“I don’t really know what you could possibly tell me that I’d want to hear,” I responded. He nodded slightly and looked at the floor. I saw Jordan continuously nudge Callie and she finally nodded.

“Jaime?” Callie called, suddenly appearing next to Kris. We both looked at her. “Jordan and I are going to go to the store real quick. Are you gonna be okay? Or did you want us to wait a while?”

“It’s not like I’m going to attack her,” Kris mumbled.

“No one was speaking to you,” Callie jabbed.

“Go ahead. I’ll be fine,” I told her, breaking the argument up before it got ugly. She nodded and left with Jordan. Kris still stood in front of me.

“Um, so…well I owe you an explanation,” he started, entering the room fully and closing the door behind him.

“I heard it.”

“Oh,” he sounded, looking confused. Then it seemed to dawn on him that I probably heard his conversation with Callie and Jordan. “Ohh…uh. Okay then…um,” he stumbled. I had never seen Kris like this. Even when he was drunk he was more eloquent than this. “I will go?”

“If you want,” I shrugged.

“I don’t want to,” he said, scratching his head. His face showed his utter confusion and helplessness. “But I will if you want me to.” I just stared at him. “It’s just, you said you didn’t know what I could say that you’d want to hear, and all I wanted to say was that I was sorry and give you my explanation, which you heard, so I don’t know what else you want from me.”

“I don’t want anything from you,” I told him. Hurt shone in his eyes, but I didn’t care. Is this how it felt for him? Whenever he said things like that to me? I could tell by his expression that he was feeling what I usually do. And I was determined to never feel that way again, which probably meant I had to get Kris out of my life. He looked at me pleadingly, but I just turned my head. “I can’t let you do this to me anymore, Kris.”

“I know. I’m sorry. My only regret is not telling you sooner,” he said once I finally made eye contact.

“Not telling me what sooner? Sorry? Or that you loved me?”

“Both,” he answered, stepping closer. He pulled me in lightly for a hug, and rested his forehead against mine. “I don’t know where I stand with you and I don’t know what I mean to you, all I know is every time I think of you all I want to do is be with you. I don’t know how you feel about me at this point, and I’m not sure I want to. But, it would still be an honor to be a part of your life. I know I don’t deserve to be in yours, but I want you in mine too. Please?” My eyes started welling up, so all I could do was nod. “Okay,” he said, kissing my forehead. “I will see you at Game Six tomorrow, yes?” I simply shrugged.

“Maybe,” I whispered. He frowned at me but nodded anyways.

“Okay, well. I’ll see you later…?” He asked, still holding me.

“I thought you were staying?” I asserted.

“I thought you didn’t want me to.”

“I never said that,” I pointed out with a small smile. He returned it and leaned his forehead against mine again.

“Then I will stay,” he murmured. We stood like that for a few moments, and I stifled a yawn. “Are you tired?”

“Keeping up with you is hard work,” I affirmed. He laughed and pulled me over to the bed. We laid down under the covers, and he wrapped an arm around me. I rested my head on his chest and after a few minutes he looked down at me and noticed I was still awake.

“Sleep,” he said softly. I nodded but I still didn’t close my eyes. Something was bothering me. “Jaime?” Kris said in a tone that implied he knew something was wrong.

“I just need to know one thing.”

“Okay,” he nodded.

“Why did you kiss her?” I expected to feel him tense up, but when he didn’t I knew he was going to actually answer me with the truth instead of struggle around for a lie.

“Like you heard, I had no idea she was a bad person, but I trusted my teammates enough to let her go. When she showed up and kissed me, I didn’t pull away because I missed her. While we were kissing though, I realized I didn’t feel anything. Not like I do when I kiss you, anyway,” he answered. I nodded and continued staring at the wall. “Sleep,” he ordered lightly again. This time I shut my eyes and let the rising and falling of Kris’ chest lull me to sleep.

I woke up a while later to the sound of the bedroom door creaking open. I saw Callie and Jordan standing there exchanging glances upon seeing us, but they didn’t notice I was awake. I could tell by the slow rising and falling of Kris’s chest that he was asleep.

“Well they look cozy,” Callie muttered sarcastically. I felt Kris shift slightly, and I knew he was awake. He stayed quiet like me though, probably to hear what they were going to say. However, I’m pretty sure he thought I was still asleep too.

“They must’ve worked it out,” Jordan noticed quietly.

“No, Kris probably said some charming BS and weaseled his way back in,” Callie spat. Kris tensed.

“C’mon Cal, as much as I hate what he did to Jaime he’s my friend and a good guy. Seriously,” Jordan stated, causing Kris to relax slightly.

“Yeah well I’m not going to just sit here and watch him hurt her again,” she hushed. The next thing I knew, the lights flipped on and the covers were torn off of us. “We’re back!” Kris and I both sat up slowly, and I shivered from the sudden coolness of the room. Kris put an arm around my shoulders and hugged me to him, trying to warm me up. “Jaime get up and come help me make dinner,” she ordered simply while walking out and dragging Jordan with her.

“That’s code for ‘Jaime since you can cook you make dinner and I’ll keep you company in the kitchen since I can’t cook,’” I snorted. Kris laughed as well, before going quiet. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he lied. I knew it had something to do with Callie and Jordan’s conversation.

“Was it what Callie said to Jordan?”

“You heard that?” He asked and I nodded. “I thought you were still asleep.” He paused a few moments before continuing. “I didn’t…If you think…It’s just…it wasn’t ‘charming BS,’” he finally spat out. “Charming, sure, because that’s me,” he said playfully, flashing a crooked grin. I smirked. He became serious again. “But I wasn’t bullshitting you.”

“I know Kris,” I replied, running a hand through his hair.

“But that’s just it,” Callie said, suddenly appearing, Jordan right behind her. “How could you possibly know, with everything he’s put you through?” Silenced filled the room as everyone stared at me. Callie looked at me expectantly, waiting for an answer. Jordan looked at me curiously, wondering what my answer would be. Kris looked at me apologetically, sorry I even had to be in this position to answer this question.

“I just do,” I answered her, trying to give off a tone that said ‘drop it.’ Callie either didn’t catch it or ignored it completely. It was probably the latter.

“How? How can you tell that he’s being sincere this time? What makes this different than every other time he’s deceived you and made you feel like shit?” Callie challenged.

“What happened to ‘have you ever tried dating him Jaime?’ You are such a hypocrite!” I remarked.

“That was before he had a freaking fiancée for Christ’s sake,” she said.

“Callie,” Jordan tried quietly.

“No, Jordan. I am tired of watching her repeatedly get cast under his spell and then get her heart broken time and time again.” She turned back towards me. “I’m done warning you to stay out of his hold. I’m done picking up the pieces after he breaks your heart. So go ahead, go back to him. You’re gonna get hurt, and I’m telling you right now I’m not gonna be here to pick you up again when you fall.”

“Are you seriously telling me to choose?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“Are you seriously so stupid that you think there’s a choice?” She yelled. My mouth, along with Jordan’s, hung open at her words. “Hm, let’s see. Your best friend that you’ve known since third grade and has always been there for you, or the guy you barely know that treats you like shit? Wow, real heard choice there Jaime.” I glanced at Kris, who was looking down and avoiding eye contact with everyone.

“I think I should leave,” he mumbled, standing up.

“Uh, yeah,” Callie voiced. I got up as well and linked my hand in Kris’s. He spun around to face me, eyes wide. He looked down at our hands and started shaking his head.

“No, no don’t. Don’t pick me,” he whispered. “She’s right.” This time I shook my head.

“No. A real friend wouldn’t put me in a position like that,” I said to Kris, although it was directed at Callie. I shot a glare at her and she narrowed her eyes at me.

“Fine, but don’t come crawling back to me when this little fantasy ends, which it will,” she threatened.

“Don’t worry, I won’t. If I ever need anything again I’ll go to someone that cares about me,” I responded, putting my shoes on.

“You can come to me,” Jordan said, indirectly voicing his disagreement with how Callie was handling things. “Both of you can,” he added with a nod at Kris. Kris gave him a weak, thankful smile, but still looked at me sadly. We hugged Jordan quickly and left their apartment. We got in Kris’s car and things were silent the whole way to his house.