Never in a Million

Another incredible venue and an audience who seemed to really like what we had to offer. That was what I would remember about this concert as I waved on last time and thanked them in French. When I was younger I took French for six years and was pretty alright when I came to it. Also I said we would return, blew a kiss and presented the last song. The sun was strong at us but I loved it, I danced around without my guitar for once, I just sang. I could get used to not playing, I could give so much more to the audience but on the other hand I loved playing.

I walked off stage all sweaty but so happy and smiling. Energy was bursting through my veins and I had no place to put it all. I walked happily alone down to our dressing room but found myself all the sudden dragged into an empty room by the arm. Please with himself Frank stood there with a grin on his face. I couldn’t help but to laugh as he closed the door. Seconds later we were kissing and I could really get used to this.

“Hi,” his voice was filled with pride for being creative with getting me in her. There was a sparkle in his eyes like a five-year-old who just stole a cookie but weren’t allowed to do so.

“Hi,” I said and he placed his hand on my check as he pressed me against the wall playfully and kissed me again. The energy I just had carried off the stage was transferred over to him as he lifted me off the floor. Stun me around in the air until I begged him to stop, the entire time he kept laughing. I put my hands in his hair and messed it around so he had to put me on the floor to get his hands free and pull it away. This amused me a great deal and sat on the table. When he finished fixing his hair he simply stood in front of me and I put my arms around his neck as he placed himself between my legs.

“You were amazing! The crowd I mean, wow, I’ve never seen a new band do that. It took us years to get there and you are already there.” I kept kissing him hoping he would shut up, but I was flattered by the way he continued speaking. “And your voice... it’s like really powerful... and... I don’t know but It... touches you in the weirdest way... Maybe that sounded wrong but... it does and... I ehm...” then I put my tong in his mouth and all he could do was kissing me back. He being so close made me dizzy and I lost track of everything, the world, it was like it didn’t even matter. Not while he was there.

The next day we left Brussels and headed for Paris this time. Frank was in the other bus and I was here. It would only take like 6 hours to drive from Brussels to Paris. It had now been 2 hours since we left Brussels behind us. And I missed him all ready.

I miss you,
I wish you were here next to me.
Ebb

I texted him on my mobile phone. He had given me his number just in case. I stopped myself several times to not call him. But I would not look desperate I told myself. We had only just met and kissed so far. I raised the volume on my Ipod and isolated me more from the others. I really didn’t have much to say to them right now. There was one thing I really hated when you text someone and they don’t respond until hours later, and you are getting stressed because you want the answer now. Fortunately this was not the case today, only a few minutes later had he answered me.

I miss you too Ebb,
I wish I was with you and not here being bored to death looking at the back of Rays head.
Frank

I smiled and turned off my mobile, I had nothing bright in my brain at that moment so share so I turned it off so I wouldn’t send something stupid. On the seat in front I left it in my bag and went to the back of our bus and took my bag out from under my bunk. With not too much effort I allowed it to fall onto my bed with a small puff and then opened it. There it was, my beloved camera. Which I had saved for months to buy, and now was very protective over. I had two things I really loved in life, music and photographing. Lately I had been so focused on my music these past weeks I had never really had time to take my camera out for a spin. Now though I had time, I turned it on and looked at the picture’s already in it. I got a stain in my heart when I say Alex’s smile face me. I quick pressed delete. Then there were no other pictures on the camera. I looked down in the bag again and saw my big black photo album where I stored my favourite pictures. I sat down on my bed and leaded agents the black wall, picked up the album and opened it. I spent a couple minutes looking through my album and then took my camera and left the room. I sat down on the couch again and looked around to find anything to take a picture off. Anything would due. I raised my camera and snapped a shoot at Julia sleeping in the other end on the couch. The flash woke her up.

“Do you mind? I’m trying to sleep over here, fuck off,” She was easily irritated when she didn’t sleep enough. I stood up and walked to the back window. The other bus was behind us and I saw the guys sitting around the TV and playing one of their 100 video games. I looked at Gerard who was not playing the game with the others, but sitting further back closer to me. He had his head resting ageist the glass and a sketching pad in his knee. He looked up from his drawing and saw me standing there with my camera against my shoulder; he smiled at me and waved. I waved smile back. He turned page in his pad and wrote something and the held it up ageist the glass so I could see.

Photographing, really?

I nodded at him and smiled, he did the thumbs up and turn the page back and continued with his drawing. I went back to my suitcase and tucked the camera into its safety case and closed my bag. My ordinary restless came crawling into me again and I picked up my guitar. The last days I had been working on a new song, inspiring from my breakup with Alex, it had taken the most parts of my sad feelings away.

We've had our share of joy and pain
But we both get up so high
Just to come down again
And now you're like a rocket disengaging

Everything of yours I've gathered up
When you come 'round here
You won't be drinking from my cup
And I've been fast asleep
But now I'm waking
It had to happen sometime

I'm rising up
I'm right over you
So fly away
Cause that's the best thing you can do
Don't keep telling me how I should feel about us
I don't feel anything, baby

There was love, I can't deny
But your arms can't hold on to me
So just keep them by your side
Your eyes won't always be spilling over
Yeah, it had to happen sometime

I'm rising up
I'm right over you
So fly away
Cause that's the best thing you can do
Don't keep telling me how I should feel about us
I don't feel anything, baby

Maybe we could have grown
But if I made a mistake
God knows, I found out without you
Don't fool yourself

All those things you thought we'd see
Well, you gonna have to save them for someone on me
One day you will move on and there you'll be forever
Forever, forever

I was just about to begin singing the chorus again when Jennie came in. There was a small light in her eyes as opened her mouth to speak.

“So you’re sitting here alone and playing music as usually,” She said and sat down next to me.

“Well, I was alone until you came,” I said.

“Oh, okay,” she said quite. “If you want too be alone just say so. I just came to tell you that we will be in Paris in about 20 min,” Jennie stood up from that way.

“No, I didn’t mean in that way,” I said. “Come back and talk to me,” she smiled at me and sat down again.

“A new song?” she looked down at my guitar and I nodded. “Let’s hear it again,” she said and I played it over and over again as we fixed errors together just like all our songs.

[Frank pov]
Paris was really like Paris always was when we were there, it was total chaos. We were there in two days the first day we had this signing in a record store that took all day. But we didn’t really mind, it was for the sake of our fans. They stood in line for hours just to get an autograph, a picture or hug. When we got back to our hotel we were all really tired and fell right to sleep. There had been no time to even say hi to Ebba and now they were out somewhere on the town having the time of their lives as I stood on the balcony and smoked. I knew that they had been walking around in the city all day checking out every little part of the city of love. In my head I counted the many times we had actually been in Paris and summed it up to a handful of times but never had I really seen the city, never had I been a tourist in this town. As I walked in to the room I watched as Gerard snored in his bed and threw a eye on the clock, it was Friday and eleven at night. This wasn’t the rock star life I had signed up for though touring was so much more today it just felt like something I had to do instead of what I wanted.

“Hey!” I thought and picked up my phone. This wasn’t going to be one of those times where I’d be lazy and do what I was already doing. I wanted to go out, so I called her but she didn’t pick up.

[Ebba pov]
My day in Paris was really amazing. I had a chance to see all the places that I once had seen in my French book in my firth period French class. I took a lot pictures and we say the famous pieces of Paris. Also did I actually spook a little oh so poor French during the day, I got a bit bummed when our tour manager told us we wouldn’t hang out with the band all day. Soon, after an hour or so I didn’t remember to miss him anymore, was that bad?

“Oh, look!” Julia said and ran over to a big fountain that I was pretty sure was famous but I couldn’t actually remember the name of. “Take a picture of me!” she climbed up on to the rail and gave me a huge smile and I snapped a frame as the sun played with her hair.

“What time is it?” Tove called all of the sudden as she sat down by the fountain and put her feats out in the air showing they were sore from all the walking. As the good friend I was I pulled my phone out to check but also as the clumsy person I am dropped it.

“Splash!” the sound of the water and I looked as the phone sank to bottom. First I laughed, laughed that I was who I always had been and it wasn’t the first phone that had been destroyed by my clumsiness. Then I realised how would I now text Frank? How could I call someone when I got lost?

My hand reached down and fished it out of the water, it didn’t look that bad, except that it probably had mayor water damages.

“How many does that make?” Jennie said turned towards Julia.

“The fifth this year I believe!” Julia responded and smiled.

“Ey, shut up!” I called and mourned my phone for a while but soon forgot all about that too.

By the time I went to bed my feet were all numb after all the walking. I fell asleep before my head even touched the pillow. That night I sleep really well and woke up smiling the next morning. The others were all asleep so I left the hotel room and walk down to the dining area to get some coffee and maybe a croissant. When in France you know. It was all empty when I entered the room. I looked at a big watch on the wall, 9.30. I grabbed my coffee, a croissant and an English newspaper, curious about what was happening in the world. I sat down by the window and opened the paper.

“Hey, do you mind if I sit here,” someone said and I putted the paper and saw Gerard standing in front of me also holding a cup of coffee.

“Good morning, no not at all,” I said and Gerard sat down.

“Anything interesting?” he said and looked at the paper.

“No, not anything,” An awkward silence came between us.

“Ehm, so I saw that you were holding a camera the other day…” Gerard began and broke the silence. “Do you like to take pictures?”

“Yeah, I really love to do that!” I replayed still our conversation was really awkward. We had only known each other for what a week and barley exchanged that many words throughout that time since he was pretty busy and so were we.

“Oh, that’s cool. I like to draw things,” he said. “Are you any good at photographing?

“Well I’d like to think so,” I said and looked down at the table, trying to find a conversation starter that would send me off talking for hours like I could sometimes. After a while I found it very easy to talk to Gerard and I learned a lot from him, perhaps a little too much at some point. Though in the end I felt like Gerard was the kind of guy you’d want in your life.

After my breakfast with Gerard I brought some breakfast up to the room to Julia, Jennie and Tove.

“Wake up, it is beautiful day outside,” I walked over to the window and pulled away the curtains, it was raining. “Well big deal if is raining, were going to play a show tonight,” Jennie sat up in her bed but Julia pulled her cover over her head groaning, Tove was in the bathroom showering. I jumped up onto her bed and stated to jump up and down.

“C’mon Julia!” I said and pulled away both her cover and her pillow. She smiled at me and pushed me of the bed.

“Okay! I’m up!” she raised her hands in defeat and stuck her tong out of her mouth. Though seconds later she was all into the breakfast I brought.

“Yeah, good! Have all the breakfast,” I said and pointed at the tray I’d brought up. “Later!” I said and left the room and walked across the corridor and knocked on Frank’s and Mikey’s door. Mikey opened the door just a sec later like had been standing right by the door.

“Oh hi, Ebba,” he said smiling. “I was just heading down to have breakfast, wanna join me?”

“Oh, no I’ve already eaten,” I saw that Mikey became disappointed so I quickly added. “Some other day, okay?”

“Yeah sure!” he said.

“Is Frank here? I need to ask him something,”

“Yeah, just come on in,” he said and I walked in and Mikey walked down to the dining area. In the room there were two big beds in each end of the room. I saw Frank laying in one of them with a pillow over his head. It was odd that he had his shoes on. I walk to him a lay down on his chest and Frank laid his arms around me.

“Oh, it’s really nice to see you again Ebb,” Gerard said and I became aware that it was Gerard in the bed and not Frank. I pulled away the pillow and saw Gerard smiling at me.

“Yeah, I realised that you hadn’t given me a morning hug jet,” I said and hid my surprise to have realised that it wasn’t Frank. I sat up again and a second later Frank came out from the bathroom with a green toothbrush in his mouth, he wasn’t wearing a tee-shirt.

“Oh, I thought I heard your voice Ebb,” he said smiling. “Could you come in the bathroom I need some female advice on something. I don’t think Gerard can help me,” I nodded and followed him into the bathroom.

“Close the door!” he whispered and without a sound a closed it. A second later Frank’s lips met mine. His hand in my hair and my arms around his waist.

So later that night we played another concert, this one was more amazing than the others. They were all really, really great. But this one was special somehow. I didn’t want it to be over but it was time to en with one last song.

“Today I was thinking we were going to end differently than usually, this because I feel like breaking rules from time to time. This song was only finished yesterday and we have only played it once before earlier this morning. But since this is the first time I have ever been to Paris I wanted you to create a special place in my memory. And it means sharing these words with you; the song is about how love at some point might end. Note the might! This is raising up. Un chaison pour nous!”

By the end I had tears in my eyes, I was so happy. It was really the best we had ever played and the crowed cheered like forever.

“Way to go and to steal the show from us,” Frank said as I left the stage.

“Yeah, your lyric was awesome really!” Gerard said who stood next to Frank. “I wanted to ask you something,” he continued.

“Okay, shoot,” I said.

“Do you wanna come up on stage with us and sing a song or something.” He said. “Like Helena?”

“Hell yeah! Of course if you want me to I’ll do it!” I said exited and he smiled and began to walk on to the stage. After getting myself some water I went to stand on the side of the stage as I did when they were playing. I became really happy when they began to play my favourite song, ‘You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison,” There wasn’t really anywhere else in the world I would like to be right now. I remember just a couple years ago when I was 12 and I had bought my first guitar. I spent the whole summer playing on it. Sometimes being close to throwing it into the wall or sometime just letting the music take me over. And to stand here now is unbelievable. Dreams do really come true.