I Want to Scream 'I Love You'

“Look who actually showed up today.”

I spun around to find Noelle, arms crossed, foot tapping as she leaned on her desk. With a shake of my head, I shrugged her off.

“Oh yeah, because I really wanted to stay away from school and be up until four in the morning doing makeup homework.” I scoffed lightheartedly. She grimaced, thinking about how much work I must’ve had.

“Well, Shorty’s out of the hospital, right?” She pulled herself into her desk and pulled out whatever homework we were supposed to do last night.

“Yeah, she is, and, surprisingly, she’s really doing great. I’m amazed really, she actually missed going to school.” I said as I felt Patrick slide into his desk behind me, automatically bringing a smile to my face.

“Ah, school. Didn’t you miss it’s awesome hormonal teenage glory?” He smirked as he asked, obviously knowing I was despising being back.

“Right.” I scoffed, throwing an eye roll into it. “Because everyone’s favorite thing is to do is to wake up early in the morning, tired as hell, and drag themselves to school where they do nothing except for take notes, do work, and worry about their future. Oh, the joy of being seniors.”

Patrick chuckled, and shrugged. “Of course.”

The bell sounded, emitting a much too familiar tone. Groaning, I turned forward in my desk, now facing the back of some kid’s head; his dark hair twisting into oily curls, almost dripping grease. With a sigh, I threw my head back onto Patrick’s desk, smiling as he was upside-down to me now.

He stuck his tongue out at me before glancing up. Something caught his eye, and he stayed staring at it. Curious as to what he was staring at, I looked up to see our teacher, standing very annoyed, looking at me.

“Nice to have you back, Ms. Jones. Enjoy your vacation?” His foot was tapping annoyingly as he glared at me.

I, being too tired and lazy to put up a fight, just had enough energy to heave a shrug.

“Great, now, would you be ever so kind to at least act like you care about what I’m saying?” He was more than annoyed at this point. I could imagine his face turning bright red and smoke steaming out of ears, just like the Saturday morning cartoons that never get old.

I responded with a nod, deciding it was my best way to stay out of trouble. Sure, I guess I could start babbling out some apology that I didn’t mean, or I could not talk in front of the class.

I obviously chose the latter.

He huffed, turning back to the whiteboard and writing something down I probably should’ve copied into my notes, but chose not to.

Behind me, I could hear Patrick giggling, I assumed, at me. With a smirk, I swung my foot back, hitting the leg of his desk, causing his books to slide down and land with a poomph as they hit the ground.

I leaned forward quickly in my desk and buried my head in my hands in attempt to stop myself from laughing out loud, almost praying that the teacher wouldn't have noticed. This was the last straw; I didn’t like him, he didn’t like me, and I’d already caused problems today.

I listened carefully, hearing Patrick mumble something incoherent as he picked up his books up off the ground. More distant, I could make out the voice of our teacher droning on, seeming unfazed from his incessant babbling.

Feeling it was safe to look, I pulled my head out of my hands to peek back at Patrick, who shook his head at me. I smiled innocently, earning a smirk from him as he dropped his stuff back onto his desk.

Pleased with myself, I turned back forward, deciding I owed the teacher at least a little bit of my attention, though, finding quickly that keeping my mind focused solely on him was next to impossible.

Instead, I laid back in my seat, resting my head in my hand, my elbow propped up on the metal bar of the desk, slowly letting my brain wander off. It was my first day back, I deserved a little bit of leeway on the concentration issue.

***

Back and forth, I switched my overstuffed backpack from my arm, to my shoulder, to my other side, and again. Finally, after a few moments of not finding peace, I flung it around my right arm, sliding it all the way up my shoulder with a sigh.

Behind me, I could hear the ever-familiar giggling and I spun around to find Patrick following my tracks.

“Having issues?” He cocked his head gave me his little smirk, being as damn adorable as ever.

“Psh, no,” I shrugged him off, and he took a few long strides, meeting up to match my pace.

“Can I walk with you? I want to see how Danielle’s doing.”

I chuckled, twisting my right arm around to get blood flowing back through it. “Nooo, of course not,” I kidded.

He looked at me sideways, eyeing me carefully, then quickly switching to a pout and turning away from me. I laughed again, stepping in front of him and smiled at him.

“Kidding, Patrick, of course you can come see Danielle. She probably misses you already anyway,” I told him, letting my bag slide down from my shoulder and hit the ground.

He shook his head stubbornly. “No, no, I wouldn’t want to be a bother.” He was struggling to not smile and averting his eyes anywhere but me.

“Aw, come on, please?” I played along, not trying as hard to hide my smile.

He thought it over, tapping his chin in deep thought. “On one condition,” he considered, “come to this party with me tonight.”

I scoffed, “A party? On Monday night? Are you crazy?”

“Pete’s throwing it, he’s out of high school but I kinda have to go, so you should come with me. Just as,” he paused, looking to the side, then back at me, “just as friends.”

“Well…” I considered, reaching down to my backpack. Any part of me denied going to the party as soon as Danielle entered my mind. “No, I can’t. I have Danielle.”

He threw his head back and sighed. “I forgot about her.”

I glanced up to the clock hanging on the wall, gathering my bag and lobbing it over my shoulder once again. “Speaking of her, we have to hurry. Their bell rings in five-ish minutes.”

“Alright, let’s go.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, hesitantly at first. I leaned into him as I walked, not voluntarily, as my backpack weighed me down, but I wasn’t complaining either.

On the way there, I knew I should’ve been walking faster, or quickening my pace, but I found comfort where I was, and I wasn’t in any rush to end it.

“My mom could watch Danielle.”

I glanced up at Patrick and chuckled, shaking my head at him. “Hell, no.”

His brows furrowed, his lips in a straight line. “You don’t like her?”

“No-yes, what I mean is yes, I love her. No, I’m not going to have her watch Danielle. Didn’t I tell you before that babysitting her was a one time thing?”

“Twice. I’ve babysat her twice.” He smirked, obviously proud of himself.

“Fine. Two time thing. And that’s it.”

He pouted, his bottom lip swelling as he gave shot me a heartbreaking look. I held back a chuckle and, instead, shook my head with pursed lips.

Sighing, he gave up the act, and we walked the remainder of the path in silence.

***

Kids were already running amok as we approached the school. We’d missed the bell by about two minutes.

My heart rate hitched as I searched for Danielle, hoping and praying she didn’t take things into her own hands and try to walk home by herself, or maybe, climb into a stranger’s car.

I calmed down, though, as I saw her chatting with some other kids, sitting on the ground next to the tree where we always meet after school.

Her blue eyes caught sight of me, and she was up, galloping towards me in no time. Patrick chuckled next to me as she approached, smiling with her windblown hair whipping around each way.

“Can I go to Hannah’s tonight?” She bounced back and forth on her feet, still smiling as her eyes begged me.

“It’s Monday night, Danielle, I don’t think tonight would be good.” She pulled the same pout as Patrick, and I sighed, shaking my head. “How about Friday? Or Saturday? It’s a school night.”

“B-but, I won’t spend the night. I just want to go, pleaseee?”

I wanted to say yes, but, for all I know, Danielle probably hasn’t even asked Hannah, or her mom. She could just be trying to get out of the house or something, and I doubt that Hannah’s mom would want-

“Hi, sorry about that,” I turned to face Hannah’s mom, Lucy. She was an old-fashioned type of person, and we knew each other pretty well. It was rare either of us went a week without being bothered by the kids to spend the night at someone’s house. She was the first person that was truly there for me once Danielle and I moved into the apartment. She’d kept me sane. Stopping by for visits, taking Danielle off my hands for a few hours, or just keeping a light mood, she’d always been there to help me through anything.

“It was my idea to have Danielle come over for dinner. Hannah’s just been talking about how much she missed Danielle for the past week. I should’ve consulted you first,” she continued, as Hannah appeared next to Danielle, both of them giggling about something.

I flashed my smile, and ruffled Danielle’s hair. “No, no, it’s fine. I just thought Shorty, here, was just assuming she could come over.”

“Of course not, she’s always welcome. So, what do you say, can she come over?”

Hannah joined Danielle with pleading eyes. I smiled and looked back up to Lucy. “Okay, until how long were you thinking?”

“Well, I figured I’d just save you the trip, and she can come home with us, then stay until, oh, eight-thirty-ish? I can drop her off.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Patrick smirk, and I could just tell what had crossed his mind.

“Sure, sounds good.” Danielle latched herself to my leg, a huge grin plastered to her face.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she sang. I reached down and pressed my lips to her forehead.

“You behave, got it? I don’t want you getting into any trouble. Oh, and, keep it cool. You don’t need to get sick again.” She nodded affirmatively, running off with Hannah as Lucy waved.

Patrick and I started our way back home, feeling empty-handed not having Danielle with us.

“So, you don’t have Danielle tonight,” he hinted, a smirk faintly appeared across his lips.

“I do at eight-thirty,” I countered, “ish.”

“You wouldn’t be free from seven to eight apparently,” he replied sarcastically. I cursed under my breath, thinking the party would’ve been later than that.

“The party’s only an hour long?” I asked, slipping out of character.

He shook his head. “Nooo, that’s just the hour I have to be there for. It goes until two, I’m assuming.”

“Fine,” I sighed, “fine, I’ll go to your party.”

He chuckled, smiling prominently at me. “Thank youuu,” he tackle-hugged me, almost knocking me to the ground, “I swear to God, the party was going to be so boring.”

“And I’m going to make it any less boring?” I questioned, trying to keep my mind off how close he was, and how I could feel his breath on my neck, and how he emitted this scent that almost put the world at ease, and how he-

“Yes, in fact, you are. Trust me, these parties are nothing fun or important. Just a bunch of drunk idiots running around and doing stupid things.”

I laughed, just now noticing that we were walking again, his arm back around my shoulders, “Wow, now I really am excited.” I rolled my eyes.

“You already said you’d go, so, ha! You can’t back out now.”

“Who said I can’t back out?” I challenged.

“Uhm, me?” I laughed again as the apartment building came into sight. We stopped at the front door step and he stalled, not that I was hoping he’d leave.

“So, I’ll pick you up at six-thirty?” he asked. I nodded in confirmation, still not turning towards the door, or pulling out my keys. I guess I was stalling pretty bad too.

“Alright, well,” he leaned over and pressed his lips to my forehead, his cheeks burning as he pulled away. I bit my bottom lip, trying to hide my smile. “See you in a little bit.”

“Yeah,” I gave up trying to conceal it and just smiled, “yeah, see you then.”

He ambled down the steps, and I turned to the door, punching in the code and pushing it open. Running my hand through my hair, I jogged up the stairs and into my apartment. I could almost sense tonight was going to be interesting.