Hidden Beneath the Sleeves
11
The senarios running through my head were endless. I didn't know what I wanted to happen, or what could happen. I was scared.
I knew I wanted to say something to Damien. I knew it was time he found out about what was really going on. I didn't know how he was going to react. But I also knew one other thing, deep down, I knew we weren't meant to be together.
I lifted my head high straightened my back and walked across the street confident about what I was prepared to do.
Crossing the street the knots in my stomach got tighter, my heart started pounding, and my palms started getting sweaty. Nothing was going to stop me now though. Damien was sitting on the bench watching the empty play structure. He looked so broken, and fragile.
I walked so I stood directly in front of him. He looked up at me, and was about to say something but I put up my hand to stop him. "this," I said motioning to him and myself, "Us, isn't working anymore, we need to break up. But there are some things you need to know before we part ways," he stayed silent, he didn't look surprised, he knew this was coming, so I continued. "Kyle is my best friend, I would never Cheat on you or anyone else for that matter, with him or anyone. Were so close because he knows my biggest secret. And no it wasn't about the cutting because you knew about that." I took a minute to collect my thoughts, trying to figure out how I was going to tell him, he just sat there quietly and patiently waiting for me to continue. "It'll be easier if I just start the beginning," I told him how my mother died when I was nine and all that had happened since her death, "Kyle's always been there to help be through the abuse. I know I need to get out but I just can't, not yet." I couldn't look at him, I kept my eyes on my lap waiting for him to say something.
"I'm so sorry Kylie, I was an idiot I should have realized what was going on."
"It's not your fault, I hid it well,"
"That's no excuse, I should have done something, I will do something!"
"No! You can't!" I yelled at him, "you can't tell anyone, you have to keep this a secret!" I pleaded him.
"But Kylie this isn't just some school yard bully, this is your father ABUSING you!"
"Not so loud," I said shushing him, "You think I don't know that, I know I need to get out, and I will... Just not yet."
"But-"
"No buts, you have to keep this a secret, if it gets out more then just me could get hurt, ok?"
He dint answer right away, but after a minute he whisper a small ok, defeated.
"Thank you, but I have to leave or Paul will beat me home and that's never a good idea."
I got up from the bench to walk to my car, "I'll walk you to your car," we walked to my car and I unlocked the door, as I turned around to say goodbye he pulled me in for a hug, "I love you Kylie, please be ok."
"I will be," I said with a small smile. I pulled out of the hug, got into my car, and pulled out of the parking lot. I was happy I had dealt with that, if I hadn't it would have been just another thing weighing on my shoulders. The short drive home, wasn't tearful like I expected.
I pulled into my driveway, expecting to find it empty, paul shouldn't be home till five and it was only just after four. But the driveway wasn't empty, it wasn't Paul's car in the driveway though, it was an old beat up blue van. I hesitated getting out of the car, almost waiting for someone to jump out of the van and grab me. I got to the door safely and jiggled the Handle, it was still locked. I grabbed my keys from my bag, opened up the door and walked inside.
I knew I wanted to say something to Damien. I knew it was time he found out about what was really going on. I didn't know how he was going to react. But I also knew one other thing, deep down, I knew we weren't meant to be together.
I lifted my head high straightened my back and walked across the street confident about what I was prepared to do.
Crossing the street the knots in my stomach got tighter, my heart started pounding, and my palms started getting sweaty. Nothing was going to stop me now though. Damien was sitting on the bench watching the empty play structure. He looked so broken, and fragile.
I walked so I stood directly in front of him. He looked up at me, and was about to say something but I put up my hand to stop him. "this," I said motioning to him and myself, "Us, isn't working anymore, we need to break up. But there are some things you need to know before we part ways," he stayed silent, he didn't look surprised, he knew this was coming, so I continued. "Kyle is my best friend, I would never Cheat on you or anyone else for that matter, with him or anyone. Were so close because he knows my biggest secret. And no it wasn't about the cutting because you knew about that." I took a minute to collect my thoughts, trying to figure out how I was going to tell him, he just sat there quietly and patiently waiting for me to continue. "It'll be easier if I just start the beginning," I told him how my mother died when I was nine and all that had happened since her death, "Kyle's always been there to help be through the abuse. I know I need to get out but I just can't, not yet." I couldn't look at him, I kept my eyes on my lap waiting for him to say something.
"I'm so sorry Kylie, I was an idiot I should have realized what was going on."
"It's not your fault, I hid it well,"
"That's no excuse, I should have done something, I will do something!"
"No! You can't!" I yelled at him, "you can't tell anyone, you have to keep this a secret!" I pleaded him.
"But Kylie this isn't just some school yard bully, this is your father ABUSING you!"
"Not so loud," I said shushing him, "You think I don't know that, I know I need to get out, and I will... Just not yet."
"But-"
"No buts, you have to keep this a secret, if it gets out more then just me could get hurt, ok?"
He dint answer right away, but after a minute he whisper a small ok, defeated.
"Thank you, but I have to leave or Paul will beat me home and that's never a good idea."
I got up from the bench to walk to my car, "I'll walk you to your car," we walked to my car and I unlocked the door, as I turned around to say goodbye he pulled me in for a hug, "I love you Kylie, please be ok."
"I will be," I said with a small smile. I pulled out of the hug, got into my car, and pulled out of the parking lot. I was happy I had dealt with that, if I hadn't it would have been just another thing weighing on my shoulders. The short drive home, wasn't tearful like I expected.
I pulled into my driveway, expecting to find it empty, paul shouldn't be home till five and it was only just after four. But the driveway wasn't empty, it wasn't Paul's car in the driveway though, it was an old beat up blue van. I hesitated getting out of the car, almost waiting for someone to jump out of the van and grab me. I got to the door safely and jiggled the Handle, it was still locked. I grabbed my keys from my bag, opened up the door and walked inside.