Where's My Happily Ever After?

I was sitting on Edwin’s bed, crying, as I had been doing for the past hour. I knew I loved him even still, but he didn’t love me back despite what he said. He didn’t trust me, so he didn’t care. But I did and that was killing me slowly!

“Jade?” I was glad to hear someone’s voice other than Edwin’s.

“Hi, Nathan,” I mumbled, ridding my face of my tears.

“How are you holding up?” he asked quietly, stepping gingerly up to me. “I heard the news.”

“He’s not fussing or anything, so I’m alright. I don’t think I’m totally ready for a baby, though, and two months won’t change that, but I digress.”

“Edwin will be a great dad, I swear... You could still take him back, you know. I know he’s not the smartest man alive, but he misses you. He’s been moping the whole time you were gone and he was so close to death. That spark in his eyes came back the second he saw you and I hate to think of what would happen if you were gone. He loves you, Jade.”

“You act as though I’m the one who threw him out on his ass!” I growled through clenched teeth, annoyed with this know-it-all.

“Well, you did.”

I glowered at him. He was such an arrogant moron! “He kicked me out!”

He looked a little more than confused. “He told me you didn’t love him anymore...”

I laughed harshly. “He called me a whore and ripped his ring off my finger. I hardly think that’s translated to ‘Jade doesn’t love Edwin’! I’m only here because he wants to take his kid from me the moment our baby is born.” Nathaniel gave me a sad look as if this conversation was hurting him more than it was hurting me. And I highly doubted that! But all of a sudden he looked pissed enough to throw an expectant woman named Jade down a flight of stairs!

“Did you ever think that maybe—just maybe—he brought you here in the hopes that he could raise a family with the only woman he has ever loved?!”

“No. And stop making that face. You look constipated.” And I actually said that in a serious voice, too. It’s not as easy as you think, especially if you had seen the face he’d made! “Or maybe like someone just shoved a twenty foot pole up your ass and then kicked you wearing clown shoes as he juggled at my cousin’s birthday party that time I was seven.”

“You’re impossible!” he screamed, probably annoyed with my random ramblings. I shrugged, knowing full well why he was being so grumpy.

“Oh, you’re just saying that because you’re mad that you can’t feel sweet relief!” I yelled back.

“It’s good to have you home,” he muttered dryly. I shook my head.

“I’m not staying.” He smirked and I scowled.

“Oh, you are. Edwin will be watching you like a hawk and so will I. I’m not letting my best friend sink back into that depression.”

I hissed at him and he laughed defiantly as he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

And to think I used to consider him to be as fun as a bowl full of sunshine!

“Dickweed!” I yelled after him, sobbing even more. And a thought came to me. Edwin wouldn’t like it, though. But I had no doubt in my mind that he hadn’t found where I’d hid it. Hell, he probably didn’t even know I had one!

Smiling, I pulled out the razorblade I had hidden under his bed four months ago. I grinned as a slit formed and blood dripped out.

I had forgotten what it felt like to feel so relaxed...