Bushels of Bad Habits

We spent the night on the beach then so that we...well because...It's just that...well, I guess it was because we could. Brendon claimed it was so he could sleep better and Ryan later told me that the waves might help calm Spencer and keep his mind off of the past few days. Either way, we spent the night there.

But, I know for a fact that the so called "calming" and "relaxing" waves didn't help Spencer at all. He kept me up that night, talking in his sleep. It wasn't anything of importance, just what you would expect to hear from a man who just lost his mother that he loved dearly.But, there was one phrase, that he melted my heart with. A simple word and two names, each name repeated twice. "Jon, Jon....mommy's gone." I quietly awed at his unconscious way with words. He cuddled up to me and repeated, "Mommy's gone...."

"It's alright, Spin, I know." I whispered as quietly as I could and played with his hair.

I wish I could tell you that I was telling the truth there, but I'm not a fan of liars. I didn't know how it felt to loose a parent, I still had both of mine.The best I could do was imagine what it felt like. And, every time I did, I stopped myself. I didn't want Spencer feeling like that. He didn't deserve it.

All that night I held him close, trying to help him sleep better, even when he kicked me. Spence didn't mean it though, he was just dreaming.

It had to be about noon when we got back to Spin's place and Brendon and Ryan went their own way. We both went to our rooms to deposit our belongings. I set my bag on my bed and placed my i-pod on the bed stand. I looked at my bass, the poor thing, I hadn't even looked at it for about three days then.

The kitchen was oddly quiet as I fixed a cup a cup of coffee, which I had been craving for a few hours, Spencer was probably still in his room. But, he must of been able to sneak past me, I jumped what felt like feet when his answering machine started talking in the dining room;
"If you want to be a jerk to me, and not answer, fine. But Mother's funeral is on Friday at noon. It's not my fault she died, Spin. Oh, we go to loot the house on Thursday, she didn't leave a will. Daddy's- Phile to you- keeping the house though. Sorry, looks like that will belong to Jackie and I. Good-bye, Spin" Crystal's obviously angered voice rang out.

There was a light "Thud" and the sound of a blanket covering something up. Curiosity got the better of me. That and my concern for Spencer. So, I grabbed my coffee and walked into the living room. Sure enough, there was a blue blob of blanket laying down on the couch. I set my mug on the coffee table and sat next to said blob.We stayed quiet for a while, the only thing audible was Spencer's hyperventilating.

"Shh...relax, Spencer." I whispered as I put my mug down after taking a sip.

"Lay next to me." He whimpered his demand.

I followed his orders and kicked off my shoes to lay next to him. I uncovered him first, slipping beneath the blanket too, before covering us both up, heads under, too. Almost instantly Spencer cuddled up to me, his head close to my throat and his arms around my neck, as he sobbed.

"I know Spin, I know." I said as I started to play with his hair.

"It's official. I hate them. They think that just because mom met Phile, had them, and Phile didn't leave that they're better then me. My mom owned that house, Jon. We lived there for a year before she even met Phile. And now it's going to be in hid name and he's gonna give it to the Spawns of Satan when it's his time to rot." Spencer ranted shakily, still holding onto me.

"Come on Spencer, you don't hate them." I put my hand around the back of his neck and rubbed my thumb over his hair line.

"Yes. I. Do."

"I'm sure your mom wouldn't want you to hate them." I whispered.

"They stole her from me!" Spencer didn't quite yell, but he clenched a fistful of my hair.

"Just try to relax, Spence." I tried to sound as if the fact he was pulling my hair didn't hurt.

"Jon, I wish I could." He took a deep breath. "But she was all I had left. And she was stolen from me."

"Spin?"

He sniffled.

"You know you have me, right? I will always be there for you. I vow, right here and now, with your mom's spirit as my witness, to be your teddy-bear when sad, your snot rag when your sick, your umbrella when it's raining, I'll be your murder accomplice when your mad, your band-aid when your cut, and your brother whenever and wherever you need me." I said as I wiped his tears as they fell.

He was quiet a minute. "Jon, that was-" His voice cracked"-the single most kindest thing anyone has ever told me....than-thank you."

"Of course. After all, you are officially my brother."

We spent the rest of the day on the couch. We slept in bed though. Spencer's subconscious decided to talk again.

I can remember waking up the next day to my alarm clock, I must of forgotten to turn it off. But, that's not the thing that confused me. That would be the fact that Spencer wasn't next to me. I searched my room before the house; the closet, under the bed, and for some odd reason, a feeble last attempt I guess, my sock drawer.

I gave a sigh and left the room, trying to keep calm. Relax, it's not like her went to commit suicide It was that thought though, that drove me over the edge. I all but ran to the kitchen after I briefly opened his bed-room door to see he wasn't there.

"Where's the fire?" Spencer asked from the dining room as I jetted into the kitchen.

"Oh, thank God." I sounded relieved despite the fact I tried to hide it.

Spencer sat at his dining room table, a steaming mug in his hands. He had bags under his eyes, which were blood shot, and was topless. But his hair was wet, so at least I was able to tell he hadn't just been sitting around doing nothing, he'd showered.

"Wait, what?" Spencer asked, confused by my relief.

"It's nothing, Spin." I said as I sat next to him.

"I scared you, huh?" He almost sounded ashamed.

"A little." I admitted.

"I'm sorry." He put his head on my shoulder.

"It's okay Spencer. You didn't do anything wrong."

Spencer didn't reply, he sighed shakily and drenched my shoulder. I didn't mind though, I just wanted to comfort him. I wrapped my arm around him and held him to my side.

"Jon?" Spencer finally asked.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I left like that." He head was still on my shoulder.

"It's nothing to be upset over." I cooed, rubbing his bare arm.

"Don't ever leave me, Jon. Your all I have left." Spin was choking back his tears.

"Spencer, I will never leave you."

We got quiet.

"So, why were you up so early, couldn't sleep?" I tried to change the subject.

"I haven't been feeling so good. Upset stomach." Spencer put his hand on his stomach.

"You could of woken me, I wouldn't of minded any."

No reply, just tears.

It was less then ten minutes when Spencer ran to the bathroom and slammed the door. I didn't believe that he was seriously sick. I thought he wanted me to think he'd gotten over his mom. That running to the bathroom was just part of a cleverly though out plan to keep me from worrying. I took a quick sip of his coffee. I almost spit it out. The reason Spin felt sick and got upset so easily became clear to me. The coffee was heavily spiked with a hard Scotch. Spence had been drinking.