Bushels of Bad Habits

The scratches from Thursday still stung and the bruises were still sore as I put on my suite jacket. Jon was surprised when I came home on Thursday looking like I did, but I wasn't. He insisted that we went to the hospital, so, we did. I was surprised however, when they gave me three stitches on a (they called it a gash) scratch below my right eye. We told them I fell down a flight of stairs, they believed us. In reality though, I was attacked by the Spawns of Satan.

On Thursday, I went to the house. Crystal and Jackie were already there, Phile had left so we could take what we wanted of mom's. I only wanted two things. The only things she had ever kept of my dad's, hoping he would someday come back to us, though he never did. Her first wedding ring and my father's class ring. She had promised both to me a long, long time ago.

So, as Crystal and Jackie started bickering over some old vase, I ran to Mom and Phile's room. But, Crystal and Jackie's foot-steps were right behind me as I shut the door. I didn't have anytime to look, they'd take the whole jewelry box before I could look for the rings. Instead of frantically searching the box as fast as I could and praying that I found them, I grabbed it and ran for my life. I got to the living room when Crystal tackled me, her dyed black hair everywhere. Jackie joined her in a matter of seconds. Both of them tried to pry the box from my hands. And, when they realized that it wasn't working, they all out attacked me.

Jackie had taken karate lessons for a few years when she was twelve, so she was the cause of the bruises. Crystal, however, had no knowledge of fighting what-so-ever, dumb as a rock in all areas of life but her bed. And, thus the scratches and "gash" came into play. I managed to somehow shake them off. I ran for my car, arms flailing and bleeding. Once I got to my car I locked the doors and literally peeled out. The whole way home I had to of at least driving twice the legal limit.

"Hey, Spence?" Jon entered my room, knocking me out of my reminisce.

"Yea?" I turned around to see him with his tie in a thick knot around his neck, I couldn't help but smile.

"Can I get some Help?" He smiled sheepishly.

"Come here." I chuckled.

I didn't even ask how Jon put such a know in his tie, I wasn't too sure I wanted to know. So, quietly, with the exception of a light chuckle here or there at the thought, I worked at the knot. And, once I was done with it, I flipped Jon's collar up to untwist the tie before finally tying it for him.

"Thanks. Do I look alright?" He asked when I was done as he turned a full circle.

"You look perfect....for a funeral attendee." My smiled flipped.

Jun hugged me; "It'll be alright. If it helps any, you look perfect too."

I tried to smile.

"Come on, let's do this." We left the room.

There wasn't a whole lot of people there, Brendon and Ryan were among them though. Both gave me their respects. They weren't allowed to be Paul Bear's though, which I threw a fit over. Phile told me to shut up and deal with it, that they "Weren't worthy enough".

It was noon when the funeral started. I had to sit up front with Phile and the Spawns, they wouldn't let me be with Jon and the Guys or vice-versa. I choked back tears the entire rime, trying to look strong in front of Phile and trying to be better then the girls. Crystal "fainted", my Aunt got her back to consciousness and then left with her.

Uncle James, Cousin Tristan, Cousin Nataniel, Jon (surprise), and I ended up being the Paul Bear's. As the closed the casket, I almost fainted. Stumbling backwards, Jon caught me. Phile didn't want me to be a Bear after that, he said I'd faint and drop her on them. I kindly told him off. Jon looked like he wanted to slap Phile. I would of let him. And, thankfully, I was able to stick to my word, I didn't faint. But, I had Jon drive on the way to the grave-site.

I'm not going to go through the burial, it's boring to those who are not involved and it's not something I want to live through again.We didn't go to the Honor's Banquet, I couldn't stand Phile and Jackie anymore.

When we got home, I went to my room. I kicked off my shoes, took off my suite jacket, slid off my tie, unbuckled my belt, and finally, after deciding that that would be as comfortable as I would get without going nude, I plopped onto my bed's welcoming mattress and buried myself under it's green sheets.

Okay, come on Smith. You got better thing to do with your mind then mope over Mom. I told myself, and it was true. Over the past few days, I had confuse myself throughly with my emotions. To put it simply, I was loosing it. So, at that time, instead of crying and having a Pity Party, I decided to sort my thoughts.

My feelings for Crystal, Jackie, and Phile were all to obvious to me. I hater them. No matter how much my mom wanted me to accept Phile as my own father, I never did. And, at that moment, I knew I never would. My own father may of chickened out and left before I had gotten to know him, before I could truly say I remembered him, but I was still convinced that he was a better man the Phile could ever dream of being.

I can't say I was mad at my mom. No, I can't blame her for leaving this messed up world. It must of just been her time, her spirit got restless...I guess. I think I was more confused with her, why didn't she live, even if it was her time? No, I take that back, I was just at a dead end for answers with her.

My brother. Jon. He was the one I was confused with. He was me "brother", yes. But there was just the occasional thought and the occasional feeling. Both of which kept coming more and more often. Hold me tighter. Hold me closer. Don't ever let go of me. Amazing eyes. His skin is so soft. Sensual Amber is all I ever want to smell again. Lay nest to me. The list kept getting longer and longer everyday.

And, of course, that's when I heard my door open. He didn't say anything, and I heard him shut the door behind him before he got on the bed, laying behind me. You'd think he'd want me to mourn. I didn't mind his company though, his presence kept my mind off of the tough subjects.

"So, I don't think you feel any better." Jon finally spoke.

I didn't reply, if anything, I got quieter. Don't speak, maybe he'll hold you.

"I was right." He whispered.

Still, I didn't answer. I didn't want to be talked to, I wanted to be held in his arms.

"Come here." He finally embraced me.

I stayed under my sheets, but I loved the feeling. A tear feel as the bitter thoughts came back. I wanted to cuddle into him, but I wasn't sure how, he held me from behind.

"Thanks." I decided to croak instead.

"After all, I am your brother."