You're Not In This Alone
010
[mikey's pov]
Awesome, we got away with walking out of Hot Topic and only using 10 bucks for a shirt on sale (to lower suspicion).
What we stole from there was an Avenged Sevenfold pick necklace, some black hair dye for Frankie since we think he'd look cool with black hair, a pair of fingerless gloves for Frankie since he really really loved them once he saw them, and a new Urban Decay eyeliner since Gee was running out.
It was easy though, to steal the merch, since we had big sacks on our backs. Well we weren't going to leave them someplace where someone could steal them!
"So where should we go now?" I ask the guys, since well...we don't really have any plans. They shrug so I decide to walk the street in front of us, because I think it looks nice and I don't know where to go - the only road I know from Newark to here is the road to the park, and we certainly can't take that road back home. Anyways, just because we're out in the streets, doesn't mean that we've got something to do, we've only met each other yesterday and it's not like we're gangsta's or anything now are we.
And two days isn't enough time to get over abuse, now is it. Probably not, but for Gee...our dad only started drinking when I was 10. Our mom wanted to divorce because she always felt something bad would happen but he kept reassuring her that he's got himself under control, even though he was more hot-tempered than usual when he came home drunk. But him catching me and Gerard kissing two years later really fired him up, and so he started hitting us and it's only been 3 years of hitting so it's not as bad as it could be. It took Gerard by surprise though, the hitting, so he kind of got into a shocked-depressed-confused mode from then on until he realized he can't let his own father give him that much shit, so every time our dad came home drunk (which happened more than a few times per week) he's block the door with everything in his room (which actually blocked our dad out 15% of the time when he was just piss drunk). Gee later realized, though, that when our dad does hit him, to ignore the pain as best as he can and to ignore the yelling and to ignore everything and think happy thoughts. It's hard but eventually he learned how to. Oh, but why did he hit Gerard and not me? I wanted him to, so that Gee wouldn't hurt as much but no, he told me that I'm real skinny and shouldn't take it. I, of course, had to hold him when he got beaten, I couldn't just watch him and cry I needed to be with him because seeing him get hurt like that hurt me...a lot. I didn't get hurt so I'm glad that we're away from that bastard.
And Frank? I dono, he's been hit since he was 2 years old, and he says that his mom only did a good job of helping heal his bruises until he was 6. Which is why he's so short (I mean seriously he's like miniature-sized to me) - his body was too busy fixing his wounds to grow normally. Well, he seems happy now that he's gone away but he's probably just too nice to let us think he's sad, I mean who gets over constant beating -not to mention rape- within 2 days? That's probably it, though. He looked like he felt so guilty over worrying me so much, I don't think he wants to worry us over him.
Whoa, man, that's selfless.
"Uh, Gerard, what are you doing?" Snapping out of my thoughts, I see Gerard lay down in the shade of a random tree on the grass.
"Mmm....sleeping." He answers, and cuddles into himself like a baby would. That's cute for me to see, really cute I want to cuddle in next to him now...no. No, Mikey! Step away and don't step any more forward! Mikey, what are you doing don't! Oh, fine. But only for a short while.
Yess! I let myself go and ran towards Gee, bodyslamming him on the grass (even though he was already there)!
"Ahh!" Gee says, jumping out of his position and into a light cross-legged sitting position. "Mikey. It's only you, I thought it was another nightmare." With that, he nears towards me, shoves his fingers on my stomach and wiggles them fiercely, causing me to erupt in laughter.
OH MY GOD!! It tickles so much!
"Gee, stop!" I say, as he moves his dancing hands all around my hips and waist and it just fucking tickles!
"Nah, Mikey! You know you like it!" Whoa, that sounded so sexy. But he's so good at tickling, and I just laugh harder, by this point I can't stop and it's actually starting to hurt my stomach a little.
By the time he backs off, probably deciding that that's enough of me laughing for the day -no, cut that. Any more and he'd send me laughing for the next week. And so I just lay there, limp, laughing more than I ever did. Take every time in my life that I've laughed, put it all together and it's probably not as much as I just laughed.
Gerard, waiting with Frank for 5 minutes now for me to stop, stares at me for my laugh to fade, which it just did, thank goodness.
"Uh, guys?" I say as the pair turn towards me. "I need to pee now." Gerard just bursts out laughing, Frank of course fakes a laugh. You can tell it's fake because he doesn't have that glow in his eyes that most people have when they laugh like that. I stand up, disappointed by him faking his emotions, but I guess I can't have any hard feelings toward him since he's trying so hard to keep me and GeeGee as friends even though it's probably killing him to keep his past locked inside. Well, when I talked about the shit that happened to me, it just made me dwell on it more and I became sadder than I was before. Franklin must have figured that out, too. But his past was longer and way more rough than mine, how can he get over it?
...I'll bet that Frankie hasn't thought of that, so he thinks that if he ignores it, it's gonna vanish from his mind. But it won't, it's too scarring to let go of. Poor fellow. What if I ask him about it, so that he can actually talk about it?
Something's telling me not to.
Awesome, we got away with walking out of Hot Topic and only using 10 bucks for a shirt on sale (to lower suspicion).
What we stole from there was an Avenged Sevenfold pick necklace, some black hair dye for Frankie since we think he'd look cool with black hair, a pair of fingerless gloves for Frankie since he really really loved them once he saw them, and a new Urban Decay eyeliner since Gee was running out.
It was easy though, to steal the merch, since we had big sacks on our backs. Well we weren't going to leave them someplace where someone could steal them!
"So where should we go now?" I ask the guys, since well...we don't really have any plans. They shrug so I decide to walk the street in front of us, because I think it looks nice and I don't know where to go - the only road I know from Newark to here is the road to the park, and we certainly can't take that road back home. Anyways, just because we're out in the streets, doesn't mean that we've got something to do, we've only met each other yesterday and it's not like we're gangsta's or anything now are we.
And two days isn't enough time to get over abuse, now is it. Probably not, but for Gee...our dad only started drinking when I was 10. Our mom wanted to divorce because she always felt something bad would happen but he kept reassuring her that he's got himself under control, even though he was more hot-tempered than usual when he came home drunk. But him catching me and Gerard kissing two years later really fired him up, and so he started hitting us and it's only been 3 years of hitting so it's not as bad as it could be. It took Gerard by surprise though, the hitting, so he kind of got into a shocked-depressed-confused mode from then on until he realized he can't let his own father give him that much shit, so every time our dad came home drunk (which happened more than a few times per week) he's block the door with everything in his room (which actually blocked our dad out 15% of the time when he was just piss drunk). Gee later realized, though, that when our dad does hit him, to ignore the pain as best as he can and to ignore the yelling and to ignore everything and think happy thoughts. It's hard but eventually he learned how to. Oh, but why did he hit Gerard and not me? I wanted him to, so that Gee wouldn't hurt as much but no, he told me that I'm real skinny and shouldn't take it. I, of course, had to hold him when he got beaten, I couldn't just watch him and cry I needed to be with him because seeing him get hurt like that hurt me...a lot. I didn't get hurt so I'm glad that we're away from that bastard.
And Frank? I dono, he's been hit since he was 2 years old, and he says that his mom only did a good job of helping heal his bruises until he was 6. Which is why he's so short (I mean seriously he's like miniature-sized to me) - his body was too busy fixing his wounds to grow normally. Well, he seems happy now that he's gone away but he's probably just too nice to let us think he's sad, I mean who gets over constant beating -not to mention rape- within 2 days? That's probably it, though. He looked like he felt so guilty over worrying me so much, I don't think he wants to worry us over him.
Whoa, man, that's selfless.
"Uh, Gerard, what are you doing?" Snapping out of my thoughts, I see Gerard lay down in the shade of a random tree on the grass.
"Mmm....sleeping." He answers, and cuddles into himself like a baby would. That's cute for me to see, really cute I want to cuddle in next to him now...no. No, Mikey! Step away and don't step any more forward! Mikey, what are you doing don't! Oh, fine. But only for a short while.
Yess! I let myself go and ran towards Gee, bodyslamming him on the grass (even though he was already there)!
"Ahh!" Gee says, jumping out of his position and into a light cross-legged sitting position. "Mikey. It's only you, I thought it was another nightmare." With that, he nears towards me, shoves his fingers on my stomach and wiggles them fiercely, causing me to erupt in laughter.
OH MY GOD!! It tickles so much!
"Gee, stop!" I say, as he moves his dancing hands all around my hips and waist and it just fucking tickles!
"Nah, Mikey! You know you like it!" Whoa, that sounded so sexy. But he's so good at tickling, and I just laugh harder, by this point I can't stop and it's actually starting to hurt my stomach a little.
By the time he backs off, probably deciding that that's enough of me laughing for the day -no, cut that. Any more and he'd send me laughing for the next week. And so I just lay there, limp, laughing more than I ever did. Take every time in my life that I've laughed, put it all together and it's probably not as much as I just laughed.
Gerard, waiting with Frank for 5 minutes now for me to stop, stares at me for my laugh to fade, which it just did, thank goodness.
"Uh, guys?" I say as the pair turn towards me. "I need to pee now." Gerard just bursts out laughing, Frank of course fakes a laugh. You can tell it's fake because he doesn't have that glow in his eyes that most people have when they laugh like that. I stand up, disappointed by him faking his emotions, but I guess I can't have any hard feelings toward him since he's trying so hard to keep me and GeeGee as friends even though it's probably killing him to keep his past locked inside. Well, when I talked about the shit that happened to me, it just made me dwell on it more and I became sadder than I was before. Franklin must have figured that out, too. But his past was longer and way more rough than mine, how can he get over it?
...I'll bet that Frankie hasn't thought of that, so he thinks that if he ignores it, it's gonna vanish from his mind. But it won't, it's too scarring to let go of. Poor fellow. What if I ask him about it, so that he can actually talk about it?
Something's telling me not to.