It's A Game, But Who's Keeping Score?

I leaned into Fernando, turning my head so I could whisper into his ear. I could hear him inhale sharply and feel him tense up. “I will never forget what happened in Austria,” I sneered. “And that is why I act the way I do.”

Before Fernando could get a word in, I stepped out of the car, slamming the door in the process which seemed to snap Fernando out of his trance. I could see the anger and hurt in his eyes, but they didn’t faze me this time. At least, not as much. I walked to the door, not once looking back, which was an accomplishment. The second I stepped into the house I hollered, “Thanks for leaving me stranded at Anfield guys! Way to look out for me!”

“Not my fault,” Xabi said, poking his head out from the kitchen. “Fernando wanted to drive you home, said he wanted to make things up to you.”

I instantly felt guilty, but when I saw the look on Pepe’s face that feeling dwindled. The look of uncertainty gave me a feeling that Pepe knew more than he was letting onto. I decided to confront him later; in the meanwhile I was going to see if Xabi was as good as a cook as he boasted.

An hour later, with my stomach certainly full, I decided that I needed to talk to Sergio and Iker about the upcoming game. They were bound to know about it already and if not, I thought it would be better coming from me. I pulled out my laptop and pulled up Skype and dialled a familiar. Sergio’s face popped up earning a smile from me.

“I’m guessing you forgave me for the Fernando comment?” Sergio asked with a huge smile.

“I could never ignore you forever Rammy. You are my best friend for a reason.”

“Hey!” a voice said from in the background and soon enough, Iker was in the picture as well. “I thought I was your best friend?”

“I can have more than one best friend....don’t forget that Rafa’s my best friend too!”

“But I’ve been her best friend the longest,” Sergio boasted, puffing out his chest.

I laughed at Sergio and Iker attempting to duke it out to see who my best friend was. As much fun as I was having, I knew my laughs were forced and the little voice in the back of my head was nagging me to tell them the real reason why I called.

“Guys, I have some news.” Sergio and Iker stopped bickering almost immediately and looked at me with wide eyes. “We’re playing each other in two weeks,” I said sombrely.

Sergio and Iker were quiet and they burst out laughing, they were rolling on the floor, clutching their sides. This definitely wasn’t the reaction I had expected from them.

“Guys! This is supposed to be serious,” I snapped.

Sergio wiped a tear from his eye before answering, “A game’s a game Bec. We’re friends before the game and we’ll be friends after the game.”

Iker nodded in agreement, “Anyways, it’s not like you’re going to score a goal on me. I know all your tendencies.”

That comment lit a fire in me, I said a quick goodbye. As I snapped my laptop shut, I thought out a plan to get myself ready for the game in two weeks, I was going to prove Iker wrong. I’m going to prove the world wrong.

As much as I wanted time to move in slow motion, the two weeks pasted in a blink of the eye and I found myself on a plane to Madrid; the city I had escaped not but a year ago. The realization brought back mixed emotions, which I was definitely not ready for. As I stared out the window, I couldn’t help but feel the tears stream down my face as I traced the faded star on my wrist.

“He’s not going to hurt you again.”

I feverishly wiped the tears away and I saw Fernando sitting beside me, resting a hand on my knee. “How can you be so sure? What happens if he comes to the game and somehow gets entry to the dressing room, and...and-“

“And what? He’s not going to be able to get back there and if he does, he’s going to have to get through me and the rest of the team,” Fernando said, giving me a weak smile.

“How can I be so sure that you’re going to be there for me? You promised me things before and you never delivered,” I said, referring to the events that took place in Austria.

“Because I learned from my mistakes this time, I’m not going to mess up this time. I promise.”

I shook my head, “Don’t promise me anything, because I know how you are.” I turned my gaze back to the window, signalling that Fernando should go back to his seat. His moods were so bipolar it was frustrating; I had to talk with Pepe soon.

The plane landed shortly after and the team made its way to the hotel. The game was in two days and we had a practice the next day. I was feeling better than ever and I couldn’t wait to show the team and the world what I was made of.

Game day came and we had a quick team meeting in the morning. The starting eleven was announced and I was not part of that eleven. I was beyond angry. Had Rafa not told me two weeks prior that I would be playing? Then I saw Rafa look at me and then nod his head in the direction of his temporary office. I quickly followed after him.

“Before you say anything, I’m going to see how this group works out and then around half time I’ll sub you in.”

I attempted to keep my cool, but it didn’t work. “I don’t know what I’m doing here?! You bring me in the middle of the season, but yet you don’t play me. And then when you say you’re going to play me, you don’t! Just tell me what you want me to do!”

Rafa sighed and surprisingly brought me in for a hug, “My dear, just be you. I don’t want the super woman front when you’re talking to me. I want the girl that dominated the Euro Cup. I want the ordinary girl who loves to play soccer.”

That simple gesture put me over the edge, and I was determined to fill my part for the team. No matter if I was a reserve or a starter, I was here for Liverpool and Liverpool alone.

As I stepped out on to the field at Santiago Bernabéu, I slowed my walk and realized that the stadium was even more beautiful, filled with thousands of fans. Then, the déjà vu hit:

I was, surprisingly the first to be changed, probably from my increasing nerves. I made my way out to the stadium, standing in awe of the vastness of the large stadium.

Sergio came up behind me, “I felt the same way when I first stepped on the field.”

I turned around, a little startled. “I forgot you played for Real Madrid, celebrity boy,” I replied with a grin.

Sergio could see the sorrow that filled my eyes, as I looked around the stadium, turning in a circle to get the total feeling. Until someone, accidentally bumped into me.

“This isn’t a playground, so stop acting like a kid,” Fernando said angrily.

I picked myself up, dusted off the imaginary dust. I stood tall as I walked towards Fernando, and with all the hatred I could muster I said, “Take your own advice, buddy.”

I shook the déjà vu off, I was here to play soccer, not to reminisce about the past, because that’s where it belonged; in the past. The game flew by and each side was desperately trying to get a goal with no avail. We were evenly matched and I was finding it hard to cheer for my side. Every time Sergio or Iker made a good save or block, I found myself cheering quietly. I hadn’t talked to them since our conversation two weeks before and it was killing me. Then, my shining moment came.

Rafa nodded in my direction and whispered to the 4th official that we were making a substitution. “Number 19 Ryan Babel Out for Number 7 Rebecca Cortez,” the announcer boomed.

The crowd roared and I could feel it in my very core. The crowd was electrifying and the looks on the other team when I stepped on the field was priceless. They thought Rafa was crazy; I was going to prove them wrong.

Chances were coming anywhere and everywhere, and still each side struggled to get a goal. I could see Fernando itching to get on the field and try his luck, he was supposed to be the first sub, but Rafa had entrusted that with me.

And finally I had my moment, we had a free kick just outside Real’s 18 yard box; I waited just at the 6 yard box, only to my amazement to find that Sergio was my check. This couldn’t be happening, why couldn’t someone else cover me? And then I felt someone tug at my jersey, Sergio wasn’t even fazed that I was his check, instead he was just playing the game. Just like I needed to do.

I took a couple steps back and waited anxiously for the kick, as soon as it was in the air; I tracked it into the box. I needed to time this perfectly and then I was in the air, leaving Sergio on the ground. I felt the ball connect with my forehead and I flick my head towards the goal, sending it into the back of the net. I landed and instantly sprinted for the bench; I had broken the nil-nil tie!

The team surrounded me with hugs and kisses; I felt one dangerously close to my lips and was surprised to see Fernando, blushing like a twelve year old boy. I waved it off as the adrenaline still coursed through my veins. I finally looked back to the Real net where both Sergio and Iker hung their head in defeat, the game wasn’t over for another 12 minutes, but they knew they had already lost the game.

Thankfully the game ended soon after, we were headed home with a victory and I was going home with my first goal in a Liverpool jersey. I couldn’t be happier. The interviews took longer than expected, but I was prepared for that. The press found it a lot easier as I spoke their language and didn’t need a translator. Then, I was back into the dressing room where the team was already filing out.

I peeled off my jersey and threw it off to the side; I would be taking that back to the house to be framed. I didn’t bother showering, as we would be getting back on the plane shortly. I gathered up my stuff and turned around to see somebody I didn’t expect to see.

“Kevin?” I croaked out. “What are you doing here?”

“Just wanted to see my favourite lady,” he said smugly, closing the distance between us trapping me in the corner. “You’ve done quite well for yourself,” he purred, twisting a strand of my hair around his finger.

I stood petrified; all of the nasty things he did to me came flashing before my eyes. I hurriedly searched the dressing room for anyone that stayed behind, but it was completely empty. I was all alone, with no Rafa or Sergio to save me this time.

Kevin picked up my wrist and traced the scar that he had put there himself. “See you still have my reminder.”

“It’s kinda hard to get rid of,” I spat.

“Or you don’t want to get rid of it,” he whispered in my ear, and then placing kisses along my neck. I could feel the bile starting to rise from my stomach, I had escaped before, and I could do it again. At least, I thought I could do it again. Kevin had my arms pinned to my sides; I was completely and utterly helpless. There was nothing I could do to save myself from him.

He started to go for my shirt, slowly unbuttoning it as if to tease me, I whimpered in response, which seemed to please him even more. “You know...I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you a lot.”

“Well, you’re going to miss her a lot more,” a voice growled from behind him.

I looked up with scared eyes to see Fernando standing right behind Kevin, the light forming an almost halo around his head. I whimpered again, I didn’t want anyone seeing me like this. Kevin dropped my arms and turned around to give Fernando lip, but he beat him to the punch. Literally.

Fernando’s fist connected with Kevin’s jaw, sending him to his knees. Before he could even retaliate, Fernando had reached over Kevin’s crumbled body, grabbed my hand and pulled me into his arms. “If you ever talk to her again, you wish you were never born,” he snarled.

He quickly ushered me into the hallway, where I broke down into tears. I didn’t care that I was crying in front of the man that had shattered my heart into pieces, at this moment Fernando was my saviour and that’s all that mattered.