Maybe Tomorrow
Tomorrow...
And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be okay,
Yeah, I try to believe you,
But I don't
I sat in my room in the dark. The rain poured outside from the night sky.
I could hear the noise of it crashing against my window as it mixed in with the noise of my parents shouting downstairs.
My brothers were sound asleep in their rooms.
I was sat cross legged on my bed in the dark.
When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...
They were arguing. Again.
It was always the same thing.
"You're just being fucking ridiculous."
"I'M the ridiculous one? Oh yeah, 'cause I'D rather spend more time with my band than be with my wife and kids."
"Look, Adie, this is my job!"
"Yeah, I understand that, but you're always working. It's always work this, work that. You hardly spend any time with me anymore. It's like I'm not here!"
"So what do you want me to do?! Quit?"
"No, I'm not saying that. I just think you should get some time off."
"I can't get any more time off. I've had all the time off I can get, Adie, you know that. Is that not enough?"
"No. It’s not."
"Well, I'm sorry. I can't just take time off when I feel like it! It's a music career, without it I'm nothing!"
"What about me?"
"What ABOUT you?"
"You're saying that you don't need me in your life, all you need is your music career!"
"What? No! I'm nothing without you too. There's no point of me living without you."
"Yeah, whatever. I've heard it all before."
"It's true!"
"Sure it is."
"You and the kids are my life! And I'd be no where without you!"
"Bullshit! That is complete bullshit, Billie Joe! You hardly see the kids! They don't know you 'cause you're never there for them!"
"Look, I know I wasn't around much when they were growing up, but-"
"But nothing! You were away so much and the kids were always asking why you were never home, they wanted to see you, Billie, they wanted a dad! But you were hardly here and it killed me to see them so miserable. They don't deserve this."
"God, this is so stupid, Adie!"
"I'm just telling you how I feel!"
"Well I'm sorry you feel like that, but I can't do anything."
I don't know how I'll feel,
Tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
Tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day
"You know, we said we would be together, Billie, because it made sense... Maybe this isn't making sense anymore."
"So what are you saying, that we should call it a day?"
I winced.
"... No, I'm not saying that."
"Well, I dunno, maybe it's a good idea."
"What? You're just going to end it, just like that?"
"Well we do nothing but argue, Adie!"
My heart sank. I felt hurt and shocked at the same time.
Was this really going to be over, all the years they had spent together, their 14 year marriage down the drain?
I couldn't believe this was happening.
"Fine... I'm going to bed, don't even think about following me."
"Adie, wait. Adie!"
The door next to this room slammed, making me jump. My brow creased as I closed me eyes.
"FUCK!" I heard the coffee table being kicked.
It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
Just don't
I lay awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Being 16 wasn't all that it seems.
I looked at the clock on my bedside table to see fluorescent green digital numbers that read 3.30am.
I sighed.
This was hopeless, how was I meant to sleep knowing that my parents' marriage could be over?
Gimme a little time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
Not today, today, today, today, today... oh
My father was sat on the edge of the couch in his boxers and a white tee with a pillow and duvet next to him. He pushed his fingers back through his jet black hair and sighed heavily.
"Dad?" I called quietly as I walked into the dark living room.
He raised his head. "Hey, sweetheart," he said and forced a smile, but through the dark, I could see his tear stained face. "What are you doing up? You've got school tomorrow."
"Can't sleep," I replied and sat on the couch.
"Yeah, me too," he said as he leaned back on the couch next to me.
There was a short pause filled with silence.
I don't know how I'll feel,
Tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
Tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day
"Where were you tonight, dad?" I asked.
"I'm sorry, sweetie," he sighed. "I got caught up at Mike's-"
"For 8 hours?" I asked calmly. "What were you doing?"
"Just... band stuff," he replied. "You know how it is, right?"
"Right, it's stressful." He had given me the same excuse so many times before.
He smiled.
I tried my best to return the smile, but it soon faded as I asked the next question. "What you said to mum earlier... about it being a good idea if you weren't together anymore, did you mean it?"
He just looked back at me as I stared at him. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it. After a short pause, he opened his mouth again. "I don't want to separate," he said softly.
"Well the only way for that not to happen is if you're round here more."
He sighed, "I know."
Another silent pause.
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready,
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow
He sat forward and turned his body to face me.
"Listen, sweetheart, you have no idea how sorry I am for not being there for you when you needed me," he said quietly. "And I know how much you must hate me for it, and-"
"I don't hate you," I said, cutting him off. "Yeah, you haven't been there and yeah, you've been an asshole... but, you're my dad and I don't hate you... okay?"
He smiled at me weakly, before opening his arms out to me.
I instantly fell into them, hugging my father tightly as he did the same to me.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered in my ear and kissed the top of my head.
And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be okay,
Yeah, I try to believe you…
“It’s going to be alright,” he said.
“Don’t say that, dad, you don’t know that,” I told him.
“Sweetie, everything will be fine,” he argued. “I’ll make sure of it.”
I looked down at my lap and sighed.
I didn’t feel like everything would be fine.
Not today, today, today, today, today...
I went back to bed after a short while.
Maybe I would feel differently tomorrow.
Tomorrow it may change
When you tell me that it'll be okay,
Yeah, I try to believe you,
But I don't
I sat in my room in the dark. The rain poured outside from the night sky.
I could hear the noise of it crashing against my window as it mixed in with the noise of my parents shouting downstairs.
My brothers were sound asleep in their rooms.
I was sat cross legged on my bed in the dark.
When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...
They were arguing. Again.
It was always the same thing.
"You're just being fucking ridiculous."
"I'M the ridiculous one? Oh yeah, 'cause I'D rather spend more time with my band than be with my wife and kids."
"Look, Adie, this is my job!"
"Yeah, I understand that, but you're always working. It's always work this, work that. You hardly spend any time with me anymore. It's like I'm not here!"
"So what do you want me to do?! Quit?"
"No, I'm not saying that. I just think you should get some time off."
"I can't get any more time off. I've had all the time off I can get, Adie, you know that. Is that not enough?"
"No. It’s not."
"Well, I'm sorry. I can't just take time off when I feel like it! It's a music career, without it I'm nothing!"
"What about me?"
"What ABOUT you?"
"You're saying that you don't need me in your life, all you need is your music career!"
"What? No! I'm nothing without you too. There's no point of me living without you."
"Yeah, whatever. I've heard it all before."
"It's true!"
"Sure it is."
"You and the kids are my life! And I'd be no where without you!"
"Bullshit! That is complete bullshit, Billie Joe! You hardly see the kids! They don't know you 'cause you're never there for them!"
"Look, I know I wasn't around much when they were growing up, but-"
"But nothing! You were away so much and the kids were always asking why you were never home, they wanted to see you, Billie, they wanted a dad! But you were hardly here and it killed me to see them so miserable. They don't deserve this."
"God, this is so stupid, Adie!"
"I'm just telling you how I feel!"
"Well I'm sorry you feel like that, but I can't do anything."
I don't know how I'll feel,
Tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
Tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day
"You know, we said we would be together, Billie, because it made sense... Maybe this isn't making sense anymore."
"So what are you saying, that we should call it a day?"
I winced.
"... No, I'm not saying that."
"Well, I dunno, maybe it's a good idea."
"What? You're just going to end it, just like that?"
"Well we do nothing but argue, Adie!"
My heart sank. I felt hurt and shocked at the same time.
Was this really going to be over, all the years they had spent together, their 14 year marriage down the drain?
I couldn't believe this was happening.
"Fine... I'm going to bed, don't even think about following me."
"Adie, wait. Adie!"
The door next to this room slammed, making me jump. My brow creased as I closed me eyes.
"FUCK!" I heard the coffee table being kicked.
It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
Just don't
I lay awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Being 16 wasn't all that it seems.
I looked at the clock on my bedside table to see fluorescent green digital numbers that read 3.30am.
I sighed.
This was hopeless, how was I meant to sleep knowing that my parents' marriage could be over?
Gimme a little time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
Not today, today, today, today, today... oh
My father was sat on the edge of the couch in his boxers and a white tee with a pillow and duvet next to him. He pushed his fingers back through his jet black hair and sighed heavily.
"Dad?" I called quietly as I walked into the dark living room.
He raised his head. "Hey, sweetheart," he said and forced a smile, but through the dark, I could see his tear stained face. "What are you doing up? You've got school tomorrow."
"Can't sleep," I replied and sat on the couch.
"Yeah, me too," he said as he leaned back on the couch next to me.
There was a short pause filled with silence.
I don't know how I'll feel,
Tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
Tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day
"Where were you tonight, dad?" I asked.
"I'm sorry, sweetie," he sighed. "I got caught up at Mike's-"
"For 8 hours?" I asked calmly. "What were you doing?"
"Just... band stuff," he replied. "You know how it is, right?"
"Right, it's stressful." He had given me the same excuse so many times before.
He smiled.
I tried my best to return the smile, but it soon faded as I asked the next question. "What you said to mum earlier... about it being a good idea if you weren't together anymore, did you mean it?"
He just looked back at me as I stared at him. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it. After a short pause, he opened his mouth again. "I don't want to separate," he said softly.
"Well the only way for that not to happen is if you're round here more."
He sighed, "I know."
Another silent pause.
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready,
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow
He sat forward and turned his body to face me.
"Listen, sweetheart, you have no idea how sorry I am for not being there for you when you needed me," he said quietly. "And I know how much you must hate me for it, and-"
"I don't hate you," I said, cutting him off. "Yeah, you haven't been there and yeah, you've been an asshole... but, you're my dad and I don't hate you... okay?"
He smiled at me weakly, before opening his arms out to me.
I instantly fell into them, hugging my father tightly as he did the same to me.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered in my ear and kissed the top of my head.
And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be okay,
Yeah, I try to believe you…
“It’s going to be alright,” he said.
“Don’t say that, dad, you don’t know that,” I told him.
“Sweetie, everything will be fine,” he argued. “I’ll make sure of it.”
I looked down at my lap and sighed.
I didn’t feel like everything would be fine.
Not today, today, today, today, today...
I went back to bed after a short while.
Maybe I would feel differently tomorrow.
Tomorrow it may change