Bang! Bang! Guns Go Bang!
Are You Ready For This?
That same week Ryan left another message on our machine. And It was for Emmy.
"Emily. I heard you got discharged. Listen I'm sorry I put you through all that... I'm sorry I said all those horrible things. And I wish that I had just listened to you. I know that you love Sonny and the guys more than life itself... but can you please spare some mercy for your brother? I miss you around the apartment Emmy... it's so lifeless. And even when you were lying to me, you were always the best person. And another thing. You were right about Mandy... she was sleeping with that guy in one thirteen-A and the guy next door. I love you, I miss you. Come see me sometime soon." and the end beep sounded.
Emily was in the doorway, tears in her eyes and her arms wrapped around her. I knew she still hated him for all that shit she put her through, and the shit he said. He made her miserable. It wasn't a wholesome hate, but one strong enough for a grudge. But without him, we would have never met... we would have never fallen in love... we would still be empty inside. I loved the guy like a brother, and she was his sister... by blood. And that wanted to make me cry my eyes out. She turned and walked back to the room we shared. I could hear her whisper to herself.
"I love Ryan, he's my brother. But I love Sonny, and I want to be with him until my bottle's empty... but Ryan doesn't approve... and I know he's my only immediate family I have left! He can't still hate me for lying to him for two whole months, and he has got to get over me and Sonny. Because I'm not breaking up with him! Not ever! And if he can't take it how it is, then he'll have to live without me! And that's that!" It tore me to hear this. She was so indecisive, despite her last statement. I knocked on the door lightly, and she came and opened it. She had red puffy eyes and tear trails were dried and cracking on her face.
"Hey baby... you can come in."
"You know I love you more than life itself right?" I blurted.
"Yes. I do Sonny."
"You know that without you I would be nothing but another empty shell walking the streets, without the warmth of your love to keep me going? That I would take a million bullets to keep you breathing? And that if I were to ever choose between you and life, you would be my choice? Did you know...that without you, I'm dead inside, ripped apart, torn to pieces, cut to ribbons, nothing... at all?" 'I can't believe I just said that....'
She stared at me for a minute... then two, then three. Tears poured down her face again. her arms hugged herself.
"I do now." she whispered. Emily sat down on the bed behind her, her shoulders shaking as she cried.
"I love you Sonny Moore. And don't you dare forget that!" She hugged me as I sat next to her. We laid down, and I rubbed circles in her back and tried my hand at that whispering things she says to me when I'm stressed and angry. She ended up falling asleep in my arms, and I prided myself on that. I reached behind myself clumsily, and picked up my cell phone, dialing a familiar number.
"Hello?" a man sniffled at the other end of the line.
"Ryan. This is Sonny."
"Oh hey. Is Emily available?"
"No, She's asleep. I want to talk to you."
"Okay man, shoot."
"Exactly why don't you want me going out with your sister?" Ryan was silent for a second, then he sighed and said,
"I don't know! I mean, your in a hardcore band, you've got a rather nasty temper... and I'm her older brother and I love her. She went through so much... and I'm just trying to protect her from getting hurt again."
"That's better than what I thought you were going to say." I said truthfully.
"What did you think I was going to say?"
"That you hate me and that I'm a worthless douche bag."
"Never man. You're like blood! I love you guys like you're my family that I never had!"
"I'll talk to you when Emmy's awake, okay man?" I said, smiling as I looked at her placid face.
"Yeah talk to you later." he sniffled.
"Bye."
"Bye." I flipped the phone shut and returned to laying down with my love. She nuzzled her face into my chest and took a deep breath.
"Thank you." she whispered and I smiled down at her warmly.
"Anything for you my love." and I fell asleep with her.
"Emily. I heard you got discharged. Listen I'm sorry I put you through all that... I'm sorry I said all those horrible things. And I wish that I had just listened to you. I know that you love Sonny and the guys more than life itself... but can you please spare some mercy for your brother? I miss you around the apartment Emmy... it's so lifeless. And even when you were lying to me, you were always the best person. And another thing. You were right about Mandy... she was sleeping with that guy in one thirteen-A and the guy next door. I love you, I miss you. Come see me sometime soon." and the end beep sounded.
Emily was in the doorway, tears in her eyes and her arms wrapped around her. I knew she still hated him for all that shit she put her through, and the shit he said. He made her miserable. It wasn't a wholesome hate, but one strong enough for a grudge. But without him, we would have never met... we would have never fallen in love... we would still be empty inside. I loved the guy like a brother, and she was his sister... by blood. And that wanted to make me cry my eyes out. She turned and walked back to the room we shared. I could hear her whisper to herself.
"I love Ryan, he's my brother. But I love Sonny, and I want to be with him until my bottle's empty... but Ryan doesn't approve... and I know he's my only immediate family I have left! He can't still hate me for lying to him for two whole months, and he has got to get over me and Sonny. Because I'm not breaking up with him! Not ever! And if he can't take it how it is, then he'll have to live without me! And that's that!" It tore me to hear this. She was so indecisive, despite her last statement. I knocked on the door lightly, and she came and opened it. She had red puffy eyes and tear trails were dried and cracking on her face.
"Hey baby... you can come in."
"You know I love you more than life itself right?" I blurted.
"Yes. I do Sonny."
"You know that without you I would be nothing but another empty shell walking the streets, without the warmth of your love to keep me going? That I would take a million bullets to keep you breathing? And that if I were to ever choose between you and life, you would be my choice? Did you know...that without you, I'm dead inside, ripped apart, torn to pieces, cut to ribbons, nothing... at all?" 'I can't believe I just said that....'
She stared at me for a minute... then two, then three. Tears poured down her face again. her arms hugged herself.
"I do now." she whispered. Emily sat down on the bed behind her, her shoulders shaking as she cried.
"I love you Sonny Moore. And don't you dare forget that!" She hugged me as I sat next to her. We laid down, and I rubbed circles in her back and tried my hand at that whispering things she says to me when I'm stressed and angry. She ended up falling asleep in my arms, and I prided myself on that. I reached behind myself clumsily, and picked up my cell phone, dialing a familiar number.
"Hello?" a man sniffled at the other end of the line.
"Ryan. This is Sonny."
"Oh hey. Is Emily available?"
"No, She's asleep. I want to talk to you."
"Okay man, shoot."
"Exactly why don't you want me going out with your sister?" Ryan was silent for a second, then he sighed and said,
"I don't know! I mean, your in a hardcore band, you've got a rather nasty temper... and I'm her older brother and I love her. She went through so much... and I'm just trying to protect her from getting hurt again."
"That's better than what I thought you were going to say." I said truthfully.
"What did you think I was going to say?"
"That you hate me and that I'm a worthless douche bag."
"Never man. You're like blood! I love you guys like you're my family that I never had!"
"I'll talk to you when Emmy's awake, okay man?" I said, smiling as I looked at her placid face.
"Yeah talk to you later." he sniffled.
"Bye."
"Bye." I flipped the phone shut and returned to laying down with my love. She nuzzled her face into my chest and took a deep breath.
"Thank you." she whispered and I smiled down at her warmly.
"Anything for you my love." and I fell asleep with her.