Bang! Bang! Guns Go Bang!

Three minutes with her on the curb put her into a sleep, and I'll say it now, I never felt so whole. For two years... with the bulimia and tour going on at the same time... everything was horrible and awesome at the same time. The way the crowd reacts with us on stage and playing out hearts out, its just like a dream come true. But the silent and painful battles I've fought behind the scenes... break my heart.

And now, all of it seems so much better, ten fold. I can hear her heart beat once more, I can see her beautiful face, I can have her in my arms, and feel as if I were invincible again. I willingly admit, she's everything to me. Even when we were a new couple, I knew she gave me something no one else in the world could replace. The security she gives me... the strength and courage to fight my vices, I would throw the world away to feel like this for eternity.

I was lying next to her in our cot in the back of the bus, and her slow, calm breathing was lulling me to sleep more and more each minute. I couldn't hear the guys talking in the lobby, can't hear the road's flaws beneath the wheels... it was all silent, and we were on our way to our next destination... where ever that was, I couldn't care less.

Derek

It was strange to see the guys all quiet and at ease like this. It may be it's just that I'm the quiet one, and am used to seeing them wrestle around or laughing at silly comments on our MySpace page... but this is really, really awkward. I shifted uneasily in my seat on the sofa, and Travis started fiddling with his fingers. Matt was sitting on the floor and staring into space... meaning he was deep in thought. Once Emily came back, everyone was affected immediately. Travis got a bit softer and Confucius-like again, like it was when we were a beginning band, Matt wasn't being so loud and weird since she got on the bus, but that's bound to change once we all adjust. But me... I've actually felt more alive.

I dunno, but it's the way she looks that makes me feel happier than normal, like I can do anything without the knowledge of the world's flaws and my own that I can move freely again; no chains to pull me down. I was really surprised that I really thought that... because I have a bit of a habit of believing all that I hear without second thought... and yeah, I'll keep that flaw to myself. But Emmy already knows about it... I told her a long time ago.

"Alright... this is getting stupid. Why are you two silent like this?!" I said, but a normal tone sounded like a shout.

Travis looked at me like I was insane, and Matt continued to stare at the space before his eyes. "We're freaked out I guess. This is all too ironic, can't you see? Emily left us right? Well... we're on our second album's tour, and she just happens to be in the same city, at the right place, at the right time?

"In a karmic universe, we must have done something extremely right, or extremely wrong to get her back like this. I see that... Sonny's already changing. Matt's gonna be the same no doubt, because you know how he acts around women...."

"Hey! Just because I'm thinking doesn't mean I'm deaf!"

"I did that on purpose, but I meant what I said. It's like we've all got a piece of our hearts back, and it feels...."

"Astounding." Matt and I finished for him. I laughed a little, and Travis smiled.

"Alright now, enough touchy feely, I want to watch something get torn to shreds so bad...."

"The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre?"

"Fuck yes!" Matt popped in the movie, and plopped himself on the floor before the TV screen.

Emily

I let my eyes open themselves, and I was so scared that it had all been a dream, I almost gasped when I saw Sonny Moore's face. At first, I thought, 'Am I being Punk'd? Because this isn't fucking funny', but this was too good to be false... or was it too good to be true? I reached up, and rested my hand on his cheek, brushing my thumb against the smooth skin under his eye. I traced over every one of his features until I was one hundred percent sure he was no hallucination. The last thing I explored though, was his lips. So perfectly sculpted... I swear he was handcrafted by angels, only tampered with by the Devil's blackest deeds. I felt the soft pair of lips stretch into a smile as two beautiful chocolate brown eyes opened to face me.

"Hey gorgeous...."

He smiled at me, closing his eyes once more, as if to make sure he wasn't dreaming as well. I felt his hand hold mine, and I let his fingers slip between mine. Like old Legos... we just won't separate... even if for only a second. We'll always be stuck to the other's side.

"I thought I saw an angel... and I was right." he whispered to me, smiling. I couldn't help it, that was so cheesy it was great.

"You have no idea." I said back. I snuggled closer to him, and was so happy I could do it again. His heart was beating a little faster than usual, and I could have sworn that I heard it literally skip a beat.

"Sonny?"

"Yes dear?"

"Why is it that when I get close to you like this... your heart beats faster?" I asked, listening to it race.

"Because I love you. Didn't you know that?"

"Once... and I do again." I felt his arms wrap around me, who was curled into a ball basically against him. I had sorely missed what it felt like to be held like I actually meant something to someone. But do I? I can't get into his head... and I can't read his emotions like an objective piece of literature... he's a half opened book. Well, not even half opened. He is to me, a mysterious... unclear and cleverly constructed piece of music that can be anything it chooses to be. Slow and calm, eerie and suspenseful, or fast and unpredictable. But it's a tune I'd listen to for the rest of my time on this plagued planet.

"What you thinking about?" he asked me.

"You."

"Is it good?"

"Yes...." I giggled.

"Why does it feel like I've said that before?"

"I think it was around ten o' clock at night... and you were sneaking up on me from behind a tree...."

"Really? I can't remember... it's been a while." Yeah... too long for you and me both, love.

"Sonny-Bunny? Have you... have you heard from Ryan lately?"

The question seemed to catch him off guard. I doubt Ryan had spoken to him. He's known in our family for his outstanding ability to hold a grudge for years at a time. He once held one against our uncle in Nevada for stealing his cell phone and accidentally dropping it in the toilet at a bar... it's been five years since then, and every family reunion has been uncomfortable because he has to bring it up.

"No. I've emailed him, and he won't respond. He even blocked our MySpaces."

"Oh, well I have to talk to him. Last time I did, Mark was following me around and found me at a pay phone... and that was two months ago." he sighed.

"You'll never have to deal with him again baby girl. Not on my life."

"Don't... you ever say something like that again. I will not have you bet your life for me, you hear me Sonny."

"Yes, Emily, but I still will. I cannot have you bet you life on me, but you still will, correct?" You're so smart... I nodded, thinking with a smile on my face. A knock on the wall, and short silence later, Matt, Travis and Derek were in the room.

"Hey you two! What's been going on in here?"

"Nothing you have in mind Matt, but we've been talking."

"Like you lovers do." Derek said smiling at me in the sweetest brotherly way.

"Like we lovers do." I agreed.

"We're watching the Chainsaw Massacre... wanna join us? We've watched it like three times already, but we don't care. It's fucking sweet!" I said yes, Sonny said yes, the guys acted like idiots, we laughed. And inside. I was having a party of my own.