Bang! Bang! Guns Go Bang!

'Ugh... do I really have to wake up today? Yesterday was so nice-- wait, what the...?' I thought groggily, sitting up, pressing the blankets to my bare chest and rubbing my eyes open. I saw a tray, and on it, was a plate. With food... breakfast food. And a cup... of coffee... and a flower... my favorite flower. I stared stupidly at the tray as I searched for my shirt with my free hand... it was on the floor, and that made me feel even more stupid.

"Bacon, eggs, toast, and Morning Glories... what's this all about?" I asked the empty room. I looked around, and then realized that there as a note under my plate. Feeling, yet again, stupid.

"For being the perfect girl you are, a semi-perfect breakfast to start your day! Love, Sonny," I read aloud, smiling. I ate as much as I could and set the tray aside. I really didn't know he could cook so well! I got up, stretched out my tired muscles and put on a pair of less-revealing shorts. Once I was out in the living room, which was empty, I was attacked from behind. Taken completely by surprise, I jumped.

"Sonny! My God you scared me senseless!" I said, squeaking slightly.

"Did you enjoy your breakfast?"

"Yes, Yes I did, as a matter of fact. It was delicious, thank you," I said to him, turning around in his arms and kissing him lightly on the nose. It was still a bit purple.

"You're very welcome, and in addition to all that yummy-deliciousness, I've arranged a whole entire day to ourselves. What ever you want to do, we'll do it," he said. I smiled modestly,

"You know that I would feel so guilty. As long as I've got you, I'm perfectly fine."

"Yeah, I know that... but we never get to have much fun anymore! Outside of our room of course, but that's different!" He laughed, "I want to do something special for you, and that is whatever you want to do. Today's our day off together, and we'd better enjoy it, because Mike gets out of the hospital tomorrow, and that means touring again," he said. I nodded in agreement.

"Alright fine, we'll take turns then. You first, then me... and so on, and so forth."

"Deal," and he kissed me to seal it. The first thing we had to do was get dressed, duh. Then after that, we were off. We stopped by his favorite garden path, first. The flower's were beautiful in the perfect weather, the breeze was so nice... and it was just an all around nice place to walk and talk with someone close. It was also very romantic.

Next, it was my turn, and we went to get ice cream at my favorite place in town. The sweet treat was fun as well, because Sonny kept getting it on his nose, and I had to get it off! Laughs and stares were only customary for our childish behavior. But didn't care until a mother came up to us and asked us to settle down for 'the sake of the children's ears'. It's not like we're swearing or talking dirty, so we just giggled at each other making fools of our selves in public.

Several hours, or minutes as though it seemed, we were walking back from the movies. We had seen a romantic comedy, and laughed obnoxiously through almost all of it. The guy behind us was getting really pissed off and kept kicking our seats. He wasn't laughing, but that's his problem, not ours.

We were walking to the car leisurely, holding hands and sipping at soda. I looked up at Sonny, the setting sun making him seem darker-skined... like a long, tan and handsome Casanova-man from the big Hollywood films. I laughed at this and he just looked at me like I was crazy.

"And you know you love it!" I said, clenching my eyes shut and wrinkling my nose while smiling. He laughed at me and let go of my hand to put his arm around my waist, and hand in my back pocket. I did the same to him, and finally got to the car... but he was moving his fingers in my pockets... which tickled a little bit.

"I can't believe your butt's ticklish!"

"I can't believe that my hand actually got into your pocket! Can you breathe okay in those pants?" I joked... but I was serious too! 'Damn, those pants are t-i-g-h-t!'

"Well, I had fun today, did you?" he asked, turning over the engine.

"I did. It was nice to have a whole day with you... we should do this more often," Sonny nodded his head and backed out. I can't believe that we're going to be touring tomorrow. And that means packing, and loading, and cleaning for me. And I have to listen to Matt whine because he was in the middle of playing World of Warcraft... and didn't completely slay his monster... yadda yadda yadda; and that's exactly what I expect, too. But this time, no abuse, no scars, no pain... just avoiding cameras and having fun... and laundry. Lots and lots of laundry. I'm just glad I can find a humerus tid-bit every now and then, it makes life very easy to bear through.

I did all that I needed to do... and couldn't feel anymore reluctant to. I had this undeniable feeling of fear, just sitting on my shoulders, mocking me. I don't want to leave Ryan behind again. What if something happens to him, or the seven of us on tour?

'I can't shake this foreboding feeling... why? Why does this have to ruin the fun day I've had today? I can't believe that this is really what happens to me each time that something good occurs! Ugh!'

"Are you okay baby, you seem tense," Sonny asked me from across our room.

I looked over my shoulder at him briefly, looking back at my bag quickly, "I'm fine. I'm just... distracted." I said, I could feel him walk up behind me.

"What's wrong? Is it something you can tell me?" he said, turning me around.

"It's nothing. Really, I'm just a little off... and I don't want to ruin the day's mood for you..." he shook his head.

"If it was nothing, then we wouldn't be having this conversation now would we? You can tell me anything. Please, tell me."

"I'm scared of leaving. I know I told you that I was scared to come back, but things have changed and I'm scared something might happen to Ryan while I'm gone... or something will happen to all of us while we're on the road... I'm just a magnet for trouble and I don't want to cause anyone any harm... I--" he stopped me mid-sentence. I looked at him for answers like I was on trial.

"What all's happened, I would like to believe, was all a test to see whether we were supposed to stay together. A test of our endurance for each other. Nothing's gonna happen to Ryan, nothing's going to happen to you, or me, or the band. We're all going to be just fine. You have your own reasons to feel this way, but I promise you, nothing's going to happen to anyone. Okay? Now come on, lets go throw this stuff in the car," he said, hugging me. It was nice to see that we were on the same level on the situations of the past month... somewhat.

Once we were done, I was the first one in bed. Sonny said that he had to talk to the guys about something, and told me to get to bed without him. I shrugged it off. Closing the door, I was already half asleep. As soon as my head hit my pillow, I was out like a light.

Sonny

All four of us were in our places on the living room furniture. Travis looked at me and was clearly serious, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Positive."

"Do you have it?"

"Yep."

"You're really sure you want to do this? This is a huge step, Ace. Really huge."

"I'm totally sure!" I defended. I wanted to make it clear that this is what I wanted.

Matt and Derek exchanged looks, "I'm ready for this, and I really think it would be best for the both of us." They all exchanged looks with each other.

"Just tell me that I'm doing the right thing, guys. I don't want to mess up anymore," I plead. I examined the faces in the room, and each one was unfairly hard to read.

"I think you are. You both deserve it more than anyone I know," Derek breathed. I looked over to Matt,

"I agree, you guys have what it takes in my opinion." Travis looked at me like Simon Cowell on American Idol, patronizingly and ready to let loose the inevitable.

"I approve. But my word is just as valuable as Matt's and Derek's. It's her brother you have to win over." 'Shit... I knew he was going to say that. But he's right.'

"You think he's awake?" Travis nodded. I pulled out my phone and dialed, and waited. One ring... two rings... three rings...

"Hello?"

"Ryan! Hey, it's Sonny."

"Oh, hey! What's up, man?"

"Nothing... I just have a question for you."

"Shoot." 'Okay... here I go...!'

"Can I ask Em--"

"Yes," he said, cutting my question short. I took the phone from my ear and gave it a funny look.

"What?"

"Yes. I said yes. You may. I know that she would want this. And I want her to be nothing but happy." I smiled, feeling warm inside.

"Thank you Ryan! Thank you so much! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"I'll talk to you later Ace, okay?"

"Fine by me! I love you man! Thank you!" I hung up the phone and held down a 'whoop' of happiness.

"I'm guessing it was a yes?" Derek said questioningly. I nodded, smiling; too happy for words.

"So when're you gonna do it?"

"Tomorrow... I'm gonna do it tomorrow." I said, anticipating the sunrise even as I lay down next to the beautiful girl that everything was for.