Dazed and Abused

“Oh my fucking son of a bitch!” I screamed as my stupid, retarded car finally squeezed its last breath as the little red needle hit empty. Should I be surprised? No but I was pissed I forgot to fill the fucker up two days ago when I knew it needed. But shit, guess where the yellow small bitch had to die? Right by Jacob Black’s house.

It was 6:30 in the morning, I assume he was awake, probably getting ready for school. I was leaning on walking the rest of the way there, it would be a long walk, I’d be late, but I didn’t want to face him after…my explosion. I had no choice though and I was going to accept him walking towards my car, and with the window down I could smell his fear. I did that to people.

“You need help?”

“Actually…I do.” I admitted, sighing deeply as I looked down with my car key in my hand, my big key chain with two pictures of my favorite anime character inside the plastic frame. Hiei was giving me a dirty look, and his red eyes were giving me a look of shame. I felt it stab my heart with guilt. Fuck you Jacob Black, screw you Hiei.

Jacob leaned into my car, looking inside to see as well I had no gas. I could see how tense the muscles were in his neck, he was afraid of me.

“Your lucky then.” Then he was halfway across his yard before disappearing into his little homemade garage, coming back with a red plastic bottle thing with gas in it. Was I surprised he had one handy? Shit, no, he’s Jacob Black for God sakes.

He filled my tank enough to get me to school, back, and then the nearest gas station. As he went to leave me alone, and before I turned the engine back on, I yelled out the window, “Hey, fucker I’m taking you to school. So get your ass back out here!”

Jacob didn’t look back to respond or acknowledge me, and I could see it was taking him effort, I watched his every move. He disappeared once again into the garage, but this time never came out. I waited at least ten minutes before I decided to drive off, so I pushed the peddle to the metal, flipping his house off as I past.

**

Jacob let her leave, and it was taking all his strength to hold himself back from running after her. Carlisle told him it was for her own safety that he restrained speaking as much as a hello to her for the next several weeks. He didn’t want to listen to the vampire doctor, as much as he hated the smell and just the sheer thought of not speaking to the girl he’d hurt so much. But hearing the words “for her safety” was enough to keep him at bay.

He saw her flip the bird as she left, her obscene personality finding its way out again. It was just like her, and he expected just as much that she would, he even hoped. It meant she was better, some what, that she was less sad but more the angry human being he always knew her to be. Even as children she was rather a hot-headed human being, always a very angry kid.

She was what balanced out the testosterone levels in his group of friends, she was what made it all the worth while to go cliff jumping and to hike and get lost. She’s what made campfire’s fun with her way of making up stories and telling them on the spot, scaring everyone to shaking the skin and meat off their bones. But all the same she cared for everything in the world, and loved when loved and hated when hated, but respected everybody.

It made Jacob miss her more then he had when she suddenly disappeared, never showing up at school the following Monday he confessed he was in love with Bella, and Jacob was to engrossed in all the vampire/werewolf jazz to try and visit and to fix what he’d ruined. But he had to tell her the truth, that even though he probably would have never imprinted Bella he loved the girl. Though he never expected to imprint Elaine, but it didn’t surprise anybody, this was the first time they’d met since he was last truly human.

**

“I’m happy he imprinted, finally. But Elaine…” Bella ran her hand through her messy curls as she paced around her room.

“What’s wrong with Elaine?” Edward asked curiously, finding this whole situation a bit off.

“Elaine Morrow was one of his best friends, I met her a couple of times when her and Jacob were kind of…close, and then he told her he loved me and…well he never saw her afterwards but Quil said she was at a mental behavior institute for quite a while before taking up homeschooling and going to counseling.” Bella explained.

“Just because of that?”

“Well…I also heard her mother committed suicide, plus she was continuously bullied because her and her mother were both witches.” She said, sitting down at her desk finally, the room getting hot as she worked up her blood flow.

“What Jacob must have said probably made her break.”

“I know that’s what happened, Jacob told me that he suspected as much, because he was suppose to be there for her…and he wasn’t.”

**

“Hey Elaine, are you feeling any better?” Embry asked as he sat beside me in the empty courtyard, La Push looking as grim as it had my first day back here in high school. Fog was surrounding us, smelling and tasting like the salty sea shore, no doubt just miles from us.

“Yeah.” Only because I spent two nights trying to cleanse my soul, with Jacob ruining that mood once again.

“Jacob feels bad.”

“Fo shizzle my nizzle, right? Why would he feel bad? He got what he wanted.”

“Not exactly, Bella was in love with somebody else.” Embry corrected me, his thumbs twirling around the other nervously. He didn’t want to say anything about Bella it seemed, that's okay, I didn’t feel up to speaking about her either.

“Wow, a vicious circle. It doesn’t matter anymore though, if I’m here now then I can suffer through the rest of the year without him.” I told him, breathing in harshly, my limbs shaking as the cold nibbled at my skin.

“But Jacob won’t be able to do that…”

“Why not?”

“Look, tonight I want you to come to a little bonfire we’re having by the beach. Billy heard you were back and wants to talk to you about something, but he wants to explain some stuff to some new character’s to our group of friends…then you’ll understand.” Embry stood just as the bell rang loudly, echoing off the mountain side behind us. I watched him walk away as I swallowed the last bite to my raspberry butter toasted sandwich. Before he entered the building he turned around and spoke, “I’ll be picking you up at eight.”

Well shit, I obviously had no choice.