Life on Banana Street
Teh Wedding
I walked out of the door to my car. “Addie, don’t be like that.”
“Like what? I didn’t just kill a person!”
“Shh…Come on, I still love you. And you said you didn’t care if I hurt him.”
“Yeah. You didn’t hurt him.”
“Just please.” He ran down the steps and grabbed my waist. “Don’t leave me. I didn’t mean to kill him.” I looked him in the eyes.
“Ok, but you’re on probation.”
“It’s better to be on probation than to lose you.” I rested my head on his chest and we got in the car and left.
-A Few Months Later-
“Billie. This doesn’t look right.”
“What doesn’t look right? You look great.” I stared the Russell stare. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was wearing my mom’s old wedding dress. And my big belly.
“My mom musta been pregnant when she got married too. Because this seems to fit me very well.”
“How many times do I have to say it? You look beautiful. And it’s going to be a small wedding, so not a lot of people will notice.”
“Yeah right. I’ll be in magazines everywhere. The New Mrs. Armstrong Pregnant. Exclusive Wedding Photos Never Seen Before.” I smiled a gay smile that looked like I was advertising something. He laughed shyly.
“You look beautiful. You’re perfect.”
“Yeah in a Mother’s Weekly magazine. Somebody throw Shamoo back in the ocean! Damn!”
“You do not look like Shamoo.” He grabbed my shoulders and kissed me.
“Now get going to Mitzi’s house. I can’t see you a day before the wedding.” I packed everything I would need in the next 48 hours. Off to Mitzi’s house.
“Ok hi Addie! I’m so proud of you!”
“For what? Getting pregnant?”
“No silly. For finding the right man for you.”
“Well he definitely is the right guy. I mean after what I did to get him back.”
“Yeah I read it in the paper.”
“It was in the paper?”
“Everything’s in the paper Addie.”
“Yeah I guess so.”
-The Wedding Day-
“Addie! Wake up you’re late!”
“I know I’m late, I’ve been late for 7 months.”
“Not that late! The wedding starts in 30 minutes!”
“30 minutes? How the hell do I have 30 minutes to do everything.”
“I’m sorry don’t hate me. I forgot to set the alarm!”
“Shit. Now I’m going to look ever more trashier.” A smile approached her face. “What?”
“I was just joking. You really have 3 hours.”
“Are you fucking serious?” She nodded.
“I outta kill you. But I don’t want to go to jail on my wedding day.”
“Just go get ready.”
-At the Alter-
Me and my brother were standing at the aisle waiting to come down. The music played. He let me go and I followed the flower girl and the ring barer. I was up there finally and we turned to each other and held hands. “Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to join the lives of Billie Joe Armstrong and Adeline Brittany Hersh…” I wasn’t really listening because I never do. “These former child lovers will be bonded today in holy matrimony…” Blah. Blah. Blah. “If anyone here has a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Someone burst into the door.
“Wait! Wait! Adeline you can’t marry him!” There were gasps throughout the crowd. The guy ran up here and talked to me. “You can’t marry him.”
“Look, lawyer. He signed the papers, what’s the problem?”
“Yes he did sign them. You didn’t.” More gasps.
“Addie, I thought you took care of this,” Billie said through his teeth.
“I thought I did. You can’t blame me for a small mistake.” I made an announcement to the audience. “Does anyone have a pen?” Mitzi threw a pen at me. “Thanks.” I signed on the line. “Here.” He nodded and left the church. Man, Billie’s in a church. “Ok, we can continue.”
“Do you Billie Joe take Adeline to be your lawfully wedded wife? In sickness and in health? Till death do you part?”
“You know I do.”
“And do you Adeline, take Billie Joe to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health? Till death do you part?” I felt like I was going to pass out. I stumbled around a bit, but good thing Billie was holding on to me. There were whispers about how I didn’t want to get married. Suddenly, everything went black but right before, I said, “I do.”
“Addie?” I heard a slow motion voice. “Addie? Are you awake?” I opened my eyes slowly and Billie was looking at me.
“I am now.”
“Sorry. Just couldn’t take another hour of you sleeping.”
“Hour? How long was I asleep?”
“Well the wedding was two days ago.”
“Are you serious?” He nodded.
“Are we married or what?”
“Well unfortunately no. We never did kiss or put the rings on.”
“Well let’s do it now.”
“Are you sure? Because you just had a kid.”
“Like what? I didn’t just kill a person!”
“Shh…Come on, I still love you. And you said you didn’t care if I hurt him.”
“Yeah. You didn’t hurt him.”
“Just please.” He ran down the steps and grabbed my waist. “Don’t leave me. I didn’t mean to kill him.” I looked him in the eyes.
“Ok, but you’re on probation.”
“It’s better to be on probation than to lose you.” I rested my head on his chest and we got in the car and left.
-A Few Months Later-
“Billie. This doesn’t look right.”
“What doesn’t look right? You look great.” I stared the Russell stare. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was wearing my mom’s old wedding dress. And my big belly.
“My mom musta been pregnant when she got married too. Because this seems to fit me very well.”
“How many times do I have to say it? You look beautiful. And it’s going to be a small wedding, so not a lot of people will notice.”
“Yeah right. I’ll be in magazines everywhere. The New Mrs. Armstrong Pregnant. Exclusive Wedding Photos Never Seen Before.” I smiled a gay smile that looked like I was advertising something. He laughed shyly.
“You look beautiful. You’re perfect.”
“Yeah in a Mother’s Weekly magazine. Somebody throw Shamoo back in the ocean! Damn!”
“You do not look like Shamoo.” He grabbed my shoulders and kissed me.
“Now get going to Mitzi’s house. I can’t see you a day before the wedding.” I packed everything I would need in the next 48 hours. Off to Mitzi’s house.
“Ok hi Addie! I’m so proud of you!”
“For what? Getting pregnant?”
“No silly. For finding the right man for you.”
“Well he definitely is the right guy. I mean after what I did to get him back.”
“Yeah I read it in the paper.”
“It was in the paper?”
“Everything’s in the paper Addie.”
“Yeah I guess so.”
-The Wedding Day-
“Addie! Wake up you’re late!”
“I know I’m late, I’ve been late for 7 months.”
“Not that late! The wedding starts in 30 minutes!”
“30 minutes? How the hell do I have 30 minutes to do everything.”
“I’m sorry don’t hate me. I forgot to set the alarm!”
“Shit. Now I’m going to look ever more trashier.” A smile approached her face. “What?”
“I was just joking. You really have 3 hours.”
“Are you fucking serious?” She nodded.
“I outta kill you. But I don’t want to go to jail on my wedding day.”
“Just go get ready.”
-At the Alter-
Me and my brother were standing at the aisle waiting to come down. The music played. He let me go and I followed the flower girl and the ring barer. I was up there finally and we turned to each other and held hands. “Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to join the lives of Billie Joe Armstrong and Adeline Brittany Hersh…” I wasn’t really listening because I never do. “These former child lovers will be bonded today in holy matrimony…” Blah. Blah. Blah. “If anyone here has a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Someone burst into the door.
“Wait! Wait! Adeline you can’t marry him!” There were gasps throughout the crowd. The guy ran up here and talked to me. “You can’t marry him.”
“Look, lawyer. He signed the papers, what’s the problem?”
“Yes he did sign them. You didn’t.” More gasps.
“Addie, I thought you took care of this,” Billie said through his teeth.
“I thought I did. You can’t blame me for a small mistake.” I made an announcement to the audience. “Does anyone have a pen?” Mitzi threw a pen at me. “Thanks.” I signed on the line. “Here.” He nodded and left the church. Man, Billie’s in a church. “Ok, we can continue.”
“Do you Billie Joe take Adeline to be your lawfully wedded wife? In sickness and in health? Till death do you part?”
“You know I do.”
“And do you Adeline, take Billie Joe to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health? Till death do you part?” I felt like I was going to pass out. I stumbled around a bit, but good thing Billie was holding on to me. There were whispers about how I didn’t want to get married. Suddenly, everything went black but right before, I said, “I do.”
“Addie?” I heard a slow motion voice. “Addie? Are you awake?” I opened my eyes slowly and Billie was looking at me.
“I am now.”
“Sorry. Just couldn’t take another hour of you sleeping.”
“Hour? How long was I asleep?”
“Well the wedding was two days ago.”
“Are you serious?” He nodded.
“Are we married or what?”
“Well unfortunately no. We never did kiss or put the rings on.”
“Well let’s do it now.”
“Are you sure? Because you just had a kid.”