Life on Banana Street

“So Adeline, tell me everything. I want to know everything that happened since I was gone.” What has she done with my mother? She was…nice…to me. She pulled my arm which caused me to fall on the couch.

“Well, mom, you probably won’t believe it, but I got married.”

“Tre? Where’s Tre? I want to see his smiling face.”

“No, mom. I didn’t marry Tre.” She stared at me. The stare that used to signal when she was going to beat.

“You married Billie? Billie?”

“Yes mom. He is the one for me.”

“I can’t believe this. How could you marry that…that bisexual freak?!” Yep Billie heard that and he came downstairs. “You! You stay away from my daughter you bastard!” She yelled at him.

“Mrs. Hersh, I’m not here to cause any harm. I’m just getting breakfast.”

“Adeline! You’re letting that pig eat all your food? That you worked hard for?”

“Excuse me?” Billie said over the bar.

“You stay out of this you man lover!”

“You don’t come into my house and start calling me names and making my WIFE feel like shit!”

“Your house? Your house? Who do you think still owns this place?” I had no damn idea where Matt was. Probably slitting his wrists. Oh well.

“Not you! You lost the deed to your son and he gave it to us!” She went over and slapped Billie.

“Mom stop!”

“Don’t tell me what to do Adeline! He only wants you to fuck you!”

“That is so not true! You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about!”

“Adeline! You never talk to me that way! You go get in the car! I’m taking you back to Matt’s.”

“No Mom. You can’t make me do anything anymore. I’m taking a stand. I’m not some scared little girl anymore. Get out of our house now. You have no right to come here and call my HUSBAND names. Or to slap him. Now get out before I call the cops for trespassing.” She looked hurt. Like she did when I told her I hated her. “I hate you mom. I always have and always will.” I was crying because I never let out this much feeling before. I felt so good because finally she got what was coming for her.

“Fine Adeline. If that’s the way you really feel about me, I guess I’ll be on my way.”

“And don’t pull that guilt shit on me either.” She walked out the door and Matt followed from the stairwell. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Yeah right like I was going to sit there during all that.”

“Well you could have helped.” They left and I didn’t see Billie anywhere. I turned into the kitchen and saw him sitting on the floor crying. “Billie, are you ok?”

“No, Addie. I’ve never felt more hurt. I probably feel more hurt than your mom.”

“What’s the matter?”

“What’s the matter? What’s the matter?! You just witnessed all of that shit and you ask me what’s the matter? Do you know how hurtful it is to be called a freak by your spouse’s mother? I don’t think so.”

“Billie, don’t try to blame this on me.” I went and sat by him. “I did everything I could.”

“I’m not blaming it on you,” he looked away.

“What are you saying?”

“I was called all of those hurtful things and I didn’t do anything about it. I just stayed in here and cried.”

“Billie, you did more than I would have expected any other man to do.” I put my hair behind my ears.

“Just tell me something.”

“Anything,” I said.

“Did you marry me just to piss your mom off?”

“Billie! How could you ever ask a question like that! Of course not. I love you.” I pecked him on the lips which left his pouty. I smiled at his cute face and rested my head on his chest.

“Addie, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, sweetie,” I said still on his chest.

“What would you do if I kissed Tre? Or Mike?”

I laughed. “I wouldn’t worry about it because I know you would do it and it not meaning anything.”

“I love it when you agree with everything. And understand everything.”

“Of course. I would only not agree with you when the day pigs fly.”

-The Day Pigs Fly-

“Billie? What the hell?”

“What?”

“I am not agreeing to this.”

“You said that you’d never not agree with me.”

“Well Billie, this is just fucking retarded.”

“Sorry.” What was he going to do? Subscribe to a porno magazine and they needed two signatures.

“You don’t even like porn. And besides, Joey could get it one day. How would you like that?”

He smiled. “My boy’s growing up.”

“You’re such a good father,” I said sarcastically.

“What? I’m not a good father?”

“Not with thinking that he’s grown up when he looks at porn. What if he’s seven?”

“I don’t know. Just forget about it. I won’t sign up for it.” A smiled approached my face.

“I love you Billie.”

“I know, I’m hard to resist.” I laughed. “Well I’m going to head off for work. I’ll be back later.”

“Alright.” The phone rang. “Hello?”

“Addie, this is Matt.”

“Yeah, I know. I saw it on the new caller ID.”

“Cool, but I need to ask you something.”

“Go ahead. People won’t stop asking me things. It’s like I’m God or something.” He let out a shy laugh.

“Well, what would you do if mom died?”

“I’d do the same thing I did last time. I wouldn’t cry because after all she did to me, she would expect me to feel sorry for her. She wouldn’t come to my funeral.”

“Well, she kinda is…dead. Again.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I went in the room she was staying in this morning and she was laying on the bed with a needle in her hand. I suppose she was inserting heroine.”

“This is a shock. She probably did it because of what I said to her.”

“Well Addie, she deserved it! She had no right to go into your home and criticize you and your family.”

“Well she didn’t find out about Joey. I’m glad because no telling what she would have done.”

“Well, I’m setting up a funeral. It’s going to be private. Just my family and yours because I don’t want to freak out people that she was actually friends with saying it’s her funeral again.”

“Alright, well I have another call coming in, so I guess call me later.” I switched lines. “Hello?”

“Hey babe.”

“Hey Billie. How’s your day?”

“It sucks without you here. Why don’t you bring Joey on down to the studio and watch us film our video for Stuck With Me.”

“Sure, sounds like a good idea. I’ll be there in a while.”

“Alright, I love you.” I don’t feel like going anywhere. Well I finally built up the strength to go upstairs and get Joey and leave.

-Studio-

Great guards. “May I help you today Ma’am?”

“I’m here to see my husband, Billie Joe.” He laughed.

“Like a little cookie like you would be married to the guitar genius like that.” I squinted my eyes. I turned around and parked in the parking lot across the street at McDonald’s and went to the payphone to call Billie.

“Hello?”

“Billie, they won’t let me in."

"Alright stay on the phone, I’ll go down there and tell them and when I tell you that you can come hang up. Alright, come on.” I hung up the phone and got back in the car and drove to the guards again.

“What did I tell you about not getting in?” I saw Billie walking across the parking lot to the guard booth.

“Let her in right now.”

“As you wish Mr. Armstrong.” They opened the gate and Billie walked alongside the car until I found a parking space. I got out of the car and the first thing I see is Billie in my face.

“Hello?” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. “Someone’s happy to see me.”

“You know I am. I missed you.” I got Joey out of the back and Billie picked him up in the air.

“So this is where all your energy is during the day.”

“Yeah pretty much.” He put Joey in his arm and put his other arm around me. “Alright let’s go shoot this thing.”