Life on Banana Street
Joey's First Steps
He was blushing. “Oh, this is officially the worst day of my life,” I said covering up my mouth like I was going to vomit. Wrong. I did vomit.
“Ewww.”
“Gross.”
“Mmmm I’d like some of that.”
“Tre, you’re sick.”
“I’m not the one that just vomited,” he said. Good point.
“Good going, period man. You made my wife throw up!”
“Well it’s not my fault she’s so hot!” Please, please, make it stop. Why did I have to be so pretty?
“Just give me the car back!” Billie shouted.
“Or what?”
“Or what? I need my car? What’s wrong with yours?” Billie asked.
“No one cares about me! I can get money for your car!” I woke up and I was in the studio.
“Billie?” He came around the corner.
“Yeah Hun?”
“How long was I asleep?”
“Since 3. I was going to wake you and we were going to go home, but you looked so peaceful on the couch.” I was rubbing my eyes.
“What time is it now?”
“Almost 10.”
“10? Is your car ok?” He looked at me.
“Why wouldn’t it be? You feelin’ ok?”
I shook my head. “It’s nothing. It was in my dream.”
“Ok, well the guys should be coming in any minute. Want me to get you anything for breakfast?”
“Um sure. You know what I like.” He picked up the keys and kissed me on the cheek.
“Be back in a minute.” I saw Joey sleeping on a pile of blankets across the room. He looked so cute. I better not wake him. Then Mike came in the door.
“Hey Ads. You’re here early.”
“Well I was here all night. I just woke up.” He was about to sit on the other end of the couch but he got back up.
“You guys didn’t…fuck did you?” I stared at him.
“No, we didn’t.”
“Kay good.” He sat back down and Billie came back with a bag from McDonald’s.
“Here, babe.” He handed me the bag.
“Thank you sweetie.” Billie sat next to me and I gave him his McGriddles.
“That’s ok, guys I don’t want any.”
“Alright.” He rolled his eyes and I threw a hash brown at him.
“There you go.”
“Better than nothing.” And then Tre came in the door wearing nothing but a thong.
“Oh my God.” He smiled.
“Like the new outfit?”
“Hey!” Billie started. “You stole my drunk outfit when I go onstage.”
“What a coincidence. I’m drunk too! I’m surprised I didn’t go to jail this morning.” Everyone broke into laughter.
“Tre you stupid ass,” Mike said.
“That’s dumb ass thank you very much.” After Billie and I finished our breakfast and we finished talking, Billie said, “Guys, what did y’all come in today for anyway? We’re done with the video.”
“Serious?”
“Yeah. Addie and I were working on it all night.”
“Oh, well Mike let’s get out of here,” Tre said.
“I don’t think so,” Mike said holding his chest. “You’re not driving. Not today.”
“Parteh Poopah,” he said, trying to sound like Arnold Swarchenegger. I laughed and Mike and Tre left.
“So…” Billie said.
“So…I wanna go home. I haven’t been there in a day.” He kissed my forehead.
“Of course. Let’s go.”
-Back Home-
I took Joey out to the backyard and I watched him crawl around on a blanket. I think today, I was going to start teaching him how to walk. “Joey wanna learn how to walk?” I said baby talking. He sneezed. Well that’s a good enough answer for me. I picked his hands up to make him stand up. This process went on for hours while Billie stood at the door admiring me trying. “Well you could help you know,” I said over my shoulder. He came outside and sat beside me. Billie did the same thing I did and Joey walked right to him. “What the fuck? I’ve been doing this for hours!” He laughed and he got up and walked a few feet away. “Alright stand him up and let him come to me.” I picked him up and he stood on his own and I watched as the miracle of Joey’s first steps unfolded before me. When he got to Billie, he picked Joey up and lifted him up in the air and blew on his stomach.
“That’s a good boy, Joey! I’m so proud of you.”
“It’s not a dog.”
“No. Dogs are more trainable,” he joked. I put my head on his shoulder.
“Well I think that’s enough for one day,” I said.
“I’m pretty tired.”
“Well you better make time for…” He gave me the eye.
“Billie! Aren’t you out of…” I looked at him shyly.
“Condoms? Hell no,” he said.
“Alright, well I’ll put Joey to sleep and I’ll meet you in the bedroom.” And you know what happened that night… We filled up condoms with whipped cream and threw them at peoples cars. Just like old times.
“Ewww.”
“Gross.”
“Mmmm I’d like some of that.”
“Tre, you’re sick.”
“I’m not the one that just vomited,” he said. Good point.
“Good going, period man. You made my wife throw up!”
“Well it’s not my fault she’s so hot!” Please, please, make it stop. Why did I have to be so pretty?
“Just give me the car back!” Billie shouted.
“Or what?”
“Or what? I need my car? What’s wrong with yours?” Billie asked.
“No one cares about me! I can get money for your car!” I woke up and I was in the studio.
“Billie?” He came around the corner.
“Yeah Hun?”
“How long was I asleep?”
“Since 3. I was going to wake you and we were going to go home, but you looked so peaceful on the couch.” I was rubbing my eyes.
“What time is it now?”
“Almost 10.”
“10? Is your car ok?” He looked at me.
“Why wouldn’t it be? You feelin’ ok?”
I shook my head. “It’s nothing. It was in my dream.”
“Ok, well the guys should be coming in any minute. Want me to get you anything for breakfast?”
“Um sure. You know what I like.” He picked up the keys and kissed me on the cheek.
“Be back in a minute.” I saw Joey sleeping on a pile of blankets across the room. He looked so cute. I better not wake him. Then Mike came in the door.
“Hey Ads. You’re here early.”
“Well I was here all night. I just woke up.” He was about to sit on the other end of the couch but he got back up.
“You guys didn’t…fuck did you?” I stared at him.
“No, we didn’t.”
“Kay good.” He sat back down and Billie came back with a bag from McDonald’s.
“Here, babe.” He handed me the bag.
“Thank you sweetie.” Billie sat next to me and I gave him his McGriddles.
“That’s ok, guys I don’t want any.”
“Alright.” He rolled his eyes and I threw a hash brown at him.
“There you go.”
“Better than nothing.” And then Tre came in the door wearing nothing but a thong.
“Oh my God.” He smiled.
“Like the new outfit?”
“Hey!” Billie started. “You stole my drunk outfit when I go onstage.”
“What a coincidence. I’m drunk too! I’m surprised I didn’t go to jail this morning.” Everyone broke into laughter.
“Tre you stupid ass,” Mike said.
“That’s dumb ass thank you very much.” After Billie and I finished our breakfast and we finished talking, Billie said, “Guys, what did y’all come in today for anyway? We’re done with the video.”
“Serious?”
“Yeah. Addie and I were working on it all night.”
“Oh, well Mike let’s get out of here,” Tre said.
“I don’t think so,” Mike said holding his chest. “You’re not driving. Not today.”
“Parteh Poopah,” he said, trying to sound like Arnold Swarchenegger. I laughed and Mike and Tre left.
“So…” Billie said.
“So…I wanna go home. I haven’t been there in a day.” He kissed my forehead.
“Of course. Let’s go.”
-Back Home-
I took Joey out to the backyard and I watched him crawl around on a blanket. I think today, I was going to start teaching him how to walk. “Joey wanna learn how to walk?” I said baby talking. He sneezed. Well that’s a good enough answer for me. I picked his hands up to make him stand up. This process went on for hours while Billie stood at the door admiring me trying. “Well you could help you know,” I said over my shoulder. He came outside and sat beside me. Billie did the same thing I did and Joey walked right to him. “What the fuck? I’ve been doing this for hours!” He laughed and he got up and walked a few feet away. “Alright stand him up and let him come to me.” I picked him up and he stood on his own and I watched as the miracle of Joey’s first steps unfolded before me. When he got to Billie, he picked Joey up and lifted him up in the air and blew on his stomach.
“That’s a good boy, Joey! I’m so proud of you.”
“It’s not a dog.”
“No. Dogs are more trainable,” he joked. I put my head on his shoulder.
“Well I think that’s enough for one day,” I said.
“I’m pretty tired.”
“Well you better make time for…” He gave me the eye.
“Billie! Aren’t you out of…” I looked at him shyly.
“Condoms? Hell no,” he said.
“Alright, well I’ll put Joey to sleep and I’ll meet you in the bedroom.” And you know what happened that night… We filled up condoms with whipped cream and threw them at peoples cars. Just like old times.