Life on Banana Street
I'm Addicted To You
I stayed there with Tre as long as I can remember. I remember going to the elementary school to pick up Joey with Tre, but that’s about it. All my mind was focused on was ‘I love this man.’
I admitted it. Not since he’d cheated had I really admitted to myself. I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. [twilight. ha.]
I walked into the bathroom and, knowing Tre, he had a full length mirror on the way to the bathroom and I looked how large my stomach was, only for 3 ½ months…
But, if I had admitted it, and Billie was technically still alive, would it make it wrong to get with Tre? I don’t know so I did it anyway.
I walked back into the living room and Tre was on the phone.
“Uh…yeah she’s right here.”
He handed the phone to me.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hi Addie.”
“…Heey. Who is this again?”
“…Pete.”
I thought about hanging up. Wait, I thought he was dead…Did he come back to life?
“Oh. Hi.”
“Do you want to get some coffee with me? I’d like to talk to you.”
“Why?” I tried stalling because coffee didn’t sound like the most appetizing thing right now.
“I want to explain why I killed Billie.”
Those words haunted me, over and over again. Though it happened so long ago, it seems like yesterday I was mourning in the back of a limo with Billie’s mom. So, I went to go get coffee, but I didn’t order anything. I just sat and took in the words coming out of his mouth.
“So, why did you do it?” I asked.
“Many reasons. Anger. Jealousy…” God damnit. Really? “I didn’t like the way he looked at you. It was pure love.”
“And that’s a bad thing? You thought that if you killed him, that wouldn’t make me sad at all, and we could be together?” I asked, disbelieving.
“Well, yeah. It sounded good at the time…”
“And you never went to jail for this? God, I should turn you in.”
“Don’t. I-”
“Don’t tell me you love me, because you don’t. Even if what you did would have worked, Mike would be on my list before you. You don’t understand anything. Go finish school.”
I got up and left in anger and got back to Tre’s house sooner than I expected. Only one person could cheer me up right now, and he wasn’t even conscious. So, I just backed out of the driveway and went to the hospital. I strode back to Billie’s room and immediate tears fell from my eyes when I entered. I pulled up the chair next to the bed and held his IV inserted hand and wept with my head down, listening to the constant beeping of the machine. I quietly hummed ‘Alison’ by Elvis Costello and the cold hand suddenly spiked warm.
In shock, I looked at Billie’s eyes and they were twitching, the machine going crazy. Six or seven nurses came in then, told me to go home, and wheeled his bed away. I sat in the chair, thinking about what just happened and decided to complain. Ah…cramps. Stupid Future Baby. But I was confused as to why they took him away…
I went in the hallway and I heard screaming down the hallway, something about ‘opening.’ Probably someone giving birth. I kept walking and as I got closer, I could make out ‘his eyes are opening.’ My heart skipped a beat and I searched for the area the shouts were coming from. Finally, it was in front of me and Billie was there, eyes still twitching, the nurses and doctors dead still. If a pen dropped, it would sound like an atomic bomb to them, but not to me, my heart was pounding to loud in my ears.
The moment I had been waiting for so long, his eyes opened all the way and the machine was normal. He looked around and his eyes came straight to me. “…Addie…”
I burst out and clamped over my mouth and started to cry. “Billie!”
He smiled and the nurses and doctors looked at me. “Are you this man’s girlfriend?”
“No…I’m his wife.”
They made way so I could get to the side of the bed. I stroked my hand through his hair and kneeled down. “Billie, I love you so much. You don’t know how worried I’ve been. I didn’t think you were going to make it.” More tears.
He pulled my face down and we kissed, better than our ‘wedding’ kiss. “I love you too. Did you remarry?” he asked jokingly.
“Damnit.” I sighed. “Tre.”
His eyes went wide. “What?! You remarried Tre?!”
We both stopped and looked at the people around us, they were listening intently. “Oh.” I heard a bunch of them say and they went outside the room.
“No, baby. I didn’t…remarry him. But, I did tell him that if you were…to pass, that I’d…well I’d marry him.”
“Are you dating him.”
“Not technically, but I have been…sorta living with him.”
He paused. “Well, what now?”
“…I don’t know. Maybe I…I don’t know. I’m tired of breaking his heart. Help me out here.”
“Stay here until I can go, and we’ll both go to Tre’s house and he’ll understand. I think…He’s used to girls, especially you, dumping him all the time. We’ll be back together soon enough, babe. I promise,” he said reassuringly. He stroked my cheek and that’s the last thing I remember until the fight.
I admitted it. Not since he’d cheated had I really admitted to myself. I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. [twilight. ha.]
I walked into the bathroom and, knowing Tre, he had a full length mirror on the way to the bathroom and I looked how large my stomach was, only for 3 ½ months…
But, if I had admitted it, and Billie was technically still alive, would it make it wrong to get with Tre? I don’t know so I did it anyway.
I walked back into the living room and Tre was on the phone.
“Uh…yeah she’s right here.”
He handed the phone to me.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hi Addie.”
“…Heey. Who is this again?”
“…Pete.”
I thought about hanging up. Wait, I thought he was dead…Did he come back to life?
“Oh. Hi.”
“Do you want to get some coffee with me? I’d like to talk to you.”
“Why?” I tried stalling because coffee didn’t sound like the most appetizing thing right now.
“I want to explain why I killed Billie.”
Those words haunted me, over and over again. Though it happened so long ago, it seems like yesterday I was mourning in the back of a limo with Billie’s mom. So, I went to go get coffee, but I didn’t order anything. I just sat and took in the words coming out of his mouth.
“So, why did you do it?” I asked.
“Many reasons. Anger. Jealousy…” God damnit. Really? “I didn’t like the way he looked at you. It was pure love.”
“And that’s a bad thing? You thought that if you killed him, that wouldn’t make me sad at all, and we could be together?” I asked, disbelieving.
“Well, yeah. It sounded good at the time…”
“And you never went to jail for this? God, I should turn you in.”
“Don’t. I-”
“Don’t tell me you love me, because you don’t. Even if what you did would have worked, Mike would be on my list before you. You don’t understand anything. Go finish school.”
I got up and left in anger and got back to Tre’s house sooner than I expected. Only one person could cheer me up right now, and he wasn’t even conscious. So, I just backed out of the driveway and went to the hospital. I strode back to Billie’s room and immediate tears fell from my eyes when I entered. I pulled up the chair next to the bed and held his IV inserted hand and wept with my head down, listening to the constant beeping of the machine. I quietly hummed ‘Alison’ by Elvis Costello and the cold hand suddenly spiked warm.
In shock, I looked at Billie’s eyes and they were twitching, the machine going crazy. Six or seven nurses came in then, told me to go home, and wheeled his bed away. I sat in the chair, thinking about what just happened and decided to complain. Ah…cramps. Stupid Future Baby. But I was confused as to why they took him away…
I went in the hallway and I heard screaming down the hallway, something about ‘opening.’ Probably someone giving birth. I kept walking and as I got closer, I could make out ‘his eyes are opening.’ My heart skipped a beat and I searched for the area the shouts were coming from. Finally, it was in front of me and Billie was there, eyes still twitching, the nurses and doctors dead still. If a pen dropped, it would sound like an atomic bomb to them, but not to me, my heart was pounding to loud in my ears.
The moment I had been waiting for so long, his eyes opened all the way and the machine was normal. He looked around and his eyes came straight to me. “…Addie…”
I burst out and clamped over my mouth and started to cry. “Billie!”
He smiled and the nurses and doctors looked at me. “Are you this man’s girlfriend?”
“No…I’m his wife.”
They made way so I could get to the side of the bed. I stroked my hand through his hair and kneeled down. “Billie, I love you so much. You don’t know how worried I’ve been. I didn’t think you were going to make it.” More tears.
He pulled my face down and we kissed, better than our ‘wedding’ kiss. “I love you too. Did you remarry?” he asked jokingly.
“Damnit.” I sighed. “Tre.”
His eyes went wide. “What?! You remarried Tre?!”
We both stopped and looked at the people around us, they were listening intently. “Oh.” I heard a bunch of them say and they went outside the room.
“No, baby. I didn’t…remarry him. But, I did tell him that if you were…to pass, that I’d…well I’d marry him.”
“Are you dating him.”
“Not technically, but I have been…sorta living with him.”
He paused. “Well, what now?”
“…I don’t know. Maybe I…I don’t know. I’m tired of breaking his heart. Help me out here.”
“Stay here until I can go, and we’ll both go to Tre’s house and he’ll understand. I think…He’s used to girls, especially you, dumping him all the time. We’ll be back together soon enough, babe. I promise,” he said reassuringly. He stroked my cheek and that’s the last thing I remember until the fight.