Empty Places

I awoke the next morning anxious to get home. I wanted to get out of that stupid room, away from that awful bed and most importantly into Brendon’s arms. As soon as the nurse walked in I asked her if anyone was out there for me. She said there wasn’t. I started to get worried, Bren said he would be here first thing in the morning. I started to feel more and more anxious as time passed by. The at eleven o’clock the door finally opened to reveal Brendon Urie smiling sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, I woke up late and then I didn’t know what you would want to wear so I brought a bunch of things for you to decide.” He said apologetically.

“It’s fine Bren,” I say smiling.

He handed me the clothes he’s brought, then he stepped out for me to change. I felt so weak I almost fell as I tried to get to my feet. I had to use the bed for support, it’s only temporary, I tell myself. I suppose that this is what happens when your body is immobile for a year. I get dressed but the clothes once fit me perfectly, are now big on me. I’ve lost so much weight. I look at myself on the mirror on the wall, I’m paler than usual and extremely thin. I look away, that’s not what I wanted to see.

Things will go back to being what they used to be, I tell myself. I used the wall for support as I make my way toward the door. I manage to get the door open, but I nearly fell except Brendon was there to catch me.

The nurse saw me and she came over to us, “Mr. Ross you shouldn’t do that by yourself, you’re going to need quite a bit of help as your body gets used to doing things as it used to, like holding your own weight. So I advice you to take it very slowly and if something is too hard for you ask for help.”

“Ok. got it,” I say annoyed at her lack of faith on me.

“Don’t worry I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything too strenuous,” said Brendon smiling at her.

“Dr. Zimmerman would like to see you before you leave.” She said pointing towards to his office.

Brendon helped me get there. I guess it will take a while before I can get around by myself. The doctor basically told us the same thing the nurse did and that he wanted to see me in about two weeks for a checkup. Brendon once again agreed to help me with everything. He is the sweetest guy ever.

We walked down to the parking lot and got into Brendon’s Jaguar. The drive home was silent. Everything seemed the same as we entered our apartment. I was surprised no one had planned a “Welcome home Ryan” party and for that I was relieved.

“So…where is everybody?” I ask as I sit down on the couch.

“I told everyone you might want some space so I told them that I wanted you all to myself for today,” Brendon replied smiling.

“I’m glad to know you’re always a step ahead of everyone else,” I say.

He chuckles.

Then I notice a picture on the on the coffee table, I’ve never seen it before. It’s them Brendon, Jon, Spencer and someone I don’t know. It seems as if they were standing in front of our tour bus. I can’t help but wonder who that other guy is. He seems very well toned, has black hair and brown eyes. “Bden, who’s this?” I call out.

Brendon comes to the living room from the kitchen, “what’s up?”

“Who’s this guy?” I ask pointing at the guy from the picture.

“That’s Jack,” Brendon replies a bit nervously.

“Is there something you’re not telling me Bden?” I ask straight up.

“He was hired to replace you on our Pretty.Odd. Tour.” He answers clearly pained.

“Oh.” Is all that comes out of my mouth.

“Ry, I’m sorry but the tour was sold out and we needed a guitarist, we couldn’t just cancel all of the shows.” He said.

“It’s ok Bden, I totally understand,” I lie. Truth is it bothers me, a lot. I feel left out, more like replaced.

Brendon goes back to whatever he was doing in the kitchen. I get up from the couch and use things around me for support. Everything in our apartment looks the same yet different. There are a lot of pictures of the guys with Jack, and there are pictures of just Brendon with Jack, those are the ones that bother me the most. I make my way upstairs, to our bedroom. There are more picture of Brendon and Jack, I can’t help but wonder if there’s something going on between them. Is that why Brendon was acting so strangely? I don’t know how to feel. Things had certainly changed, and this was only the beginning.