Empty Places

I made my way to our bedroom, everything looked the same here. The pictures of Brendon and me stood where I had placed them. These pictures I actually liked. They made me smile, I weakly made my way to the bed where I laid down for a second to rest. Who could have thought just getting around my own home would be so exhausting. I got back up to walk into the bathroom, a shower would sure be refreshing. Unfortunately my body didn’t want to cooperate, I fell to me knees. I hated being weak and delicate.

Then out of the corner of my eye I noticed the red fabric under the bed. I reached for it, it was a shirt. Not mine, and too big to be Brendon’s. It sure didn’t smell like Brendon either. The only thing that came to my mind was Jack. I highly doubted Spencer or Jon had been up here leaving their shirts behind. I felt pure rage flow through me. How could Brendon do this to me? Then I heard him coming up the stairs.

“Ryan? Are you up here?” He called out.

I quickly threw the shirt back under the bed and used whatever strength I had left to sit on the edge of the bed. “Yeah I’m up here.” I answered, trying to calm myself.

"Hey what are you doing up here?" He asked clearly concerned.

"I wanted to take a shower." I replied coldly.

"You could've asked me for help you know." He said.

"Well maybe I don't want your help!" I snapped.

"Ry, what's wrong?" He asked as he came to sit next to me.

I look away from his pleading eyes, as much as I hate it I'll continue to play his game for now. "I just hate being weak." I lied.

"Ryro, you know I'm here for you. I love you." He said, he laying a soft kiss on my cheek.

I don’t know how he can keep up his ridiculous pretense, I turn to him and smile as naturally as I can. “I’d like to shower now.” I mumbled.

“Wouldn’t you prefer a bath?” He asked smiling.

I gave him another fake smile before he walked into the bathroom. The bath was quite refreshing, I wrapped a towel around my waist and stepped out of the bathtub without Brendon’s help. I stared at myself in front of the mirror, why would Brendon want me anymore when I look like this? I looked away from my reflection.

I was but a mere shadow of the guy I used to be, but maybe that could change. I plugged in the hair straightener as I got dressed, I slipped on a pair of black skinny jeans, a red shirt, and black vest. I walked back into the bathroom and began to straighten my hair, it’s been a while since I’ve straightened it. I decided to put on eyeliner as well. There. I looked much better. I as I stared at better reflection Brendon walked in.

“Wow Ryan you look amazing,” he said practically drooling.

“Thanks,” I said blushing. It’s kind of sad how easily he gets to me.

“It’s a good thing you’re all dressed up cause our friends decided to throw a part for you.” He said clearly ready for my outburst.

But I was more than ready to go back to being the old Ryan, “that sounds great.”

“Alright then, let me get ready and we’ll leave.” He came up to me and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

While things may have changed, I sure hadn’t. But I was ready to go back to the life I once led.