Me With(out) You

Low murmurs can be heard from the basement and I don't want my foster parents to know. Gerard's down there with a couple of his friends; he told me I wasn't allowed to set a foot on the stairs and to stay away from the basement. You see, I'm only six and I don't understand anything. The grown-ups never want to tell me anything.

Quietly, I place my right foot on the first step and pause. The laughter and yelling continue as it was before so I know they didn't hear me. I make my way down the staircase, stopping halfway on the steps to peer into the poorly lit room. My bunny that I've had since I was a baby is in my arms and I cling to it for dear life; its purple, amtted fur has rough patches all over it from the fire I'm told I started. Rabbit is missing an eye and his smile is faded but he's still the most charming gentleman to me. He wouldn't tell a soul all the things I tell him.

There's smoke in the room from Gee's cigarettes but it smells different than it usually does. I could see beers on several of the tables so i guess they were drinking; I don't like ti when Gerard drinks because he gets sad and he's not fun when he's sad. I sit on the steps to watch, but when my butt hits the wooden step there's a loud creak. The room gets quiet and i hear someone say, "See what it is, Ray."

I wanna run but I knwo Ray will catch me; last week when Mikey was baby-sitting me, we played tag and Ray was chasing me all around the backyard until the time Jared and Melanie came home. Ray would always catch em and toss me up in the air, sometimes saying that if he threw me high enough, I would never come down. I could never outrun Ray, so I tried to blend in with the dark, but the curly-headed boy saw me. Ray picked me up, laughing and took me down into the smoke-filled room that smelt so funny.

"Who was it, Ray-Man?" slurred Mikey. I quickly sought out Gearad in the room to see if eh was mad. He had his short black hair messy and his white t-shirt had a brown stain at the collar. But even though he looked a mess, Gee's hazel eyes were still shining bright.

"No one, just Maddie. She was sittin' on the stairs, tryin' to listen to us. Weren't you Mad'son?" Ray looked down at me with his sleepy brown eyes but I covered my nose from hsi stinky breath that remeinded me so much of Momma.

"I was not Ray. I just wanted to see what you guys were doing down here." I answered Ray defensively; in response,, heraised an eyebrow then laughed. Setting me on the ground gently, Ray tousled my brown hair then sat down on the ground next to Mikey who passed him a beer, I stood there for about a minute and a half and watched all the boys in the room except the one who was the last person I looked at.

When I finally glanced at gee, I noticed he was watching me through his half-closed eyes. Slowly, I crossed the room and crawled into his lap; getting comfortable, I rested my head on his chest and proceeded to fall asleep when Gerard whispered, "You know you're not supposed to be down here, Maddie."

I turned my face away from the light of the room and into Gerad's shirt; he smelled like my favorite ice cream mixed with his cigarettes. I murmured, "I know," and went off into dreamland. The next time I opened my eyes, I was in my bedroom and gerard was tucking me in. I yawned and Gee smiled.

"Sing me a lullaby, Gerard.' I said, trying not to doze off. Gee sat on my bed and sighed.

"What would you liek me to sing, you little monster?" He said, tickling me.

"My song! My song!" Squealing from hsi tickling, I rolled around. Gerard shsshd me so I wouldn't wake Jared and Melanie.

"Ok, you have to be quiet though, Maddie." I nodded eagerly, waiting for him to start.

"I see you lying next to me. With words I thought I'd never speak. Awake and unafraid, asleep or dead."