Me With(out) You

It's been twelve years since the last time I saw Maddie. I tried for years to keep the last image I saw of her out of my head; I was just trying to remember the little girl that I knew and loved as a sister. She basically was my baby sister until the day the social worker took her away screaming and crying. I died a little inside that day but held it together so that maybe one I would be able to get Maddie back.

I tried finding her a couple of years ago when the band made it big; my mom and dad warned me against it, saying that I wasn't mature enough and didn't have a stable life. Not to mention my drinking had gotten out of control. I couldn't take care of kid let alone myself; so I cleaned up and took care of those problems.

My lawyer was contacted three days ago about a child that may have been of interest to me. The child services here in Phoenix had me as a reference in their books to contact if Maddie was ever taken from her mom or in trouble. Since this was her fourth time being arrested, the courts were at a crossroads: make her stay and face jail time or send her to a home where someone was willing to take care of her? The chose the latter and now she's coming to live with me. It's not much notice and the band is on tour as of the moment but at least she's safe and sound and I'm grateful for that.

But the girl who walked through that door barely resembled the little one I had taken care of so long ago. Maddie as a child would always have a smile on her face except for the times she was scared. The Maddie had a grimace instead and hate in her pretty brown eyes; she had a black eye instead of makeup, but what did I expect? She just got out of jail eight hours ago; she wasn't going to be too happy about the situation.

I stood up, as did Mikey and Ray. No doubt we didn't look like the boys we did a decade ago. Mikey now looked like a domineering man instead of the geeky kid he used to be, but his face broke out into a smile when the door opened to let her in. Ray's hair was still curly like it used to but less unruly as it hung around his face. A smile also spread his lips when she walked in. I on the other hand hadn't changed that much.; except for that year I was bleach blond and now I wore a lot more black, I was still the me I was back then on the inside.

It was awkward and quiet for a minute. It seemed non of us had prepared for this moment when we would finally see her again; the guys knew I had been trying to find Maddie but even I didn't think it would be until much later on. Mikey opened his mouth to say something, quickly closing it a second later. It seemed Ray was hadn't even breather since he began smiling. She was the one who had the balls to make a sound even though she looked more frightened than all of us put together.

"Hello." And that was it. her voice was small and shook a little bit but it was something. I don't know if I was seeing it correctly but to me it seemed as if she was inspecting us underneath her eyelashes, searching out every detail. She was criticizing us without even saying a word.

"I hope you remember us Madison. It would hurt my feeling if you forgot this curly-headed fool." Ray said, breaking the tension. He tried to laugh and to get us going along with him but it wasn't happening.

"I remember all of you. You hair is smaller, Ray." Madison said. it seems as if a tiny smile was on her mouth. Even if it was a small one, she looked so pretty when she smiled.

All of us talked for over an hour, the awkwardness having washed away. She rarely looked me in the eye, though. Instead of talking, I watched how everything played out and how she got along with Mikey and Ray to if it would be okay to introduce her to Bob and Frank soon, who were out for an interview.

"Have you finished school?" I asked after Maddie questioned Ray on whether or not eh ever graduated. She looked up at me, her eyes in slits; I thought she looked as if she was going to kill but there was no reason for her to be mad at since I had barely uttered a sentence since she walked through the door.

"I left last semester to avoid my mom from making a scene at the school. I was going to graduate but probably won't now." Maddie answered me, and then yawned. "I'm kind of tired; can I go to bed?" She asked, getting up from the couch where she had been sitting across from me, in between Ray and Mikey.

"Of course you can! You don't have to ask permission to go to bed, Mad'son. Just tell us to shut up then leave; it works great for Gee, but he's always a bitch, aren't ya Gee-Gee?" Ray said, laughing as I rolled my eyes and said, "Night, Madison."

"Goodnight." She said closing the door behind her.