Skin and Bones

I arrived at school late this morning – running down the halls to reach my class for second period. Since I don’t have my phone anymore, I don’t have my alarm clock. Brilliant.

So, since I arrived late, I’m now sitting in the principal’s office – awaiting my punishment and ‘lesson’. It’s lunch – not that I actually miss the lunch, as in food. I’m fine without it. I’m also fine with the fact that I haven’t had any kind of dinner for the past 3 days.

I haven’t seen Gerard all day, though – that’s what I miss about lunch. I can’t even text him to let him know that I’m actually in the building.

“Iero!” I lift my head quickly to see the principal’s back walk into his office. Above his right shoulder, his right index finger is motioning for me to follow. I quickly scramble out of my seat and follow him.
“Shut the door and take a seat,” he says in a firm note when I enter his office. I do as he says and place my backpack next to the chair of my choice. I look up at him and see he’s already seated and has his head deeply buried in what I’m guessing is my file.

His eyebrows are furrowed and his forehead wrinkled as he looks down at the papers in front of him – his bald spot shining in the light from his table lamp. I think he’s pushing 45. He’s not too old, but still old. He looks the way a fun uncle would look like. I think – not that I would know what an uncle even looks like.

“So!” I jump at his sudden outburst.
“You came in late this morning. Very late, I might add. You’ve already gotten three detentions in this school year, of which you’ve only sat through one. Now, I understand that you passed out in gym last week, which is why you’ve got one waiting for you, but on top of that you still have one more.” He sounds surprised – as if it’s all accomplishments.
“Do you care to explain what is going on?” His question weakens towards the end when he finally looks up at me. He cocks his head to the side.
“What happened to you cheek?” My eyes widen.

“I-“ I look down and turn my head slightly to hide my cheek from him, but at the same time not wanting to seem rude.
“I got beat up by some bullies.” I turn my head back – hoping my lie will cover for me. I stare down at my hands in my lap as I pick at my nails.

“Were they from this school?” I shake my head.

“No, they-“ I bite my lip quickly as I think.
“I don’t know where they’re from.” I look up at him, but look away quickly when I see his frowning face. Please don’t ask, please don’t ask.

“Really?” My face contorts as I hear his question. He doesn’t believe me. It’s obvious.
“You know, Frank, I’m not one to judge, but after working with controlling hormonal teenagers for,” he drags out his last word.
“I don’t know. 10 years I guess, I’ve become quite good at spotting a liar.” I lower my head further.
“What really happened?” I know I need to fight him off.
I look up at him.

“Nothing. It was just an accident. It’s okay.” I shrug and look back down. Please don’t ask.
I hear paper rubbing against paper – the dry sound resonating through the dead-silent room.

“I can see here that your parents got a divorce last year?” I don’t really understand why he says that as a question. It’s a well-known fact. The entire school knows. Heck, my entire street knows the exact moment he left.
“Your dad moved out. Is that correct?” I nod – leaving my head to lower down further.
“Has he come back?” What? No. If he did, I’d… I don’t know. He never knew I was gay. Maybe he’d react worse than my mom.

“No,” I whisper. When he doesn’t say anything further, I look up at him. He’s staring at me intensely. He’s expecting something – I can tell.
Then he nods.
He looks down at his papers quickly.

“Can you tell me why you were so late this morning?” He keeps pushing the subject. He just wants me to admit that I’m being beaten up by my alcoholic mother!
I freeze and look out the window behind the principal. It’s dark – very dark. It’s gonna rain soon.
“Is something going on at home?” I swallow and look around the room – averting his eyes. He can tell. He can fucking tell.
He sighs.
“You know, no matter what is going on, it will never be your fault.” Not my fault? Everything is my fault! I’m the one who’s anore-
I squeeze my eyes shut and lower my head so my chin is practically touching my chest.
“No matter what you’ve done, it’s no reason to hit you. Nothing is.” My head snap up and I stare at him with wide eyes. How the fuck does he know?
I shake my head.

“It’s not like that. I’m not-“ I stop myself. What? I’m not what? He can tell if I’m lying, so I can’t…
He suddenly breaks our eye-contact. He looks down at the papers – looking uncomfortable. Like he just found out something he wish he didn’t.

“Listen, you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.” He knows.
“I’ll sign you up for some time with the school’s counselor. Think of it as your detention, since it’ll be after school and you’ll probably find it annoying.” He laughs lightly, but when he doesn’t hear me joining in, he stops. He writes something down, then folds his hands and looks up at me.
“If you need to talk, I’ll be here, and the counselor’s hours are 12 to 5. You shouldn’t be afraid to come talk to either one of us.” I look off to the side – not wanting to see the empathy in his eyes.
He sighs.
“No one deserves to be hurt.” My eyes snap back up at him. His grey orbs stare at me – genuine worry shining through them.
My chest starts tightening. My stomach is one huge knot.
“You can go now. Go get some lunch.” He looks down just before the tears start welling up in my eyes. I just stare at him and his bald spot. My lower lip is quivering.

I squeeze my eyes together and mentally shake myself out of my state of shock, before I nod, grab my bag and walk out of his office. I walk past the secretary, who barely even registers me leaving, and quickly wind up alone in the long hallway near the main entrance of the school.

My jaw is hung low – leaving my mouth wide open – and my eyes are huge – starring off at nothing.
It’s like my entire life – or at least just this past week – passes before my eyes. I see all of my mistakes and wrong choices, and each time I see an alternative road.

I look up at the sign next to my head. The brown letters are standing out from the golden background.
He’s right.