Skin and Bones

Mikey’s waiting for me outside of school. He smiles his usual smile at me.

“Hi Frank,” he says, before he turns and walks towards the parking lot. I frown.

“Where’re we going?” Mikey looks back at me and smiles again.

“My brother offered to drive us home.” My pace slows down a bit. My stomach starts turning. He thinks I’m disgusting. Why would he offer to drive me, when he can’t stand looking at me? Is it out of pity?
I look up ahead and suddenly see Gerard leaning up against his battered car. It’s an old piece of crap, but it’s a car. And to me, it looks amazing – just because it’s Gerard’s.

“Hi!” Gerard’s smile is so much bigger than Mikey’s. Sometimes I have a hard time seeing the resemblance between them.
Gerard’s small, slightly yellow teeth are showing from behind his lips. My knees give out a bit.
“Hi Frank. Feeling better?” He sounds mocking. I don’t blame him. I’m pathetic and worthy of his mocking.

“Yeah,” I say lowly. I look down at my feet as I pass him and reach for the door handle to the backseat. Gerard reaches as well.
Gerard’s hand grabs a hold of the handle, and I stop my hand before I grab onto his. I smile up at him momentary, before he opens the door. I quickly climb into the car.

Gerard slams the door shut. I jump. He’s mad at me. Or at Mikey for bringing me.

Gerard gets into the car himself and quickly backs out of the spot. He looks over his shoulder as he backs up. I lean against the window so that he won’t have to look at me.

The drive is quiet, except for the Smiths blaring through the terribly old speakers. It sounds horrible really. I don’t say anything, though.

We arrive at the Way’s house not that far from the school, and Gerard parks the car in the empty driveway. I hurry out of the car and out of Gerard’s sight. I don’t want him to have to look at me more than necessary.
Mikey unlocks the front door, and we make our way up to his room. I relax and throw myself on his bed. I feel comfortable in Mikey’s room. There are no mirrors in here, and Gerard never shows up. It’s peaceful.

“I’m gonna go get some snacks. You want anything to drink?” I push myself up on my elbows.

“Sure. Just a water, please?” Mikey smiles his half-ass-smile and disappears through his door. I lie back down and close my eyes. It’s so peaceful in here. I don’t have to think about anything. Well, in a little while I have to think about that horrible school project for English about Shakespeare, but whatever. Right now it’s peaceful. No worries. No disturbances.

I hear footsteps enter the room. I know it’s Mikey, so I just lie still until he pulls me off of his bed and onto the floor. He usually sits on the floor when he studies. He says it makes it easier to concentrate. I just do whatever. I could sit in the middle of a highway and concentrate. I don’t care.

The bed gives in next to me. Mikey usually doesn’t sit on his bed until after he’s put on some Misfits or Black Flag. It usually means he’s stopped concentrating. Which usually happens after 30 minutes.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my thigh, and my eyes snap open. When I turn my head, I see Gerard.

I quickly pull away from him and crawl to the other end of the bed. What’s he doing? Why’s he touching me? Is he going to beat me up? Because I’m so fucking disgusting and won’t leave him alone? Oh my god, he knows I’m gay! He’s gonna beat me up because I’m gay! I disgust him so much! He hates me!

“Frank?”

“Please don’t hurt me! Please! I promise to leave you alone! I promise! You’ll never see me again, just don’t hurt me!” My voice is whiny and fast. I shut up. I know he hates my voice. I press myself against the wall and hold my hands up in front of my face. I drag my feet up so he won’t grab them.

“Gerard! What’re you doing?!” Mikey yells. I hear him run closer to me. He wraps an arm around me.
“What the fuck did you do to him?!” Mikey’s yell is really close to my ears, but I don’t really care. My own cries have grown louder, until it’s all I can hear.
Mikey pulls me into a tight hug.

“I didn’t do anything. I just- I-“

“Get out!” Mikey says firmly. He starts rocking me back and forth in his arms. I cry against his chest. I’m so ugly. I’m so disgusting. I’m so horrible. I can never be attractive.