Skin and Bones

I slowly open my eyes and look down. Gerard’s head is lying on my chest, breathing softly.
I smile softly and feel warmer than I’ve ever felt. Gerard’s warm breath keeps hitting my skin through my t-shirt, and each time I sigh in content.
I run a hand lightly through his dark, beautiful locks once and bring my fingers up to my nose to smell him. I close my eyes and inhale a long breath through my nose.

Gerard snuggles up against my chest.

I smile down at him and settle my hand back in his hair. It’s odd, but pleasant how the rolls have been switched. I’m usually the one snuggled into his protective arms, but now; Gerard’s the snuggler, and I’m the protector.
I’m the strong one who’ll never let anything happen to Gerard.
I smile proudly.

There’s a soft knock on the door and I turn to see Donna peeking her head in.

“Morning,” she whispers and smiles. I smile back.
The morning air is fresh and slightly chilly, but Gerard’s warm breath and Donna’s smile make me feel so cozy and at home. I feel happy.

Donna sighs and her smile fades. She opens the door and tiptoes over to the bed, where she squats down and looks at me sadly.

“The police called. They said they’re done searching your house and that you can come pick up your things.” I just stare at her with a blank look on my face. I don’t know how to react.
Should I be happy that I get my old stuff back, or should I refuse to go? I have a whole new life here – is it clever, or even safe, to bring my old life into this?

Donna reaches up and strokes my hair back.

“We’re all gonna come with you and help, okay? We can even do it for you, if you’re not up for it.” She strokes my cheek softly as I gaze at her.
I can’t just run away from it all. I need to face up to my old life one last time before I leave it. The stuff in my room has no importance to me – just some clothes and a few CD’s – and my mom’s collection of antiques can be burned, for all I care.

I would like to get at least one photo album, though. Just so I remember what loving, caring parents looked like back in the day when money, sex and anorexia wasn’t a problem.
I nod.
Donna lets go of my cheek and stands up again, then leans down and pecks my forehead.

“We’ll leave whenever you’re ready,” she whispers and walks out of the room and closes the door behind her.
I turn my head and stare at nothing.
I imagine going through my front door and back into my house.

My house – that’s all it is now; a house. It stopped being a home a long time ago.

The entire house is either filled with dust or police tape. My room might be more of a battle field than I left it. The pieces of my broken phone might still be scattered all over the floor and my sheets will still be ruffled and messed up, and the police might’ve messed that up even more.

Suddenly I feel a soft pressure on my cheek, and I look down to see Gerard’s face. His eyes are closed and his lips and nose are pressed against my cheek. He’s got his arms wrapped around me.
I smile.
Gerard feels it and pulls away. He smiles back at me.

“Morning,” he mumbles sweetly and rubs his eyes against my shoulder. I smile even wider.

“Good morning, Gee,” I whisper back and Gerard’s arms tighten around me.

“I love you,” he sighs softly against my shoulder. I giggle inaudibly.

“I love you so much, Gee,” I say out loud in a tone slightly higher than my normal voice. Gerard raises his head and grins up at me. He pulls away a bit, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“I love you, Frankie!”