Outlaws
Just a vacant three by four
I hoisted myself from the ground, the blood rushing from my head. How could I leave Gerard alone at this time of night?
Gerard saw the look on my face. "It's alright, I'm fine. We need sleep when we can get it."
I sat next to him, both of us leaning against an apartment building with our bag at our side, and we stared at the light-polluteded night sky. "What's going to happen to us?"
Silence took the air with a muffled bang coming from a few streets away. A cat slinked across the alleyway entrance.
Knowing it was unanswerable, I let it go.
"Do you think they know? Mom and Dad?"
"They must, by now. And they know why since the cellphone's right there," he answered. After a few moments, he gave me a glance that spoke clearly for him "Damn it." Sitting up a little straighter, he questioned, "Do you think we should have deleted the message?"
"If we did, then they'd have a reason to call themselves being poor innocent parents while their two troubled sons hallucinated over some shit and ran away from their warm, loving home." I smirk, loving... looks are decieving when you're an outsider looking in.
"Are you tired?", I asked.
"Not really, after screaming at you to wake up. What happened, nightmare again?"
"Yeah, stabbed and left for dead."
Even in the darkness I could see him look down at the ground.
"You deserve better", he mumbled sadly, almost to himself.
"No." I said firmly. "And even if I did, you deserve better too."
We always had our seperate opinions about ourselves. I thought Gerard always deserved better. But then, I see how much we're alike, and I know I didn't deserve anything better. It's hard to elaborate; it's just one of those gut feelings.
Gerard smirked slightly. How many times we had run into that conversation... in our room. Our previous room. Because of our parent's watchful eyes, we've never been in deeper shit than this. I suppose prior experience would've helped.
"So..." I started, not wanting to avoid the question any longer. "What are we going to do now?"
He didn't answer that one either.
"You can be stubborn sometimes." He put on his skeptical look.
"Let's........campout here for tonight and we'll figure things out tomorrow."
As we sat there, Gerard obviously trying to drift off to sleep, I bet we both thought the same thing: "What the fuck are we going to do?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
For the next week, we huddled together, searching newspapers for our faces. We thought we'd be somewhere, but it turns out they may have been starting to show their true colors after all.
To save money, Gerard suggested we should start eating less. So many kids would have come to realize how much they take their parents' protection for granted. Not us. We became financially independent the day we started "cooking our own food".
"Take it, I don't want it," Gerard shoved bread into my hands.
"What the hell, Gerard? That's the fourth time this week! You're either sick or starving yourself: pick one," I said with an edge. When it comes to my brother's safety, all else was forgotten.
"You're the thinner of us."
"That doesn't matter," I protested. "You don't want it; save it for later."
Gerard saw the look on my face. "It's alright, I'm fine. We need sleep when we can get it."
I sat next to him, both of us leaning against an apartment building with our bag at our side, and we stared at the light-polluteded night sky. "What's going to happen to us?"
Silence took the air with a muffled bang coming from a few streets away. A cat slinked across the alleyway entrance.
Knowing it was unanswerable, I let it go.
"Do you think they know? Mom and Dad?"
"They must, by now. And they know why since the cellphone's right there," he answered. After a few moments, he gave me a glance that spoke clearly for him "Damn it." Sitting up a little straighter, he questioned, "Do you think we should have deleted the message?"
"If we did, then they'd have a reason to call themselves being poor innocent parents while their two troubled sons hallucinated over some shit and ran away from their warm, loving home." I smirk, loving... looks are decieving when you're an outsider looking in.
"Are you tired?", I asked.
"Not really, after screaming at you to wake up. What happened, nightmare again?"
"Yeah, stabbed and left for dead."
Even in the darkness I could see him look down at the ground.
"You deserve better", he mumbled sadly, almost to himself.
"No." I said firmly. "And even if I did, you deserve better too."
We always had our seperate opinions about ourselves. I thought Gerard always deserved better. But then, I see how much we're alike, and I know I didn't deserve anything better. It's hard to elaborate; it's just one of those gut feelings.
Gerard smirked slightly. How many times we had run into that conversation... in our room. Our previous room. Because of our parent's watchful eyes, we've never been in deeper shit than this. I suppose prior experience would've helped.
"So..." I started, not wanting to avoid the question any longer. "What are we going to do now?"
He didn't answer that one either.
"You can be stubborn sometimes." He put on his skeptical look.
"Let's........campout here for tonight and we'll figure things out tomorrow."
As we sat there, Gerard obviously trying to drift off to sleep, I bet we both thought the same thing: "What the fuck are we going to do?"
-------------------------------------------------------------
For the next week, we huddled together, searching newspapers for our faces. We thought we'd be somewhere, but it turns out they may have been starting to show their true colors after all.
To save money, Gerard suggested we should start eating less. So many kids would have come to realize how much they take their parents' protection for granted. Not us. We became financially independent the day we started "cooking our own food".
"Take it, I don't want it," Gerard shoved bread into my hands.
"What the hell, Gerard? That's the fourth time this week! You're either sick or starving yourself: pick one," I said with an edge. When it comes to my brother's safety, all else was forgotten.
"You're the thinner of us."
"That doesn't matter," I protested. "You don't want it; save it for later."