The Only Way

We arrived at our place of exit. I heard one of the two or three men in the front yell “we have reached our destination, have a nice stay” I thought at that moment, wow this really isn’t that bad.

Until I heard them all laugh and the joke felt like it was at my expense. I laughed non-the less, as the joke still seemed funny to me. As soon as my high pitched giggle was let out, the men stopped laughing and one or two of the trodden faces I can remember seeing on the journey looked at me in disgust. Had I already done something to upset them?

Being my usual self I always upset people with being too forward, too outgoing, too funny. Who am I kidding; I upset most people with a small joke at there expense. I had learnt to deal with those sort of jokes aimed my way, which is why I laugh. But others aren’t keen on my timing for laughter I feel.

A big metal grid was laid out on the pavement as the large bolted doors were opened, I felt like a cow, caught in a herd of cattle. I was so happy to get off the melted egg sandwich truck and into the happily breezing air. But people shocked me with there reactions. People did not seem to be happy with this place, whatever it was about the nice stay joke, the way we were let off the truck or the mean looking peo…. Oh. I only just realised that we were being treated like animals at an auction and I didn’t like it one bit.

As we were led off the truck, if you could call it led? We were met by a group of mean looking faces; I thought to myself, how could I upset so many people in this short amount of time. I turned to mother. Opening my mouth to speak and nothing came out as mother looked at me frowning, putting her finger to her lips. I know the signals. I’m a sixteen year old that’s been held back a year at school because of learning difficulties, that doesn’t mean I cant understand such simple hand gestures.

I shut my mouth and followed my father in a line, my mother following behind, as if protecting me from something. I didn’t like being in the middle, it made me feel like such a child, a small child. I was 17 in a few weeks, but I’ve lost track of the date. 18th, 19th ?? I’m not sure anymore, but I was sure this wasn’t the time to ask. All the men, well men mostly, were in uniform, some saying ss some saying other things, abbreviations I presume, but non the less they looked harsh yet suitable for the place that I was just entering.

They opened the gate to a world I would never have guessed existed. As the only daughter of quite a well off family, this was like a pigsty. Except the people were the pigs. All I could see were dirty, slouching, scrawny people in what looked like pyjamas. If at this moment I could of known what I know now I would not have been thinking at this time the thought that I was. I cannot help remembering the phrase “how unhygienic”.

But would you not of too? I felt the wind scrape through my top like someone was scraping their nails on it. I shivered and felt my mother’s hand link with mine. I turned to see her show a smile, the first I had seen for ages, it made me smile too. A glimpse of hope, prosperity maybe even freedom although I didn’t know my mother was not feeling this way.

We kept walking through sludge and dusty mud, that if you kicked hard enough it would get caught in your eyes and make you wince. This happened to me many a time and one of guards turned to me and smiled. He actually smiled; I was trying to understand whether this was a smile of sarcasm of pleasure in my pain. I wasn’t sure. But I was surprised to see the boys face as he turned.

He was a little taller than me but around the same age, his uniform was different to the others. It looked worse, worse material, worse stitching, like he was some sort of amateur in this guard business. But he had such a beautiful smile. He was quite tanned and had big blue eyes and dimples, his teeth big and white.

Not that I thought this at the time, as he was not a distraction from the ongoing cattle heard, but he was gorgeous. I turned back to him to take a second glance and he was still staring at me. Not smiling as big this time but still just as cute.

I smiled back, the biggest gleam I could. At that moment an older, stern looking guard turned to me and yanked my shoulder back; I felt my whole body fly backwards with his strong grasp. “What are you smiling about missy”? I looked at the floor and didn’t reply. “Aren’t you going to answer me?” he asked again more sternly than the last time, yanking my shoulder even harder. At that point the whole line stopped moving. “Aren’t we allowed to smile here?” I asked sympathetically, expecting just a little bit back, but he frowned at me in anger.

“NO, WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS… A HOLIDAY CAMP?” he shouted in disgust. “No of course I don’t” I replied. He then shoved me back in the line. I felt uncomfortable and my shoulder ached, a horrible pain I simply couldn’t shake. Only then did I realise my mother and father had carried on walking and I was far behind.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I had thought of being away from mother in a strange unfamiliar place. I turned to the boy again, wiping tears from my eyes.

He was still staring, looking at me sympathetically. He grabbed me quickly and snuck me forward to my rightful place beside my mother. “Thank you” I said still crying. He just nodded and smiled again. I then knew now that his first smile was not one of smug sarcasm but one of happiness.